Page 33 of Chosen

Chapter Twenty-One

Truth

I liked the game that Siggy and I played. The back and forth was amusing and helped pass the time. I’d much rather have stayed and carried on, but alas, I had to face the music. His mother wanted an audience. While I was certain that she had been grateful earlier, I wasn’t so sure how she would feel now that the initial shock of it all had worn off.

I was still wearing my heavy robes. The ones that were for official matters, as Gisla had said. They were normally stuffy, but the day had a bit of a breeze, so I was thankful for it as I made my way outside. I rounded the garden entrance and found guards waiting. I gasped and stepped back causing one of their mouths to twitch toward a smile. I forced myself to be sensible. Of course, they weren’t there to detain me. I hadn’t done anything wrong. I glared at him and slowly passed between him and his partner.

“Your Grace,” I greeted as soon as I noticed Ava.

She was seated at a little table for two. There was tea and cookies waiting. I wasn’t a fan of either, but I still smiled like it was a treat when she waved toward them.

“Refreshments? I know I could hardly eat lunch. The excitement was just too much.” She placed her hand on her chest and a servant came forth and poured two cups of tea.

She went from absently holding her hand there to fidgeting with the pearls that draped from her neck.

“You know that Sigurd is my only son.” She ventured when I hadn’t said anything in response. “It means the world to me… that you saved him.”

She glanced toward me, and I absently looked back at her. I tended to get awkward when people thanked me. After almost two decades, I still wasn’t used to gratitude. When she kept staring at me, I tried my best to smile.

“You raised a good man.”

This time, it was her that smiled.

“Thank you for saying so, Tru… err… Princess Renata.” Ava meekly smiled. “I devoted my life to that boy.”

She covered her mouth like she’d misspoke. “Sven and Sig both get upset when I slip and call him a boy. In truth, he will always be my little boy. Whether he is nineteen summers or ninety-nine. It still won’t matter. I will always be his mother.”

“It is true. There is a special bond between a mother and her child.” I agreed, tilting my head a bit

I took my tea and welcomed the warmth it provided my fingers. I didn’t want to talk about children. I was probably twice Siggy’s age. Who knew if I could even have children? I’d never carried one before. It was possible that I wasn’t even able.

“I’m glad that we can be friends,” I spoke up because I wasn’t sure what else to say.

“Indeed. I would love to be your friend. You and Lita… I respect you both. You are women who have learned to forget and move forward.” A distant look came into her eye, and she paused and took a heavy breath. “I wish that I knew how to forget.”

“What would you choose to forget?” My curiosity got the best of me, and I blurted out the question rather gracelessly.

“It is true.” Ava lightly laughed. “I shouldn’t want to forget a moment of my life. Fate has been kind to me… and yet I struggle with sadness. I forever mourn the children that I lost after Siggy. Perhaps it is why I have always clung so tightly to him. I was afraid that he would slip away in the night like all the rest.”

My heart broke for her. I wanted to hug her. To squeeze the pieces of her spirit back together again, but I knew such displays would only make her uncomfortable, so I merely placed my hand on Queen Ava’s shoulder.

“I was never able to give Sven the children he deserved,” she whispered.

“Sven never really seemed to care about children the way that Ozias did. Ozias wanted an army of sons, but Sven just wanted to be famous. He wanted to raid and rut until he couldn’t move anymore. He is Viking, no matter how shiny his southern crown.” I laughed, recalling the words he had used many times.

Ava laughed, too, and I knew that everything was going to be okay between us.

“I’m sorry, perhaps I shouldn’t have said that,” I mused, before quietly continuing. “If the truth is to be told, I, too, have sadness about childbearing. I am no Spring chicken. This bird has a few years on her. Suppose I do not give him an heir, Ava? What then?”

She shook her head.

“God has placed you in his life for a reason, Princess Renata. You must believe it. I have told myself as much since the day your name was drawn. It was the only way that I could sleep some nights,” Ava admitted, then she sighed and smiled. “No matter your age, I know that you will be enough for my Siggy.”

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