Page 129 of Burn With Me

Stepping forward to claim my place by his side, I freeze as a familiar leggy blonde steps into view, throwing her arms around him as she cries into his neck.

Viktoriya.

A bomb goes off in my stomach, pushing my organs every which way as they twist and turn and threaten to combust at the sight of her wrapped around him.

He doesn’t move back or pull her away. He continues to stand frozen, unblinking at the space where the casket will be lowered within the hour.

It’s his aunt who pulls the boundary-crossing bitch off of him, physically making her find another place in the crowd.

“Hey, gingersnap,” a smooth voice says over my shoulder. Tyler is there, reaching for my elbow and pulling me along with him as he directs us out of the section of the crowd we’re in.

“My wifey wanted me to come get you. Says you’re part of the family, so you should be standing next to them,” he answers the question I don’t voice.

It’s the only thing he says as he leads me to them, where Sadie reaches for me and settles me next to Jackson, who doesn’t acknowledge my presence. Up close, he looks even worse than he did from the other side of the crowd.

Leaning into him slightly, I reach for his hand, threadingour fingers together so that he knows I’m there to support him however I can.

His fingers tighten against mine as he takes a shuddered breath, eyes lining with tears that he blinks away furiously, refusing to let them fall in the public eye.

“I love you,” I whisper. “I’m here.”

Minutes tick by as more people show up. Sadie and Tyler quietly talk on the other side of us, pausing to acknowledge anyone who comes up to offer their condolences to her.

No one tries to approach Jackson.

Right before the officiant starts the service, Jackson turns and looks down at me. What I see on his face scares me. He doesn’t look like a man about to be forced to say goodbye to his uncle.

He looks like the man I love, trying to figure out how to say goodbye tome.

Sadie pinches the arm of my peacoat as the service ends.

Jackson turns to leave, Tyler trailing behind him as she holds me in place. “Let him go.”

Panic grips my rib cage and rattles the bones till I fear they might crack, but I let her keep me there, not bothering to move when she drops her hand away.

“Scott used to be the same way. When Simon, Jackson’s father, died, Scott spent a week drunker than piss, and I could barely talk to him. He was nasty and cruel, and that week was the first time I ever caught myself hating him. But he was hurting, and I learned that it was just the way he dealt with things.”

“Why are you telling me this?” The crowd thins until it’s just the two of us standing there, watching them put Scott’s casket in the ground as the rain starts to drizzle down slowly.

Sadie fishes an umbrella from her purse, opening it andushering me closer so we’re both safe from the downpour as it starts to pick up. “Because losing people you love is hard. But you know that already, don’t you? Jackson told me about your mother.”

The weight of my head feels heavy as I nod. Out of my peripheral, I see her turn to look at me. “Don’t give up on him. Today is the first day he’s had a moment to breathe.”

“I’m not giving up on him. I’m trying to be there for him, and he won’t let me.” Angry tears line my lashes, and I clench my teeth to keep them at bay.

“Jackson has grown tremendously since I last saw him. And I think you are the one responsible for that, Ginny. He’s pushing you away because he’s hurting, and he doesn’t want to hurt you while he figures out how to deal with his feelings.”

We stand in silence. The urge to return the way she’s trying to bring me some peace violently crashes against the forefront of my mind. “Scott never wanted to hurt you. The day you came to Decadence, when Carmela told you he brought women to California? They were nurses disguised as escorts, so no one would figure out he was sick. He tried…in the beginning. He really did.”

She didn’t shed a tear the entire service, but my confession has her pulling her oversized sunglasses from her purse and putting them on, even though there’s no sunshine in sight. “I know he loved me. And he knows I loved him. But sometimes that isn’t enough.”

Her body starts to shake as she looks away from me. Gently, I pry her hand from the umbrella and take over holding it above us. It’s slightly difficult because she’s almost as tall as Jackson, but I manage, stepping into her as I balance my weight on the balls of my feet.

She immediately notices and resumes hold of it, shaking her head as she says, “I can see why he liked you.”

My ego inflates at her comment, but her next sentence makes my heart swell.

“Thank you, Ginny. For being there for him. For being there for both of them.”

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