Page 56 of Mine

“Lena.” His interjection saves me. He lifts his head slowly, his eyes full of regret. “Before you start, I want to apologize. I should have told you what Natalie did. By not telling you, it may it seem like I don’t trust you and I do. You’re my wife.” He plays with the ring on his fourth finger, twisting the black metal with his fingertips. I swallow, feeling the weight of what the ring symbolizes. “You’re the only person in this world that I trust withmywhole world.” he continues. “I know you shoulder a lot of guilt for what happened with Julian. You’ve told me before. I was weak, afraid to put any more burdens on you.”

A tear slips from my eye, sliding down my cheek. It feels as if I’ve been crying forever, surprised there’s any more left in me to be shed.

“Logan, I’m sorry.” I wring my fingers together like I had last night at Abby’s. My knuckles blush with white. The secrets are there, pushing on the door, ready to open. “Everything you just said is true.Ishould have trusted you. The street goes both ways. I should have trusted you enough to listen.”

He sits up, turning in his seat. His knees press against mine and my stomach dips. He may be my husband, but he still has the skill to swiftly create butterflies in my stomach. They rage and beat against my empty stomach.

“I promise to never keep secrets from you ever again,” he vows.

“I promise, too.” I tilt my head to the side, studying his face. His eyes soften, love for me swirling in them. It’s as if the past year has been laid out on the table, Logan and I unloading our secrets, casting ourselves out of the darkness that has divided us for so long.

Sitting up, Logan leans over me, resting his hands on the arms of my chair. He dips his head, pressing his lips to mine. I close my eyes, savoring the way his smooth lips feel against mine. The smell of cedar and pine floats around me. Logan is my home. My security. The only man I ever want to be with.

Our kiss lingers. He moves his lips, parting them far enough to slide his tongue out. I part my lips, allowing him access. He slides his tongue around mine, tasting me. Every kiss and every touch is a tattooed promise, forever scoring my heart.

I lift my hand, gripping on to the fabric of his shirt that’s hanging away from his body, pulling him closer. His hot breath lands against my skin as he lets out a small laugh, reverberating from his chest. I don’t want him to pull away. I want to stay like this forever. When he finally does break our kiss, I feel the absence of him immediately. He returns to his chair beside me.

Logan smirks, the corner of his blushed lips curling. He holds my hand in his, wrapping it around mine like a cage. “I want you to know you can trust me with whatever you’re going through. I don’t want you to feel like you have to hide from me, Lena.”

I inhale a shaky breath and nod. Now was the time for me to tell him about my suspicions of Julian’s return. “Those pictures weren’t the first email.”

“What do you mean?” Logan sits up, straightening his back. His eyebrows arch across his forehead.

“I’ve been getting these emails for a while now. The first one came in after Abby and I surprised you for lunch, the day she took me to her new office building. The second came after the night we had dinner with Abby and Max.” I slide my phone from my shorts, opening the emails. “I think it’s Julian.”

Logan’s eyes dart between me and my phone. He gently grabs it, reading each one. “Fuck,” he mutters under his breath. When he looks up, his eyebrows knit with concern. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

A part of me is relieved he isn’t angry with me for keeping this from him. But guilt rises, remembering the reason why I’d kept it from him in the first place. My discretion had come from a place of selfishness and remorse.

“I was afraid that if I told you, you’d want to leave Seattle.” Logan lifts his hand, cupping my cheek with his hand. His fingers thread through my hair, electricity shooting straight through me. “Julian nearly took your life once before and it was all because of me. Then he broke into your apartment and left the note and T-shirt. I was terrified and I get it, instinct kicked in for you. You wanted to leave Providence so quickly when we found the note, I was afraid you would do the same. You’re so happy here. You’ve worked hard to get where you’re at with Bistro and I couldn’t bring myself to give you a reason to lose it all. I couldn’t be the reason you changed your life for me. Not again.”

“Lena. Look at me.” He nudges me with his hand still on my face, forcing me to stare into his eyes. “Leaving Providence was the hardest decision I ever had to make. But it was also the easiest. If I had to do it all over again, I would. But if you had told me that you wanted to stay here in Seattle, I wouldn’t have argued. Don’t ever feel like you’re a burden to me. I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you. I wouldn’t be the man I am today without you. We’ve built this life of ours. No matter how messy it may get, we’re in this together. I realize we can’t keep running forever and I understand why you were hesitant to tell me.”

I nod, my body relaxing. It’s as if I’ve opened the flood gates. All the worry, all the doubt, and all the anger are simply gone. Despite telling Logan about the emails, I know I’m still leaving out another detail.

“The emails aren’t the only signs I’ve been getting that Julian is back.”

Logan leans his head to the side, concern in his expression. He holds his breath.

“That day I went for the meeting with Candace and you asked if I had come home early, I didn’t. I was still in Tacoma when the security system was used. That’s why I had you change the code.”

Logan stands up out of his chair. He raises his arms, placing his hands on his head. His shirt rises, exposing the planes of his waist, his muscles carved into a deep ‘v’. Using his hands, he slides his hair back, moving it out of his face. He spins in a circle, releasing a heavy breath.

I shake my head, swallowing back my emotions. “I’m so sorry, Logan. I really should have told you.”

“No.” He holds his hand out, focusing on the back yard. His back is turned toward me, shielding his face from me. “I asked you to tell me everything. I just need a moment to process this.”

“Okay.” I lean back in my seat, breathing in the morning air. It’s still early, dew still dotted along the grass.

Logan stays standing in silence for a few moments and I stay seated. After last night, I thought Logan would be furious to know I’d kept this from him. Instead, he remains calm. Finally, he decides to turn back around, his hands resting on his hips.

“There’s something I need to tell you, too.”

I sit up in my chair, my back peeling off the metal. Shit, we had more secrets between us than I was aware of.

“I think someone has been following me too. I mean...” He scratches the scruff lining his jaw. “I’ve had this feeling. I can’t explain it. I haven’t seen Julian but it’s like he’s hiding in the shadows. I felt it the day I was at the Market with Natalie. I think that’s how those pictures were taken. He’s trying to make it look like I’m having an affair.”

“That makes sense.” I swallow my uncertain feelings about Natalie, pushing my jealousy aside. Logan wasn’t having an affair; I knew it deep in my bones.

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