Page 65 of Burn With Me

It feels like there’s a hammer in my chest as I tighten my arms around her. The signs were there—I should have known. The second he said they were together at the Tisch event, I should have forced her to leave with me and kept her far away from him.

“I’m safe now. It just brought up bad memories. That’s all.” She tries to play it off. The hammer bangs against my heart, cracking the steel around it.

She says she’s safe, but it has to be because he’s gonenow.

With how he acts, there’s no way it isn’t still happening. But I can’t press her for those details, because they aren’t things her stranger would know.

“God, I really suck at this, don’t I?” She lets out a harsh laugh against my chest before pushing off me to wipe at her eyes.

“You went through something terribly traumatic. It’s okay not to like something sexually because it’s triggering.” I let her go, even though I want to keep her close to me.

“I shouldn’t have admitted all that. I’m sorry.” Ginny gets up to rush across the room, putting distance between us.

“Please stop apologiz–”

“I’ll see you next week, that is, if you still want,” she cuts me off, hand on the door, ready to leave.

She’s not looking at me, so I simply say, “Yes. Of course.”

Then she’s gone.

Running my hands through my hair, I remove my mask and fling it to the other end of the loveseat. My foot starts to tap as my forefinger and thumb stroke my chin, contemplating whether I should arrange for something to happen to Chris while he’s gone, or draw it out when he gets back.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

How can I treat her the same now? She’s so fragile. And I tear women apart.

Tap, tap, tap. Tap, tap, tap.

No. It doesn’t matter. I won’t hurther. I’ve been helping her in here. She’s taking control of herself when he’s had control for so long. Gripping my hair, I lean forward to rest my elbows on my knees.

The thought of his hands on her, the thought of himfuckingher.

Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap….

When my foot starts to bounce uncontrollably, I shoot up to grip the edge of the loveseat, adrenaline pumping through my veins as I flip it angrily. My mask and the pillows go flying as it crashes into the wall. Then, moving to the table where everything is still laid out, I swipe everything from it before throwing it across the room.

The resulting crash as the wood splinters is joined by my outraged cry. “FUCK!”

Ginny

“Miss Scarlett, is everything okay?” my guard asks as I race from the room, forgetting my robe in my hurry to get as far away from my stranger as possible.

Iknowit wasn’t Chris touching me. I tried so hard to keep my eyes open and focused on my stranger. Butanyonecould be behind that mask.

Jackson even appeared when I closed my eyes and tried to focus on anything other than the feeling of coming so close to release and having it taken away. And it was enjoyable for a little while…until it wasn’t.

It was too much like all those nights with Chris.

Thankfully, the Grand Room is nearly empty as I rush through it and into the changing suite. Sympathetic looks are cast my way as I tear the mask from my face, but I ignore them. Locking myself in one of the bathrooms, I sink to the floor and pull my knees up to my chest, resting my forehead against them, sobbing as quietly as I can.

I begged my stranger to let me come, but he wouldn’t—just like Chris.

My stranger isn’t a bad person, but in that room—on that bed—there was no difference between them.

Then, to admitwhyI was having a meltdown? The words had flown from my lips because I’m so tired of holding it back, of not being strong enough to admit I’ve been letting it happen for years.

Lettingit happen.

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