Page 35 of Lie With Me

Suddenly, I understand why Jackson started slipping at work earlier this year after he met Ginny. This woman is making everything else seem blurry while she’s the only thing I can see clearly. The feeling that worms its way around my chest whenever I think of her working at the club is going to end up working to my disadvantage—and I am going to push her away if I don’t get a leash on it quickly.

“Emily left me on New Year’s,” I tell her softly. Suddenly, I’m not hungry anymore, and I abandon my plate to sit back down. Lenni sits beside me, rubbing my back gently as she waits for me to continue.

“I don’t want to talk ill of her, because even though she cheated and lied about it, her reasoning isn’t terrible.”

“Cheatingisterrible. Nothing excuses that. But carry on,” Lenni says before taking a large drink from her wine glass.

“Yeah, well. Emily and I had a veryvanillasex life, you could say. I kind of understood it with the way we were raised. Emily was so prim and proper when I first met her, but I figured after being together that long, it would be okay to talk about exploringothersexual desires. You know?”

“Of course. You guys were together for a long time. You should be able to comfortably talk to your partner about those kinds of things without getting embarrassed,” Lenni responds.

It doesn’t go unnoticed how Lenni is being way more chill talking about this than Emily was. And we’ve barely known each other for a week and a half.

“That’s what I assumed. So, when we were discussing what to get each other for Christmas, I told her I didn’t want anything from her but wanted us to try some things out. At first, she seemed up for it…but then when it came time to actually do it, I could tell she was uncomfortable.” Remembering that night is making me start to feel sick. But Lenni’s hand is comforting as she continues to stroke my back.

“What did you ask her to do?”

It takes me a minute before I can respond. “I asked if she’d do anal.”

I expect Lenni to laugh, but she doesn’t. Instead, she nods. “Perfectly normal for a guy to ask that. Shouldn’t be a big deal. If a woman isn’t into it, she just has to say no. When you’re with someone for a long time, you can still create sexual boundaries. You just have to be open and communicative with them, andhopefully,they respect that.”

“See, and I did respect that. We tried, and she didn’t like it, so we immediately stopped. But afterward, she wouldn’t even look at me. It was like she thought I was a monster for wanting to do somethingso depraved.” I hold my hand up in air quotes because those were Emily’s words, not mine.

“Then she asked what else I wanted to try, and I asked if I could tie her up. There’s something about having full control that I think would just be really hot. And she definitely wasn’t up for that.”

“These are all perfectly normal and healthy sexual desires, Tripp. I’m sorry if she made you feel like they weren’t. Trust me, I’ve seen some shit. Emily wouldn’t be able to handle one hour in Désirer if that kind of stuff freaks her out.” Lenni pulls her plate over and takes a bite before reaching over to scoop some of my shrimp onto my plate.

Handing it to me, she motions to it. “Continue. And eat up. Because if there is shrimp left over after I eat my food, Iwilleat it, too.”

A laugh escapes my lips as I dig into my dinner. “Anyway, I admitted I wanted to try a few more small things, and she told me I was gross. I told her she hadn’t tried it before, so how could she say shedidn’t like it? Pot meet kettle, I guess. She became distant after that. Always making up excuses as to why she didn’t want to have sex. Kept telling me that she didn’t think she could fulfill myweird fetishes.” I air quote again.

“Then she broke up with me on New Year’s at the party my mother was throwing right as the countdown to midnight began. Said she didn’t want to spend the rest of her life wondering if I’d go looking for what I wanted elsewhere. Eventually, I found out she’d been talking to someone for months before that all even went down. Then found out she started seeing him long before we even broke up.”

“Oh god, Tripp. I’m so sorry.”

She starts to pile her plate up again, and even though I know men shouldn’t comment on a woman’s eating habits, my big mouth says, “Jesus, woman, where do you put all of that.”

I expect her to be mad, but a melancholy look crosses her face instead. “There wasn’t a lot of food in my house growing up. I learned to survive on very little. When I came to the city, I had this idea that if I ate too much, people would think I had money and would try to rob me. It’s silly, I know. But, when I was in my apartment, where I felt safe, I’d eat a lot so I wouldn’t be very hungry the next day while I was looking for work. I’m just used to it I guess.” She chews slowly as she eats, pushing the noodles around on her plate.

Suddenly, my sob story about Emily seems so fucking stupid. My heart feels like someone hasshoved an icicle through it. I’ve never known what it’s like to be hungry. I can’t imagine what it was like to grow up that way.

She looks at me, smiling as she shakes her head and nudges my shoulder with hers. “Don’t pity me. I survived. And I eat when I feel safe. So get used to it.”

“Do you feel safe when you’re with me, Valentina?” I ask softly.

Nodding, she locks eyes with me again. “Yeah. Yeah, I do.”

An hour later, we’re sprawled out on my giant modular sofa, watchingPretty Woman.

“I can’t believe you’d never seen this movie before last week. It’s such a classic,” Lenni says as she finishes her third glass of wine and stretches out to set the cup in the holder a few cushions down.

When she settles back, we’re shoulder to shoulder, feet extended out on the ottoman in front of us. “Well, now I’ve seen it enough times to recite it by heart.”

She laughs and turns into me, placing her elbow on the back of the couch and twisting her fingers into her long waves. “This makes me very happy that you watched it. Everyone should see this movie at least once in their lifetime.”

Her body is warm against mine, and I swear she’sdeliberately trying to start something by the way she’s trying to run her toes along my calf discreetly. I’m not even paying attention to the movie, using all my willpower to tell my dick to play it cool and not stand at attention.

“I really want to touch you right now,” I tell her quietly. Out of my peripheral, I can see her head snap in my direction.

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