Page 84 of Endless Love

FORTY

Ryan

From the minute Willow fled my loft, I felt like my life had become a ticking time bomb. Over dinner at her father’s deli, she told me her plans. She was going to rejoin Gustave’s ballet troupe and resume her dance career. Upon hearing this news, rage pummeled through me. A huge fight erupted.

“No fucking way!” I yelled at her.

“Please, Ryan, try to understand.”

“I get it. You’ve chosen him over me.”

“No, Ry-man, it has nothing to do with him. It has everything to do with me.”

“Bullshit. You’re fucking obsessed with him.”

This is how the conversation bounced back and forth. My rage rising with each harsh breath. Before we ended our relationship right then and there—and I combusted—we reluctantly agreed on a next step. Something I’d resisted. Couples therapy.

“So, what brings the two of you here?” asked Dr. Goodman, adjusting his glasses on his nose. He was sitting in a leather armchair facing Willow and me, the two of us seated on the couch. Though we were sitting side by side, it felt like miles separated us. The tension between us was so thick a knife couldn’t cut through it.

“We have a major problem.” We blurted out the words together.

Dr. Goodman’s brows lifted. “And that might be…”

Willow and I exchanged a glance. Who should answer?

I jumped in. “Willow wants to go to Paris and pursue her career as a ballet dancer.”

Dr. Goodman’s impassive reaction to the news floored me. He simply folded his hands in his lap. My body tensed as Willow spoke up.

“I’ve asked him to come with me.”

Our shrink’s gaze stayed on us as he asked calmly: “Ryan, why is that a problem?”

Jesus fucking Christ. After all these years in therapy, did he not have a clue? Time to inform him.

“Seriously, Doc?” My voice rose with anger as I grasped at the roots of my hair in frustration. “It’s where Allee spent her last days on earth and turned to dust. I can never go back there.”

“It’s the City of Love…the City of Lights,” he responded, his voice even-keeled.

“Are you kidding? For me it’s the City of Death. The City of Gloom.”

The doctor stroked his beard. “I see.”

I see.Is that all he could say? What part of this fucked-up situation wasn’t he getting? I searched my mind and then spit out, “I don’t understand why Willow has to do this.”

Dr. Goodman looked at Willow. “Willow, can you explain your reason.”

She gave him the same reasons she’d given me. That ballet was in her blood; dance was calling her. It was the opportunity of a lifetime.

“But, there are other companies you can join,” I protested. “What about the New York City Ballet?”

“The NYCB rejected me. I wasn’t good enough for them.”

“Audition for them again!”

“It doesn’t work that way. I’m too old to do that.”

Desperation rose in my chest and I took another tactic. “Doc, how can you let her go back to that monster—”

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