Page 68 of Play With Me

And we make a pretty good team.

The salty ocean air licks at the sweat coating my body. “I don’t remember the last time I had that much fun. I feel like a teenager again.”

Anders chuckles beside me, rubbing his thumb over my knuckles as we branch off the concrete path along the edge of the beach and head toward the water. “I can’t believe that guy tried to out-dance you. Seriously, that was like someSo You Think You Can Danceshit.”

We stop a short distance from where the waves kiss the shore and sit in the sand, hands still interlaced as I lean my head on his shoulder. After a few hours of dancing, we checked in on Maya before deciding to take a walk to air ourselves out. Anders’dress shirt is damp, and my little black dress will take some effort to peel off later.

“I forgot how much I love it. How much Imissit,” I murmur. “I got pregnant so young. Missed out on all the opportunities to dance professionally. I think that’s why I perform on the pole so much at the club.” I shrug. “I know it’s completely different but it’s the closest I can get.”

Anders is silent for a little while before he kisses the top of my sweaty head. “Why don’t you ever go dancing in New York?”

Lifting my head from his shoulder, I shake it as I stare up at the dark night sky. “I feel guilty enough as it is not being home enough for Maya.”

“If you had to do it all over again, would you?”

His question catches me off guard. But I don’t hesitate to answer. “I wouldn’t trade Maya for the world.” I stare at the waves for a few seconds before continuing, “In another life, I imagine I would have gotten married and had more kids. But in this one, I’m constantly worried that I’m going to give Maya some sort of trauma from the way I’m raising her. I’m selfish.”

“Stop it. You’re not selfish. You’re providing for your daughter,” Anders chides, bumping his shoulder into mine.

“Mick would never let her go without. I could be home with her all the time if I chose to be,” I admit in a small voice. I’ve never confessed this to anyonebefore. It only solidifies how selfish I am now that I’m hearing the words leave my mouth. “But I wanted to try to stand on my own two feet. I wanted to raise Maya with the sense that a woman doesn’t need a man to be successful.” I blow out a long breath. “Even if the only reason I have everything I do is because of him.”

“Carmela, listen to me.” Anders shifts his body toward mine, never letting go of my hand. “We haven’t known each other that long, but it doesn’t take a genius to see that you're a hard worker. Mick didn’t instill that in you, baby girl. That’s all you. You took a small gentlemen’s club and turned it into a multi-million dollar business. You run a successful restaurant. And you do all of that while raising a daughter who adores you. You need to give yourself more credit. You’re an amazing woman, and it’s time you start treating yourself with the same respect you demand from everyone else.”

Anders’ gaze burns a hole in my cheek. My jaw hurts from how tightly I’m clenching my teeth to keep myself from crying. For so long, I’ve felt sounseen. I never thought there would be anyone out there for me after I lost my heart to Mick.

I’d hardened myself to men. Telling myself I didn’t need them for anything other than sex.

ButGod,this is everything I’ve always wanted in a relationship. The simplicity of a walk on the beach while holding hands. The thoughtfulness of a danceclub when I haven’t had the chance toreallydance in so long. So now that it’s within reach, why do I keep pushing Anders away?

Mick always shows up with diamonds or something equally as extravagant. Expensive gifts meant to remind me he could give me everything I ever dreamed of. All material and transactional.

I’ve forgotten how much I miss simple affection.

And it’ssoeasy with Anders.

A simple shared smile while he watches Maya play chess with Roe. Convincing her that buying a wand from Harry Potter World is still cool at fourteen. Taking my hand as we walk unhurriedly down the street.

These aren’t things I want to give up. These are things I want to fill my future with.

And that scares me.

Once upon a time, Désirer was meant for me to stand on my own two feet one day—to continue giving me the lifestyle I’ve grown accustomed to. But it hits me with a startling force—the club no longer feels like home.

Home is starting to feel like pancakes, and Maya’s genuine laughter while she attempts to cook them. It’s hazel eyes and tan skin covered in swirls of black ink. It’s the way Anders holds me. The way he kisses me, slowly but surely, like he knows without a doubt that I’m his, and he’s mine.

“What are you thinking about so hard overthere?” he asks softly. The breeze ruffles his hair, and the sea salt fills the air, mixing with the spiced scent that is so uniquely his.

“Honestly?” I pull my eyes from the water. My heartbeat fills my ears, the rhythm matching the ebb and flow of the waves breaking against the shore. “About how happy I am right now.”

Our eyes connect. We inch closer together, the sand giving way beneath our twined hands as our lips collide—slowly, before combusting into an explosion of passion.

Caution is thrown to the wind as he pulls me into his lap, twisting a hand in my hair and around my back. I can feel the hard ridge of him beneath me, setting the space between my thighs on fire. Lust, hot and viscous, pours through me—following his hands as they race to touch every part of my exposed skin.

A sharp catcall sounds closely, causing us to pull apart. Anders cups my cheek as we share a laugh, looking around to see a group of young adults walking by.

“Come on, baby girl.” He kisses me once more. A chaste peck on the lips. “I’m ready to get you out of that dress.”

“We can’t have sex in your mom’s house with her and your grandma and my daughter there,” I tease, well aware of how old I sound.

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