Page 29 of Forbidden Impulses

I've been blessed with the promise of the most perfect men, the greatest relationship, knowing full well it isn't really for me. Not forever.

I must have done some pretty fucked-up shit in a past life.

"Where's your head at, babygirl?" Monte asks me, as his hand strokes lazy circles across my back. It's early morning on our fourth day together, and I'd woken them both up for some before-breakfast-nookie. I know what I need to do next, but I really don't want to.

"I'm thinking about spending the day with Suzie. She was looking way better last night before I went down to join you for dinner last night. In fact, I'm pretty sure she'll be able to join us out and about by this afternoon." The words are said with a twang of bittersweet.

My relief at Suzie feeling better is genuine. She had me worried there for a bit. Her parents too, because they had a doctor stop by when her fever wouldn't break.

But after some antibiotics, loads of fluids, and rest fordays,she is on the mend. Which means I can't hide from what's happening anymore. I promised myself that when she felt better, I'd talk with her and tell her what happened, and explain why I can't go home with them.

And that time has finally come.

"That sounds like a wonderful idea," Lorcan mutters against my thigh, where his head is still resting. "Do you want some girl-only time, or would you mind if a couple of old farts join you?"

I snort at his 'old farts' comment because if there is anything the two of them have proved over the last fewdays is that they're anything but old. But before I can allow the brief moment of levity to distract me, I clear my throat and shake my head.

"Uh, no," I start, before pushing up so I am sitting up and can look at them both properly. "I was actually hoping to talk to her... aboutus."

Monte sits up next to me and Lorcan turns so he's facing me head-on. "Do you want to do that alone?" Lorcan asks. "Is that a good idea?"

This is the first time either of them has shown any apprehension toward our relationship and any potential blowback it might have. Do they regret the time they spent with me? Have they been pretending to be all in this whole time?

I push the worries and thoughts deep down and I will probably never look at them again. It doesn't matter if they weren't truthful.Iwasn't truthful. And every minute spent with themfeltreal, so I'll cling to those memories when the men in them are gone from my life.

"I'd like to try on my own, if that's okay?" I ask them.

Lorcan's eyes fill with an emotion I recognize, but am personally very unfamiliar with.

Pride.

"That's perfect, babygirl. We'll be right down here. If you need us, we're just a phone call or a text away, okay?"

I smile at his answer. It’s perfect. Just like everything about them. "Thank you, Daddy," I respond before leaning over to give him and then Monte a kiss.

By the time I'm up, showered and dressed, it's almost time for breakfast. I'm hoping Suzie will be up to eating, because then I can just order room service, and we can both pig out before curling up in bed together to watch endless hours of silly television or play our usual make-believe game where we dream up the rest of our fantastical lives. And then once I have her softened up, I can tell her what I've been doing with my time while she was sick.

I'm about to knock on Suzie's door—the outside one—when I remember I can just go in through our connecting door, so I let myself into the room I haven't been using the last couple of days other than ducking in for brief moments to check in on Suzie and grab a change of clothes.

I am most certainly not expecting to see Suzie sitting on my bed with a very pissed-off look on her face.

"Where the fuck have you been, Annie?" She starts off on the offensive immediately and my gut reaction is to lie, but I was going to tell her today, anyway. Might as well just rip off the Band-Aid and get it over with.

"Have you been sneaking off and banging some tourist while I've been worried about making you spend so much time with my dads?" Her tone is beyond annoyed and the fine lines between her eyebrows almost scare me.

"No." I push out the word, barely even a whisper. "I've not been sneaking off with a tourist."

"You've also not been sleeping in here. I know. I’ve been checking in and hoping that you'd stop being so secretive and talk to me about it. So where the hell have you been?"

This is it. My moment. There's an elephant sitting on my chest and it's so heavy and just... everywhere.

"I've been staying in Lorcan and Monte's room."

The tension in the room—already high—skyrockets even more. Suzie jumps up off the bed and throws the pillow she'd been hugging back against the headboard with such force it bounces and flies off the other side.

"You've been sleepingwith my dads?"

I can't face her. Unable to look up and see the censure and hurt on her face, I nod and keep my gaze trained on my feet.

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