Page 45 of Resisting my Roommate

I should turn around and walk away. Pretend I never saw it.

If I thought snooping through Jude’s room and finding that ultrasound photo was an invasion of his privacy, this is even worse. Then again, Idolive here. Did he expect I wouldn’t eventually find this room? It’s a miracle I haven’t stumbled on it until now.

That’s all the rationale I need to propel me forward into the darkened space.

A photo of Jude and a beautiful brunette sits on a white dresser, her pregnant belly proudly on display. The pale pink wall behind the crib is adorned with a mural of sleeping baby animals, a matching mobile hanging overhead.

Everything’s frozen in time, waiting for a baby that never came.

The thought makes my heart squeeze, my throat closing up.

No wonder he was so cynical the night we met. If I’d suffered this kind of loss, I’d be angry at the world, too. It’s obvious this child was wanted — desperately so. I can picture Jude constructing the furniture, painting the walls, whispering his hopes and dreams for the baby against her mother’s belly.

And now all those hopes and dreams are gone.

What happened?

I’m not sure I want to know.

Regardless, one thing is certain — Jude’s past holds secrets and a pain I’ll never truly comprehend or imagine. And now, standing in this deserted nursery, I can’t help but feel even more sorrow and sympathy for him.

“What the fuck are you doing?!”

A harsh voice startles me, and I whirl around, inhaling sharply. Jude looms just on the other side of the doorway, his presence filling the room even though he doesn’t step inside. His face is contorted in anger, his dark eyes boring into mine.

I try to speak, but my words are caught in my throat from the intensity of his fury. His body is taut, jaw clenched, muscles straining.

“Answer me!”

“I… I was just looking for a mop,” I stammer out. “I’ve been cleaning the house today and thought?—”

“Get out!” he snaps, his voice sharp enough to cut me in half.

Without hesitation, I scurry from the room as quickly as possible.

“You’re never to step foot in this room,” he admonishes, his gaze fixed on me like I’ve committed some kind of crime.

Then again, I have.

“Ever. Do you understand?”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know it was…” I trail off, unsure how to finish that statement. A nursery? A child’s room?

A reminder of what could have been?

“I don’t care what you did or didn’t know,” he interrupts coldly. “I keep this door closed for a reason.” He slams it shut, the harsh sound causing me to jump. “Don’t ever go in there again.”

The intensity in his eyes leaves no room for argument.

“I’m sorry,” I offer, lowering my head and hurrying down the stairs, my entire body surging with adrenaline.

As soon as I enter the kitchen, I place my hands on the counter and take several deep breaths, trying to calm myself. But even down here, the weight of Jude’s anger hangs heavy in the air.

“You should find somewhere else to live,” his voice pierces the silence.

Instead of the pure rage I heard mere seconds ago, his words are soft, but they still cut just as deep.

I face him, searching his cold, unforgiving stare. “What do you mean?” I blink, my throat tight.

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