Page 61 of Burn With Me

Leaving me feeling like I’m back at square one.

Jackson

“My god, woman. How much clothing do you own?”

We’re on our fifth trip down to the moving truck I hired to bring Ginny’s things to her new apartment. All the boxes were from her closet, and I thoughtIhad a lot of clothing. I’d have to build an entirely new closet if she lived with me.

I don’t hate the idea of that—her moving in. We haven’t even slept together yet, but after waking up with her on Friday morning, it made me feel…scared. It was so domestic, and I’ve never been the domestic type.

It honestly sort of spooks me how many times this week I’ve thought of a future with her. At this point, I’ve filled an entire album of portraits I’ve drawn in my mind of how a life together could be. Thinking of how much I wanted it to be like that every morning, I shut down, trying to process everything while I got ready for work with her just a few steps away.

But I fear my aloofness yesterday morning may be a problemnow.

Ginny’s been relatively quiet all morning as we moved her things from the SoHo apartment to The Bryant.

She’s past pouting and is full-on acting like a puppy who got kicked. Stepping out of every embrace I try to give her and turning away from every kiss I attempt.

So between turning her down Thursday night, my actions Friday, and then with what happened at the club last night, I’m sure she’s feeling unwanted.

There are reasons I turned her down Thursday night as myself and Friday night as her stranger. Thursday, I’d been caught up in my own shit and afraid that if we went there, I’d hurt her. I wasn’t in the right frame of mind to do anything other than hold her to my body and breathe in her lemon sugar scent.

Yesterday, my head was pounding, and I couldn’t call into work a second day in a row. Even if I was the boss. The migraine lasted all day and well into the night. At the club, Ginny’s eagerness to please me grated on my frayed nerves for the mere fact that she was asking to suck another man’s cock. Even if it was to learn formypleasure.

It’s quickly becoming more complicated to keep that line between the club and reality crystal clear. According to Ginny, I said some interesting things to her when she found me drunk out of my mind. It’s a goddamned miracle I didn’t say anything about Désirer.

I want to tell her the truth, but I’m not ready to lose her.

If there were any possibility in my mind that she would forgive me for tricking her, I’d consider coming clean. However, I still think she’s too fragile to handle the truth.

Before, when this all started, it was thrilling.Exciting.

Now, it makes me sick.

Yet I continue.

Because I fear that if I were to walk away as her stranger, she’d break. And she doesn’t trustmeenough to pick up the pieces.

“Should we take a break and go grab a waffle?” I suggest as she all but tosses a box labeledclotheson the floor. Shedoesn’t answer, and I try not to wince as the box hits the real oak floors with a resounding thud.

Grabbing her by the wrist as she storms past me, I ask gently. “Ginny, what is going on with you today?”

She yanks her hand out of my grasp, but I catch her around the waist, walking her backward until her back hits the wall. “Hey. I thought you’d be happy to move in here, but all morning you’ve been acting as if you don’t have a choice. Would you rather not stay here?”

“Doesn’t matter, does it? Anytime anyone says I have a choice, I never really do,” she bites out quietly, refusing to look up at me.

It’s clear she’s upset that I keep turning her down on her offer for oral sex. The urge to push her to her knees and force her pretty mouth to take my cock is so strong I have to take a moment to steel myself before I speak. “Tell me what’s bothering you.”

Glaring up at me, she sneers, “You know what’s bothering me, Jackson. If I were any other girl, you’d have let me do it, so what’s the problem? Don’t think I’m good enough?”

“If you were any other girl, I wouldn’t have laid you out on my bed and eaten your pussy like it was my last goddamned meal, Ginny. Besides, is that what you want? To be likeevery other girl?” I bite back.

Her cheeks glow at my statement, and some of the fight drains from her eyes.

“If that’s what you want,actuallywant, I’ll take you to the bedroom right now and fuck you till you can’t stand. But I’d rather wait, because in less than a week, the thirty days will be up. I’ll have passed your little ultimatum, and you can sleep better at night knowing that I worked my ass off to earn my place by your side in that bed.”

“And then what, Jackson? Once I let you fuck me, you walk? Go back to your old ways of bedding a new girl every night?” she spits angrily.

She’s being a fucking brat, and it's pissing me off.

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