Page 9 of King of the Unsightly

I scraped the remnant of its body off my boot and shook the putrid-smelling goo off it. I squirmed at the realization I had smacked a massive spider to death.

So, two witch ladies, talking crows, some Legolas-looking motherfucker, and now pixie creatures?

I was well past insanity. I couldn’t tell what or who was real even if it bit me on the ass.

A male pixie hovered at my side. A white cap in the form of a rose rested on his head as he wore junipers and a frilled, gold-laced, black tunic. Bunched-up bodies hugging and crying tears of joy stood behind him. I assumed they were pixies. Tiny bodies and little wings—what else could they be?

The forest-green pixie bowed before me. His big, pitch-black eyes blinked at me. “My people and I are forever in your debt.” He rose and clapped his hands and my whole attire changed in an instant. “You are an honored guest. We feast tonight for our victory!”

I was stunned as the weight of my clothes left my body and soft and airy fabric replaced them. My black jeans and T-shirt morphed into a light pink, baby doll dress with puffy sleeves and ruffles. My world went dark as something obstructed my view.

A flower crown materialized on top of my head, and it matched the cap of the male pixie in front of me.

All right, this was about as far as I could manage without losing all my marbles. I looked like a pink princess who had an unhealthy obsession with balloon sleeves.

I stepped backward again. “Thank you for your generosity but I need to get back home.”

“Let us discuss the details over the feast. We musthonoryou,” the tiny pixie grinned, and he was oddly cute except for his dagger-like teeth. Those were a little frightening.

“No, no I can’t.”

Retracing my steps as they swarmed me, I slipped and fell; the density of the air thickened as a weird sensation vibrated throughout my body. I couldn’t breathe as my world went dark.

I crashed stomach first onto the ground, rolled onto my back, and coughed.

I laid in the middle of the road not really grasping my reality until I looked down and saw the pink, frilled dress still clung to my body.

This was not how I wanted to spend my birthday.

Uninvited Guest

Highway S50 went on and on, but no headlights from either direction.Cool. Why would I hitch a ride from a stranger, especially past midnight in a pink fluffy dress? The fact I couldn’t call for help was what sucked; my phone died when I ran from my apartment.

The sign glaring above me read the nearest gas station was five miles away, but it didn’t help me one bit. I was mentally kicking myself for not memorizing someone else’s number besides Jared’s when I had the time.

Clicking came from behind me, and I whipped my head around and assessed my surroundings.

Sequoias towered over me like skyscrapers as overgrown ferns littered the forest floor; I couldn’t see anything at all.

“It will be back,” a croaky voice called out.

Another one chimed in, “She will be back.”

“Yes, yes.”

I snapped my head up and the murder of crows with black beady eyes stood in the middle of the highway, rubbernecking like I had grown a third arm.

For once in my life, I was happy to see them.

I sighed. “Oh, thank god.”

They all craned their heads and uttered the same words as if functioning like a hive mind. “God has nothing to do with us, Adeline.”

A chill ran down my back. My relief vanished and my anxiety intensified.

If I had imagined this whole shit show of a night then I really belonged in a madhouse. But seeing as I still wore the dress, I couldn’t deny the truth any longer.

“Why are you following me again?” I asked, rubbing my temples, so done with this whole ordeal. Wait. They did say something about a key last time. Were they really after it too?

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