Page 61 of Vow to Me

The elevator opens into the sitting room, where we find Marco casually leaning back in the chair, whiskey in hand while frowning at his phone. He glances up as we approach, and he shares a look with Enzo before getting up and going to the kitchen. He comes back a moment later with two empty glasses in hand before sitting back in his seat and pouring us both a glass of the whiskey that was left on his coffee table.

“Are we going to talk about it? Or are we going to mope?” Marco asks and it takes me by surprise. The last thing I expected Marco to do was initiate a conversation, especially aboutfeelings.

“I lost her,” I murmur, the words sending a pain through my heart, and I wish I could just fucking rip the fucking organ outof my chest and be done with the everlasting pain that’s coursing through me.

“Do you love her?”

“What sort of fucking question is that, Marco? Of course, I do. With fucking everything that I am.” I glare at him from across the room, but he remains unaffected as always. Always so fucking stoic, my brother.

“Then don’t give up. I know that if you could go back in time and change the course of events you would.I know.She’s hurt right now, she’s pissed, and she needs time to process everything that’s happened. You’ll regret giving up if you do…” he stares off into space, his mind taking someplace else. “You’ll regret it for the rest of your life,” he says and swallows the rest of the drink in his glass before closing his eyes and shaking his head. Why does it sound like he’s speaking from experience? I’ve never known my brother to have a girlfriend, or even a regular fuckbuddy, so why does it sound like he understands my pain? I’m about to ask him just that when Enzo subtly shakes his head from where he’s standing near the window, so I lean my head back on the sofa and stare up to the ceiling, wondering how and why the hell my brothers have kept it from me.

“Well, this is fucking depressing.” A voice sounds from behind me and my head snaps towards it. How the hell did I not hear the elevator?

“What the fuck are you doing here? I ask.

Alec smirks at my attitude and slumps down into the armchair next to mine. “Marco texted me as you arrived, inviting me tothe fucking pity party. You look like shit. Then again, your wife’s appearance wasn’t much better,” he says with a laugh, and it takes everything in me not to lunge myself at him and strangle the little fuck.

“What thefuckdo you mean by that? When have you seen Izzy?” I say through gritted teeth.

“Today. We had coffee together, we’re besties now,” he says with a wink and my control snaps. I jump to my feet and go to reach for the gun in my waistband but my brothers both grab me before I can grab it.Assholes.

“You can’t fucking shoot your best friend,” Marco says in my ear while I struggle to get out of their hold.

“Jesus, you’ve fucking lost it, man. I’ve worked with Izzy for two years. Granted, I didn’t know who she was, but she’s been killing herself lately trying to fix the wrongs of her father and I asked her to meet me so I could check up on her and try and talk her into taking a break. I like the girl, and I don’t want her working herself to the bone because of misplaced guilt. I also might have given her something that could help your case. So, chill the fuck out and sit the fuck back down,” Alec barks and I stop fighting against my brothers’ hold and give him a reluctant nod before they let me go and I sit back down.

“What did you give her?”

“A replica of the thumb drive that was sent to you,” he says, and I don’t know whether her having that is a fucking good thing or not. I’m not sure anything could help me at this point. I’m pretty sure I’ve lost her for good, and I’ve lost a part of myself in the process.

Istare at the headstone in front of me, the headstone that I haven’t visited in years because I’ve been too busy. Or more like I couldn’t face the fucking pain of coming back here.

Maria Romano

Loving wife and Mother

“Fight for those you love. Whether that’s beside them, for them or with them.”

Marco’s words from yesterday reminded me of the words our mother always used to say, she used to say that love is the most powerful thing in the world, and it can also cause the most devastation. I’m going to have to agree with her on that one, because of the pain that I’m feeling? Yeah… it's fucking devastation alright.

“Hey, Ma,” I whisper into the cold morning air. “I met her. My reason for living, I mean. But I fucked up and now I’ve lost her, and now I have no fucking idea what to do… How am I meant to live without the other half of my soul? You’d have loved her, Ma. You’d probably kick my ass for what I did to her, and I’d deserve it. I miss you and I wish you were here so you could help me through this, I’m sorry for not visiting more often, it just fucking hurts.” I close my eyes and breathe in the bitter cold air, allowing the cold to pierce my chest. “I love you.”

Chapter Forty-Five

Izzy

Once I finally managed to pick myself up off the floor, I showered and sat on the bed in the guest room Enzo assigned as mine before allowing myself to study the images Luca had been sent the day I was taken. I examined the images for hours, trying to understand what was going through Luca’s mind when he saw them.

I must admit, it does look bad. If I received something similar, would I really think any different?

I hardly slept last night, my thoughts running rampant, wondering whether me and Luca could ever really work. I’m sitting and working at the dining table when Enzo walks in the door. He didn’t come home last night, and I have no idea whether that’s normal for him or not.

“Hey, are you okay?” I ask, he appears hungover and like he could use a good shower before a six-hour nap.

“Been better,” he grunts as he opens the refrigerator and grabs a bottle of water before sitting down next to me and fiddling with the label on the bottle.

“You fucking stink Enzo, what the hell happened to you?”

“Marco’s whiskey happened sis. You should try it sometime,” he smirks but it falls flat. “How are you doing Iz? I know Luca was here yesterday, I found him in the hallway as I was coming home last night, and I ended up dragging him to Marco’s.”

---