Page 60 of Burn With Me

So, I try to look more appealing as I beg my stranger to let me suck his cock while he instructs me on how he likes it.

It isn’t lost on me how off it is that I’m asking another man to teach me something to please Jackson. But it’s been four weeks now, and besides the one time he came while I rode him reverse cowgirl through his pants, all the pleasure has been mine.

Jackson said I’m a taker. I want to give as good as I get.

“Then ask your boyfriend.” He holds his tumbler up to his temple as though trying to soothe a headache.

“He’s not my boyfriend.” The words are out of my mouth before I can stop them.

He’snot. We haven’t discussed being exclusive, though I believed Stacey when she told me he hasn’t been with anyone else. Still, that doesn’t make himmine.

My stranger sighs and presses his glass harder into his skin. His body seems tense yet tired. Depleted of energy and clearly not in the mood for any type of lesson tonight.

“Where were you last weekend?” I ask, changing the subject.

“I had business to attend to out of town.”

“Did you mean what you had the booker tell me?” Suddenly, I’m self-conscious and want to cover myself with my robe, even though he’s seen me more naked than I am now. Wrapping my arms around my middle, I lean myweight back until I’m off my knees and settled against my side of the loveseat.

“What do you mean?” He sounds tired, too. Tone dancing on the edge of annoyance.

My voice is small when I answer. “You told the booker to tell me I was free to do as I wished.”

“You are free to do as you wish.”

“I thought we were exclusive.” My voice is flat, and I tear my eyes away from his overly large mask to stare at my stocking-clad feet.

“And if you wish otherwise, I will acquiesce to any request you make of me. You’ve come a long way this past month, Little Ember. It’s been a pleasure watching you come into your own…but I’ve always known I’d have to let you go one day.”

“You keep saying you’ll give me whatever I want, yet you keep turning me down.” Why are both of my men being so stubborn?

Mymen.

Yes, I think of both of them as belonging to me.

And neither wants to fulfill my wishes.

“Men like him don’t fall for women likeyou.” Chris’ words echo so loudly in my mind that I can almost swear they bounce off the walls of the room.

Maybe I’m just not good enough. Maybe both my stranger and Jackson have grown to see me for what I really am. What Chris has always called me.

Rot.

A disease.

“I think we’re having an off night. I’m not feeling well, if I’m being honest. I think it best to call it a night,” he says quietly.

Before he can say anything else, I’m off the loveseat and through the door, grabbing my robe and wrapping it around my body as I storm down the hall, not bothering to wait for my guard. Tears flow freely down my cheeks, and when I getback to the changing room, black mascara smears the delicate skin under my eyes.

A pretty woman with green eyes and dark hair pauses in my mirror. “Are you okay? Do you want me to grab someone for you?”

Shaking my head, I wipe the tears from my face and begin to undo the garter straps. “I’m fine. Thank you, though.”

“No problem. This line of work isn’t easy. Just know you always have a choice to stop whenever you want to,” she informs me kindly before walking away, her gold wings glittering as she leaves.

Staring at my reflection, I remind myself that she’s right. It’s allmychoice. In here with my stranger, and out there with Jackson.

As freeing and comforting as that is supposed to be, though, they both continue to take the choice from me by telling me no. And the events from the entire last week have all but bled the confidence from my soul.

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