Page 19 of Sex, Love & Lingerie

CHAPTER 12

Kevin

Gloria didn’t know it, but I was a fucking crybaby. I loved her more than life itself. We were connected. Almost one. If something happened to her, something happened to me. If she died, I died. That’s the way we were.

Seeing her hooked up to all those tubes and monitors, teetering between life and death, had gutted me. Inside I was falling apart. I knew what her husband Jaime was going through. Glorious and I had been together through thick and thin forever and now forever vacillated in thin air.

Cedar’s Neonatal Intensive Care Unit was on the fourth floor of the Saperstein Tower. I stepped into the elevator with a petite older couple who were holding hands. They looked Latino. Distress was etched on their faces and the swarthy woman’s dark eyes were as bloodshot as mine. She’d obviously been crying. Perhaps, they’d lost a loved one. But when they pushed the button of the neonatal care floor, I knew they were headed to the same destination as me. And then the woman burst into a round of tears and cried out, “Dios mío!” Her husband comforted her and then turned to me.

“Señor, forgive my wife. Por favor. We may lose our first grandchild. He was born with a heart defect.” Though his saddened voice was accented, he spoke perfect English.

“I’m sorry to hear that,” I replied, my voice shaky. The elevator arrived at our designated floor, saving me from having to say more. Truthfully, I didn’t know what to say. The doors parted, and I let the despondent couple exit first. I followed behind them.

The NICU was a state-of-the art facility with forty-five portable beds in four areas, providing varying levels of care depending if the infant was critically ill, premature, or just under close observation. While the couple was shown to one area, I was escorted to another where newborns were under close observation.

“I’m Payton and Paulette Zander’s godfather,” I told the jovial black nurse whose name was Kashunna.

A wide smile flashed on her face. “Sugar, let me tell you they’re the most beautiful babies I’ve ever seen. And trust me, I’ve seen many.”

My spirits brightened as she led me to the observation window. “Are they doing okay?” Anxiousness crept into my voice.

“They’re doing amazing. And they’re such a good size, too, given they were born a month early. Both a little over four pounds.”

Four pounds?Ray’s sister’s baby was born at seven and he was so tiny.

“Here we are,” said the nurse as we approached the window.

I put my face against the glass and my spirits sunk again. About a dozen tiny babies in their little portable beds were hooked up to IVs and monitors just like Gloria.

“But I thought you said they were okay. Why do they have so many gizmos attached to them?”

“It’s normal. We’re just monitoring them.”

She sounded sincere, so I believed her. “Which ones are Payton and Paulette?”

“I’m going to show you.”

Wait a sec. What was she saying?

I watched as she slipped on a surgical mask and a pair of latex gloves. “Now, don’t you move. I’ll be right back.”

In a blink, she was inside the observation room, conferring with another nurse. Heading over to a counter, she opened a drawer and slipped a few things into the pocket of her pink smock. Her back was turned to me so I wasn’t sure what they were. She then pivoted and ambled back to the door. I cranked my head as she stepped outside the observation room.

“I’m baa-ack,” she crooned.

“I thought you were going to show me the Zander babies.”

She winked. “Now, don’t tell me you’ve never heard of the expression, patience has its virtues?”

I had, but patience was definitely not one of my virtues. And it had fucked me up more than once in my life. Acting impulsively had almost cost me my life—and Gloria’s.

Forcing the beginnings of dark thoughts to the back of my mind, I watched as Kashunna dipped her hand into a deep pocket and pulled out a mask and pair of gloves identical to hers. She handed them to me.

“Just put these on and follow me.”

I hastily donned the items.

Beneath her mask, I could see the outline of a wide smile. “Sugar, you look good in anything. Are you a model or something?”

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