Page 64 of Resisting my Roommate

Won’t change his past.

Won’t change that whatever this is between us will never be anything more than what it is right now.

“Let me hear it.” He pulls back, as if he didn’t just turn me into mush. “One, five, and ten.”

“Right.”

I snap back to the present, giving his question serious consideration as I slice into the salmon.

After taking a bite, I say, “One year from now, I’d like to be settled in my own place with a stable job, preferably back in the nonprofit sector. Not that I’m not grateful for your help in giving me a job and a place to stay,” I add quickly. “Especially now with the added…perks.”

“I quite enjoy the added perks, too.” He grazes his hand up my thigh, and I part my legs for him, but he draws back at the last second.

“Tease.”

“Maybe.” He waggles his brows. “How about in five years?”

“I’d like to be in a healthy relationship. I still want to find love, even if you think it’s bullshit.”

“I don’t think it’s bullshit. I just…”

“You don’t want that,” I finish.

He doesn’t say anything, but I notice a flicker of something in his eyes, as if he’s about to correct me. But he doesn’t.

Instead, he presses on. “And in ten years?”

“Have a family. Have a job I enjoy. Be one of those couples that make their kids cringe at how much they can’t keep their hands off each other, even after being married forever.”

The corners of my mouth curve up as I imagine this future for me. But its tinged in sadness, too. Because Jude won’t be a part of it.

“I hope you get everything you want. If anyone deserves it, it’s you.”

I want to tell him he deserves all of these things, too. That he deserves to find happiness and not be weighed down by his past.

But some lessons in life can’t be taught or forced down your throat. You have to learn them on your own.

And this is one lesson Jude has to learn for himself.

That he needs towantfor himself.

I can’t do it for him.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

JUDE

Sunshine warms my face as I sit in the back yard of my mom’s house, everyone relaxing after a filling Sunday dinner. Except for the kids. They never seem to stop. Beckham’s often joked that Maggie, his stepdaughter, has two speeds — full on or dead stop. I believe it. Even so, Abbey’s right there with all of them, pushing little Jeremiah on the baby swing as Presley and Maggie climb the rock wall attached to the playscape.

I saw how great she was with the kids when I brought her here for her first Second Sunday. But that was before I knew her well. Now that I’ve gotten to know her quite intimately over the past few weeks, I see something I didn’t back then.

Despite all the people who’ve abandoned her throughout her life, she’s still full of so much hope. So much damn love. She deserves to share that love with other people.

Something tightens in my chest at the thought.

“You’re staring hard enough that you’re about to burn a hole in her.”

When Finn’s voice cuts through, I jerk my gaze away from Abbey. My younger brother grins like the bastard he is, leaning back in the chair across from me with a knowing look.

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