Page 71 of Resisting my Roommate

I slowly shake my head. “Not yet.”

“Why not?”

“I’m worried about how he’ll react.” I tap my nails nervously against the wood table. “Or more appropriately, how hedoesn’treact.”

Parker tilts her head. “How so?”

“I’m worried he won’t seem fazed by the thought of me leaving. And I get it,” I add quickly. “It’s stupid. We agreed that it was just sex. Hell,I’mthe one who suggested it just be sex.”

“But did you do that because that’s what you want?” Dylan raises a pointed brow. “Or because that’s what you knewJudewould want?”

I open my mouth to protest, but snap it shut, her words hitting a little too close to home.

I may have only known Dylan for a few months, but between working together a couple of days a week as well as spending time together outside of the taproom, we’ve gotten to know each other fairly well. It shouldn’t surprise me that she picked up on my tendency to sacrifice my needs just to avoid being rejected.

Hell, that’s how I ended up completely dependent on Carson in the first place. I was petrified I’d lose him. But after shit hit the fan on our wedding day, I swore I’d never willingly put myself in that position again.

But isn’t that what I’m doing by even entertaining the possibility of turning down Becca’s job offer?

“It doesn’t matter,” I finally say, my voice firm. “I’m more than aware of his reluctance to date, especially after I learned about…everything. A few weeks of sex won’t change his mind.”

“Never underestimate the power of the magical pussy,” Grandma Estelle remarks.

I choke back my laugh at her blunt response. I doubt I’ll ever get used to some of the things that come out of this woman’s mouth. Most eighty-plus-year-old women I’ve met have been reserved.

Not Grandma Estelle.

And I couldn’t imagine her being any other way.

“As much as I’d love to believe in the power of the magical pussy, like in this book…” I lift my e-reader for emphasis, “that’s just not real life. There are no fairy tales. No white knight coming to save the day.”

“I’m going to preface this by saying I hate this conversation since it involves my brother,” Dylan begins with a hint of feigned disgust, “but I’ve seen you together. I’ve seen the way he looks at you, Abbey.” She gives me a sincere smile. “I don’t think it’s just sex for him. I don’t think it’severbeen just sex for him. He’s just too stubborn to admit it.”

“Lawrence men and their damn stubbornness,” Haley remarks under her breath with a dramatic roll of her eyes.

“It’s a family trait.” Dylan smirks at her before turning back to me. “Which is exactly why you need to talk to him.”

“I know I need to tell him about the job eventually, especially if I take it.”

“If?” Parker interjects. “This is a great opportunity, right?”

“It is. I’m just trying to figure out if it’s the right opportunity for me.”

“Let me ask you something,” Grandma Estelle chimes in. “Take Jude out of the equation. If you never met him, would you take the job?”

“Without a doubt,” I answer quickly.

“Then I think you know what you need to do.” Dylan reaches across the table and gives my hand a squeeze. “Be honest with him. Tell him the truth. That you have this amazing opportunity but the only thing holding you back is how you feel about him. Because you love him.”

I part my lips, about to argue I’m not in love with him, but it’s useless. I’ve always been a horrible liar anyway.

“I didn’t mean for this to happen,” I admit through the tightness in my throat, the reality of everything sinking in. It feels like an impossible situation.

“No one ever does, sweetie,” Grandma Estelle offers. “That’s the scary thing about love. It hits you when you least expect it and sinks its claws into you until you have no choice but to declare defeat.”

“Regardless of what you decide about the job…,” Parker adds, “You deserve to tell him how you feel. Not for him, but for you. So you won’t always have to wonder. So you can start the next chapter of your life with a clean slate. Whether it’s here with Jude or in New York.”

I stare straight ahead, considering her words. She has a point. If I take this job without mentioning anything to him, I’ll leave unfinished business behind. I’ll never truly be able to move on.

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