Page 77 of Warrior's Walk

The roar of the engine is deafening, barely muted by the headphones. My stomach flips with the increase in altitude, something I haven’t felt in a long time. Too long. Goddamn, I’ve missed this.

“I’m glad I could give it back to you.”

Shit, I said that out loud? I give Rand a thumbs up and he smiles beautifully and points out his window. I have to lean over his lap to see. The Blue Ridge Mountains stand tall and proud, spread out like a blue-gray blanket over thousands of miles. Puffs of white smoke billow into the thin air.

His voice tickles my ear. “You should see it from this height in the Fall.”

“Can’t wait.”

By the time we land, my cheeks are rosy and sore, and my perma-grin’s gonna last all day, no matter what happens. I’m exactly where I’m meant to be.I’m home.

Rand goes on about my PPL license for private pilots, logging flight hours, and how next year I’ll be ready for my commercial license and working toward my flight instructor certification. His words rush by like wind at gale force speeds, which is exactlyhow fast my head is spinning, but I’m totally on board with whatever he has planned.

If I can’t jump, I’m gonna fly.

Like he said, I belong in the air.

The Footlocker is exactly how I remember it—nothing about this bar has changed in the time I’ve been gone. In fact, everything about Fayetteville looks the same. No new construction, nothing went out of business, just the same old, same old, different day. It’s bizarre because I feel as ifeverythinghas changed for me, almost as if I’m becoming a different person.

My priorities have shifted. Whereas I used to live for the moment, the next thrill, taking life day by day, I now see the bigger picture. I never imagined I would fall for a man. Hooking up with them, definitely, but always on the down low, never out in the open. No longer am I a soldier trained to take orders instead of thinking for himself, trained to jump on command. I’m now learning to fly, to soar above the clouds and pilot my own plane, to chart my own destiny.

I feel like the world is wide open and full of possibilities. It’s a little scary, but for an adrenaline junkie like me, it’s thrilling.

My first thought when I stepped off the plane, still high from the rush, was to drive four hours to Fayetteville and tell my best friends, my brothers. If anyone can understand, it’s them. They still have what I lost, and they know how much I loved it, what being in the 82nd meant to me. Airborne was my whole life, and when I lost that, I lost everything. I felt like my life was over. I couldn’t imagine there was another path waiting to be discovered.

“Marsh! Get your ass over here,” Ormen shouts across the bar when he spots me.

They’ve already bought the first round and my glass is waiting by the empty chair beside Warren. “You won’t believe what I did today.”

“Jacked your cock?”

“Stubbed your toe?”

“Joined the Peace Corps?”

“You’re all way off base. I flew in a Cessna. I’m getting my pilot’s license! In the meantime, I’ll be working at the flight school, packing chutes and booking appointments.” My face stretches into a perma-grin just talking about it.

Villaro laughs. “A jump instructor who doesn’t jump?”

“Fuck off,” I snort, showing him my middle finger.

Warren claps my back. “That’s awesome, man. Can’t wait to go up with you.”

The conversation turns back to Army life, to the unit and barracks drama, and I listen with a smile, but I’ve got nothing to contribute because that’s not my life anymore.

Riggs’s words come back to haunt me.‘Life will go on without you, and you’ll be watching from an outsider’s perspective, and every time they mention anything to do with the Army, you’ll feel bitter and resentful.’

Fuck, I hate it when he’s right. Except I don’t feel bitter, just sort of lonely and sad that this isn’t my life anymore, and that they aren’t a part of my new life, my new friends, and that I still haven’t told them I’m falling for Riggs.

Brian died with his secret, but I don’t want to be that guy that dies with regrets. I want to live, I want to love, and I want to do it out loud.

“Hey, listen up. I got somethin’ I wanna say.” All heads turn to me as the conversation dies. My stomach solidifies into granite. I think I might be sick before I can even spit the wordsout. “I’m bisexual,” I blurt, my heart pulsating in my throat. “I like girls and guys.”

“I think we know what it means, genius,” Ormen replies.

“Well, what you don’t know is that I’m dating a guy. His name is Riggs. Navarro Riggs.”

Warren asks, “That therapist from the gym? The one that wouldn’t help you on your feet?”

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