Page 6 of Pretty Heartache

“Are you sure?”

Zipping up my makeup bag, I keep my focus on what I’m doing. Ruby is standing in the doorway of the tiny bathroom, and I need to reach my overnight bag in the common area of my trailer.

“Yes,” I say while I blink back the tears. “I just... I need to go.”

Simple and direct. It’s the truth. I don’t know what I plan on doing or where I’m going. I just know I need to keep moving.

“What?” She gasps. “Why? You have a photoshoot in two hours. Hair and makeup are waiting for you. You can’t leave.” I hear the panic in her voice, but I still don’t look up. I shield the side of my face from her as I push past, clutching onto my makeup bag. I know if I look at her, I’m going to fall apart. I’m going to allow reality to set in, and I won’t let it. At least not now. This isn’t the first time Maddox has hit me. The first time was last week, the day after he proposed to me.

I thought when he’d pushed me against the wall after an argument over where we were going to eat for dinner was going to be the one and only time. Apparently not.

Maddox has been my manager for a year, and my boyfriend all for a total of one month. For months, he spent his timeconvincing me to give him a chance. He wooed me. Our days were filled with endless flirting and him showering me with gifts—the diamond necklace being the latest in celebrating our one-month anniversary.

But it was all a ruse.

A ploy to control me.

I feel foolish. Duped. Conned. Embarrassed. And I can’t imagine what our lives will look like if we continue down the path we’re taking. How worse will he get? Will he turn out just like my father? I’ve lived through a life of abuse, and I refuse to stick around with Maddox to find out how the rest goes.

“Because…” I choke out, answering Ruby, swallowing the lump of regret threatening to claw its way out of me. “I just can’t do this anymore. At least not now.”

Once I’m past her and step into the tiny hallway, I make a sharp left and eye my bag sitting where I left it. Well, sort of. Now, the contents are spilled out, all the way from the table to the floor. Underwear, shirts, and pants are strewn about haphazardly. I blink away the vision of him hurling my bag at the wall before he charged toward me.

My teeth cut into my cheek until it stings. The sensation propels me to keep going. Shame slams into my gut for allowing my relationship with Maddox to get to this point.

“If you need to cancel this interview, I can reschedule with the crew,” Ruby blurts out, and I hear the fear in her voice. “I can find Maddox and?—”

“No!” The word falls from my mouth as sharp and fast as a bullet. I spin around to face her with my hands curled into tight fists at my sides. “Do not find Maddox.”

My sharp response is followed by an equally sharp gasp coming from Ruby’s lips. Her soft brown eyes immediately widen, and my stomach flips.

She brings her hand to her mouth before she reaches out to me. I shy away from her, not wanting to venture down this road. The one where she feels sympathy for me as if I’m some weak, broken woman.

I lift my hand and cover my cheek, as if it’ll take us back to ten seconds ago before she saw what Maddox has done to me.

“Adeline…” She frowns. “What happened?”

“Nothing. I—” I gently press my palm against my skin, then resume cleaning up my clothes, fisting each item and shoving them into my bag. “I don’t know.”

I truly don’t know. Flashes of the words Maddox spewed in my direction play in my mind. Every word and every touch he threw in my direction is like a pile of mixed puzzle pieces. None of the pieces fit, and I’m too distraught to try to put them together and make sense of it. All I feel in my gut is the need to get out of here, far away from Maddox, this trailer, and my life in Los Angeles. This isn’t me. This isn’t the life I wanted for myself. I’m better than this. At least I want to believe I am.

My dream to be a model and get out of my parents’ house has been a goal for as long as I can remember. But now, my modeling career is crumbling in front of me. How can I possibly stay here after what he’s done? How can I continue this career with him still in it, representing me?

Karma has come for me. I’ve always been in a rush to get on with my dream, never thinking about the price I might have to pay to get it. I’ve wanted to become a model since I was four years old. My first memory is sneaking into my mother’s closet and digging through her vanity. I found her favorite, crimson red lipstick, and sloppily swiped it across my mouth. I was smoothing it across my tiny lips for the hundredth time when she walked in, catching me red-handed. From then on, she was convinced I’d never let up on my dream to be just like her. Professionally, at least. If it weren’t for my mother’s insistenceon waiting until I was eighteen, I would have done everything I could to make it happen before then.

I’m silently cursing myself for allowing myself to get to this point, where my career is literally dissolving in front of me. I allowed myself to fall for my manager and his sweet words. Now, this relationship is costing me everything: my career, my physical health, my emotional health, my reputation.

Once I have all my belongings shoved into my bag, I zip it shut and leave it on the table to gather the rest of my things from the bathroom. I wind the cord around the base of my curling iron and feel my assistant behind me. My chest vibrates, and I know my body is crashing from the adrenaline. For the past ten minutes, I’ve been running on autopilot, not allowing my situation to sink in. I’m in fight or flight mode, quietly deciding to fly.

I feel Ruby’s eyes burning a hole on my back. With a shuddering breath, I finally gather the strength and courage to look up.

My eyes meet hers in the reflection as she moves to stand beside me. Her soft, beautiful face gives me comfort when inside, I feel broken.

Not broken for ending my relationship.

I’m broken at the fact I’ve allowed him to manipulate me and my career. I’ve lost out on this key photoshoot opportunity. Even if this one wasn’t for a major publication, it was publicity. Publicity I desperately need. I’ve been a model since the day I turned eighteen. It’s been three years since my first magazine featured photoshoot, but every day has been a struggle to be seen. Days turned into weeks spent jumping from one job interview to the next. I didn’t want to ride on the trail my mother left behind or rely on my name to push me through my career. I wanted my talent to propel me, but it’s impossible when you fall for someone whose sole mission is to hold you back.

I thought what Maddox held for me was love, but this isn’t love. It never has been.

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