Page 75 of Play With Me

“But what if it’s the real deal?” she asks softly,without turning around. “Am I just supposed to keep living my life in fear? I’m exhausted, Anders.”

“And I wouldn’t be doing my job if I took this at face value. What’s wrong with keeping the club shut down? Lie low for a little while longer? I still haven’t had the chance to question Morroni?—”

“You’ve had nearly two months.”

“Two months where I’ve spent every waking moment with you.” My tone has a hard edge, one she doesn’t deserve, but her pointing out how long it’s been sounds awfully accusatory—a deflection from her guilt—and I’m not in the mood.

Silence fills the room, stretching as the sun dips below the horizon and the city falls under a blanket of dusky blues and purples. “Where do we go from here?” Carmela whispers.

“We didn’t have to come back, Cara.” I set my glass down and cross the room, taking hers to discard on the coffee table before I pull her into my arms. “We can go back to California. Everything was easier there. You and Maya can stay at the house while I investigate further here with no distractions?—”

“Mick will never let me take Maya to California permanently.” She twists in my arms, causing me to break my hold on her. Her brows draw together, and the little divot that pops out when she’s angry appears between the delicate, dark arches. “And Ijust reconnected with my parents. I’m not leaving them again. How could you ask that?”

“We talked about this. And Mick signed away his rights, he doesn’t get a say in what you do with Maya.”

“Yeah,” she scoffs. “We talked about it in bed when you were balls deep inside me, Anders. You think it matters that he signed away his rights? I think we both know he can take me to court and fight for her if he wanted to. And he’d win—you know he would.” She takes a deep breath before continuing, “In theory, us moving to California is a great idea. But Maya has school, and I don’t want to rip her away from her friends—from everything she’s ever known. And now that Mick?—”

“Now that Mick, what?” I snap. “Now that Mick isavailable? Now that Mick no longer has a wife? Now that Mick,what, Carmela?”

She ignores my question. “It’sfouryears. Maya has four years left of school. Greta and Roe can come live here.”

“They can’t move to New York!” I yell, throwing my hands in the air. “It’s way too crowded.”

“We can all live at the house in Jersey. There’s plenty of room,” she argues.

“In the house that Mick bought you?” Now, it’s my turn to scoff. “To hell with that, Carmela. Besides, Roe can’t take the cold weather. And neither can my mother. Her arthritis is bad enough as it is.”

“What do you want from me, Anders?”

“I want you to answer me!” I roar, causing her to flinch. “Why are you so quick to believe Mick? Nothing about this is right! Nothing about this situation makes sense!Whywould the murderer just decide to stop? It’s all just a little too coincidental that Mick just so happened to find the letter, don’t you think? Why was he even at Désirer? Doesn’t any of it seem suspicious to you?”

“No! It doesn’t! All I care about is that it’s over!” she shouts. I don’t know which she’s referring to—the letters and the murders, Mick and Kate, her waiting for Mick to come to his senses and beg for her forgiveness for the way he’s treated her?

Us.

“Why are you so quick to treat your life like it’s so unimportant? You just eat up whatever Mick fucking feeds you, and then you go back and beg for more.Why, Carmela?No one is taking this fucking seriously!Ihaven’t even been on my A-game because I’ve been so wrapped up in you! For Christ’s sake, it’s no wonder we haven’t caught this guy yet.” I walk away, running a hand through my hair as all my insecurities come to the forefront.

Flashes of the night Mariana died in my arms play like a movie behind my lids as I close my eyes. The feeling of complete hopelessness as she bled out and there was nothing I could do, all because I got too involved.

It was only ever supposed to be physical between me and Carmela. But now? The thought of losing her sets my blood on fire. The threat of her being taken away sharpens every baser instinct I have to protect what’smine.

“I don’t want to live my life in constant fear that something is going to happen to me, Anders! Always looking over my shoulder and wondering if someone is watching me. Feeling like I can’t have Maya with me, in case she gets hurt. The letter said I was safe!”

“IT’S A FUCKING LETTER! Who KNOWS where it came from!” I spin back around angrily. “Convenient that it comes at the same time Mick announces his split from his wife. Put the pieces together, Carmela. You’re smarter than this.”

“Don’t you do that. Don’t you belittle me for wanting to believe I’m out of harm’s way! And you know I don’t care about Mick’s announcement. To think he’s the one behind all of this is absurd! He wouldn’t harm a hair on my head, let alone have his own daughter kidnapped!”

“Oh, stop being so fucking naïve, Cara,” I spit out. “Everything was to scare you so that you’d run right back into his arms so he could protect you!”

“Killing random men is going a little too far, don’t you think?” she sneers. “He wouldn’t stoop that low. I don’t—” she cuts herself off, swallowing a sob as angry tears gather in her eyes. “I don’t mean that much to him to go through all of this.”

“Or maybe you just want to keep telling yourself that because you don’t want to believe it. Maybe you like the attention.” I spread my arms wide and shake my head. “Tell me, Carmela. Does the thought that he actually just might go to these lengths for you make your knees weak? Isn’t this what you always wanted? His full attention? Maybe you don’t want to let go of the lifestyle he provides you.”

I step into her space, walking her backward until she’s pressed against the window behind her. Our chests heave with fury, hot breaths mingling as we glare at each other. She looks so beautiful, even with tears running down her flushed cheeks, and the last thing I want to do is hurt her. But it’s time to hit her with some hard truths.

“You argued pretty hard about not moving to California,” I whisper, raising my arms to cage her between me and the glass. “Maybe you need to be honest with yourself. I can’t give you what he can. You have everything you’ve ever wanted at your fingertips. Who cares if he threatened your life? Who cares if he employed people to murder innocent men just to scare you? It worked, didn’t it?”

“Is that what you really think?” she spews into the space between us, head craned back as her eyes narrow. “That I’m that materialistic? That I have that much self-deprecation to let Mick play me like that?”

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