Page 85 of Resisting my Roommate

I toe out of my flats and shrug off my suit jacket, draping it over one of the barstools by the kitchen peninsula.

“How did you find me?”

“Dylan.”

“Of course.” I laugh nervously, unsure how to act around him, all things considered.

“I wasn’t sure you’d want to see me,” he admits, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. “But I had to come.”

“Why?”

“Because I fucked up, Abbey.”

“Is this about your fight with the crib or…”

“This is about us,” he says, grabbing my hands in his.

“Us?” I swallow hard, my heart hammering in my chest.

He takes a deep breath, his unwavering gaze fixed on mine. “I was a coward, Abbey. A complete idiot. I thought I was doing the right thing by letting you go. I thought if I pushed you away, I’d prove to myself I was okay without you. That I…” He licks his lips nervously. “That I don’t love you.”

“Jude…” I exhale, emotion tightening my throat.

“I’m scared, Abbey.” He cups my cheeks, his grip firm and resolute. “I’ve been scared since the moment I met you. Scared of how much I care. Scared of what it means if I let myself feel this way again.” His voice cracks and tears glisten in his eyes. “I lost everything once before. I thought… I thought if I let you in,I’d lose you too. So that day at the airport when you told me how you felt, I just… I couldn’t let you in. In my mind, if I made sure you got on that plane and walked out of my life, I’d be okay.”

“Are you?”

He chokes back a sob. “I’ve been anything but okay since I let you go. I thought I was protecting myself. I never wanted to feel what I did when we lost Aspen. I shut everyone out because I thought it would be easier. It only made things worse.”

He briefly looks to the ceiling, his vulnerability shining through. Then he returns his gaze to mine.

“Krista didn’t leave me,” he confesses. “I left her. Maybe not physically, but emotionally. The day before she filed for divorce, I found her in the nursery packing up Aspen’s things. She said she couldn’t live with that room taunting her. Instead of listening to her and giving her what she needed, I snapped. After that, I stopped living.”

His voice trembles, the heartache he’s done everything to bury for years spilling from him.

“And then you walked into my bar in that ridiculous wedding dress…”

I laugh through my tears, affection swelling in my chest.

“I knew nothing would ever be the same again.” He curves toward me, his mouth hovering over mine. “You brought me back to life with your ridiculous optimism. And I don’t want to go back anymore, Abbey. I’ve been living in that fear for so long, I didn’t know how to live any other way.” His voice drops to a whisper as he confesses, “Losing you is worse than any fear I’ve ever experienced. I’m done running. Done pretending. Done existing. I want this. Want us. Please tell me it’s not too late.”

With gentle fingers, he wipes away my tears. Then, without a single ounce of uncertainty or fear, he declares, “I love you.”

My heart races as I stare back at him, unable to formulate a single response. Everything I wanted to hear, everything he’sbeen too afraid to admit, is spilling from his lips. It’s the last thing I expected to happen today, on a random Wednesday in July.

“I know this is a lot for you to take in.” He steps away, pacing the small space in front of me. “And I don’t blame you if you have reservations, but I’m willing to do whatever it takes. I’m not asking you to walk away from this job. We’ll find a way to make it work. I’ll fly out here every weekend. Whatever you want.”

“But you hate the city.”

He stops in front of me. “I can’t truly hate it. Not if you’re here.”

“What if I want to come to Sycamore Falls?”

“We can make that work, too. Take turns. One weekend, I’ll come here. The next, you can come to me.”

“And if that’s not good enough?”

“I know I fucked up and I?—”

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