Page 52 of Resisting my Roommate

He holds a hand up, cutting me off and narrowing his gaze at me. “There’s no way in hell I’m letting you walk by yourself after what just happened. Don’t fight me on this.” He lowers his voice to a level I haven’t heard in nearly two weeks. “Please.”

It’s impossible to deny him when he asks like that, even though all rationale tells me that’s exactly what I should do.

“Okay,” I finally concede.

“Okay.” A small smile teases his lips, but it disappears just as quickly.

“See.” Dylan nudges me as I watch him disappear into the brewhouse with Finn. “I told you he’d eventually come around.”

I roll my eyes, pretending not to care. “Don’t hold your breath.”

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

JUDE

A tense silence hangs heavy in the space between Abbey and me as I walk her to my townhouse after closing the taproom. With it being a Friday night, a few people are out and about, most of them heading to one of the other bars in the downtown area. Other than that, the streets are quiet.

Which only serves to amplify the unease between us.

It doesn’t help that my mind keeps replaying Finn’s words from earlier today. How I can’t keep living like this.

I know he’s right. But how the hell am I supposed to move on when everything in me feels like it’s tied to the past?

I try to focus on the rhythm of my footsteps, hoping that might help me work things out in my head.

It doesn’t.

With each step, the tension surrounding me feels like a noose, squeezing me tighter and tighter until I’m convinced I’ll suffocate unless I finally release this pressure.

“I was married,” I blurt out as Abbey is about to disappear inside my townhouse.

She stops in her tracks, but doesn’t immediately look at me, several long seconds ticking by. Finally, she meets my gaze fromover her shoulder, a mixture of compassion and confusion in her blue eyes.

“We met in college,” I explain, my voice hoarse. “She was everything I thought I wanted. Beautiful, intelligent, ambitious. We made all these plans and I couldn’t wait to build a life with her. We faced a few obstacles here and there, especially when I dropped out of school, but we made the distance work. When she graduated and took a job in Lake Tahoe, I didn’t hesitate. I proposed right away.”

Abbey fully faces me, her gaze softening. I don’t know why I suddenly feel compelled to share all of this with her, but I can’t stop the words from pouring out. With each one, it becomes a little easier to breathe.

“Everyone said we were too young — only twenty-three — but we didn’t care. We were happy. And when she told me she was pregnant several years later, I was so excited about starting a family with her. Everything was perfect…” My throat tightens and I struggle to swallow back the knot forming. “Until it wasn’t.”

Pinching my lips together in a tight line, I fight to push down the surge of emotions bubbling up inside me as I relive the worst moment of my life. When Abbey reaches for my hand and intertwines our fingers, it gives me the strength and reassurance to continue.

“Krista went into labor early. Thirty weeks.” My voice cracks, the memory clawing at me. “Our little girl fought so hard, but in the end, we lost her.” I blink back the tears threatening to fall. “After that, we lost each other.”

Abbey parts her lips, but I cut her off, needing to get this all out before I change my mind.

“Every time I walked into that room afterwards, it was like reliving it all over again. The hope, the excitement, the pain…it’s all there. It’s why I’ve done nothing with that space. And when Isaw you in there…” I trail off, shaking my head. “I shouldn’t have yelled at you. I just didn’t know how to deal with it.”

“I’m so sorry,” she whispers, her voice trembling.

“You have nothing to apologize for. I was an ass to you, Abbey. And it wasn’t because you were in the nursery.”

She tilts her head, her brow creasing. “It wasn’t?”

“No.”

“Then—”

“You scare the shit out of me,” I confess.

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