Page 11 of The Game Changer

“Only the best.” Madison beams.

“These girls have got some wicked gas power. I’ve been amazed at some of the noises and smells that they can produce,” Richard tells me as he starts to wrap up this baby the same way he did the other. I’ve already forgotten what one was which. I’m sure they can tell them apart, but I’m lost when it comes to that.

“Okay, I’m ready for you to dish,” Madison says as Richard heads down the hall with the already sleeping baby in his arms.

“I had another appointment with my neurologist, and it didn’t go well. He wants me to retire,” I tell her, and go on to give her and Richard, once he returns to the living room, all the details from my appointment. I also tell them about the episodes I’ve been having, including the one when I left the office yesterday and how Jill helped me.

“I know it isn’t what you want, but I have to agree with the doctor,” Richard tells me. “I had some minor injuries a few years before I retired that had me really considering retiring then, so I know somewhat what you’re going through with the should-I-shouldn’t-I debate. Obviously, mine wasn’t as serious, and I was able to go on and play for another few seasons, but with your brain at stake, I think you need to listen to the doc.”

“I know, and I’m starting to come to terms with it. I wanted to get any info or insight from you,” I say, motioning to Madison, “as an agent before I call mine back up and tell him what I want to do and to start talks with management over ending my contract.”

“I’m sure that he’ll do everything he can to benefit you. You’ve got what, one year left on your contract?” she asks.

“Yep,” I confirm.

“They may choose to just pay you out upfront, but they might also decide to pay you out over the course of the remaining months. No matter what way they go about it, it’s still a hit to the cap.”

“I figured as much, and I guess I don’t really care what way they choose to go. I guess if they pay it all out this year, that might create a tax nightmare for me.”

“It definitely will create a tax liability, so it would be a good idea to talk to your financial advisor and get their take on things when you’re in negotiations with the team. Your agent should also be looking at those kinds of things, as well,” she tells me.

“Thanks, I know I need to just make the call, but it pains me to think that everything I worked so damn hard for over the last thirty-plus years is just done and gone.”

“It’s a tough pill to swallow, that’s for sure, and even more of one since it isn’t on your own terms. But look at all the positives—you’ve had a great career, won the cup multiple times, won multiple awards, played on the Olympic team, and won Gold. Not too many people can claim even half of those things.” Madison reiterates my accomplishments.

“I know, and I’m not trying to diminish what I’ve accomplished, just sucks ass to end on such a bad note. Almost casts a shadow over everything, in a way.”

“Only if you let it. But think of what you can turn around and do with your platform to help keep future players from dealing with the exact same outcome you are dealing with. You could use your position to educate young players on why safety measures and protocols have come so far in the sport and how they still need to get better as we progress on. I really think that you can turn this around and use it for the betterment of the sport,” Richard tells me.

“I hadn’t thought of that angle,” I tell him honestly. “It isn’t like people don’t know that I was taken out with a concussion in the playoffs, so it would be an easy transition.” I mull over his suggestion, knowing that it is definitely something that would be an important cause to me, and that brings back Jill’s idea of finding a significant cause for me to focus my time and energy on. I’ll have to remember to bring it up to her tonight over dinner.

We continue our visit while the babies take their naps, waking up about ninety minutes later. Observing my friends as they take care of their girls, I realize just how well they’ve adjusted to being parents to twin girls. Having a few months under their belts now, things appear to come pretty naturally to them as I observe both of them take care of the girls. I’ve never really wanted for a family of my own, always focusing on playing and being as game-ready as I could be, but now that I know hockey will no longer be my life, I can see the appeal to having someone to come home to every night and maybe a kid or two of my own.

“You’re getting this dad thing down,” I tell Richard as he expertly changes one of the girls right in front of me.

“Yep, amazing how quickly things changed around here.” He chuckles. “They might be little, but they sure do rule our lives these days, but I wouldn’t change it for anything,” he tells me, holding up the baby before blowing a raspberry against her cheek, causing her to giggle and blow some spit bubbles. I realize just how much the girls have already changed in the few short months since they were born.

“How old are they now?” I ask.

“Just turned four months old this week,” he tells me. “Some days, it feels like they’ve been here for a year, and some days it feels like just yesterday we were bringing them home from the hospital,” he says, blowing another raspberry on her cheek. “We’ve had many sleepless nights and zombie-filled days, but it’s been worth every single one.”

“Ok, I gotta ask, but how in the hell do you tell them apart?” My question must be one they get a lot, but it still causes Richard to laugh.

“Easy, they actually don’t look all that alike. They’re fraternal, not identical twins, so that’s helpful, but this, here, is Sophia. She’s got lighter blond hair and has her mother’s nose, while Courtney over there has slightly darker hair like her momma, and was blessed with my nose,” he tells me.

“I’ll have to try and remember that,” I tell him.

“You want to hold Sophia?” he asks, holding her out to me. I nervously take her from his arms, a little surprised at how strong her body is. I can’t really recall the last time I held a baby this small. I’m occasionally around some of my teammates’ kids, but I don’t usually ever hold them, and my nephew is a tad bit bigger than these little ones.

“You need one of your own,” Madison says as she walks by, Courtney in her arms.

“That would require a wife or girlfriend first,” I deadpan.

“Well, yes, that would make things a little easier,” she laughs. “So get on with that part,” she encourages.

“Maybe,” I grunt, and the baby in my arms lets out a shriek that damn near pierces my eardrum. “Fuc…fudge,” I catch myself from cussing. “You are one loud little girl,” I say to Sophia.

“What about Jill? From what you were saying earlier, it sounds like things could potentially become a thing,” Madison questions.

---