Page 30 of Endless Love

“I don’t know. There’s an emptiness in my heart that’s eating at me, but I don’t know if I’m ready.” My voice grew small again. “Dr. Goodman, am I?”

Dr. Goodman lifted his glasses to the top of his head and pinched the bridge of his nose. He did that out of habit whenever he didn’t have a clear-cut answer. Generally, whenever that happened, he responded to my question with another question. Sure enough…

“What do you think?”

“I don’t know. I’m scared.” My final months with the Royal Latvia Ballet whipped around my mind like a wicked rollercoaster. The ups. The downs. My final free-fall from the stage after Gustave’s betrayal. My wasted body. My wasted life. My head pounded. Trying to assuage the pain, I squeezed my eyes shut and pressed my temples with my forefingers.

“Willow, take a couple of deep breaths.”

I did as the good doctor asked, inhaling and exhaling sharply through my nose. My mind calmed down as he continued.

“You know, Willow, there are other ballet companies.”

He was trying to say I shouldn’t go back to Gustave. But the truth was he was my master and always would be. After all the other company directors had rejected me, he was the one who’d cherry-picked me. The one who had driven me to new heights. The one who believed in me. Saw in me what no one else had. Okay, I’d fucked things up. I’d gotten involved with him. Let him fuck my brains out. But I was better now. Physically stronger. More in control of myself. And there was someone else…

As if Dr. Goodman had read my mind, he stroked his beard again and said, “Willow, let’s talk a little more about your relationship with Ryan before our session ends.”

This time, at the mention of his name, my heart skipped a beat and my body heated. I squirmed in my chair.

“What do you want to know?”

“How do you feel about him?”

I couldn’t deny my feelings. “I like him a lot.” Okay, I wasn’t totally being honest. I more than liked him a lot. I was crazy about him. Insanely attracted to him both emotionally and physically. “I feel bad about Friday night. I haven’t returned any of his phone calls.”

“Why is that?”

“I just couldn’t talk to him.”

“Understandable.” Dr. Goodman lowered his glasses back on his nose. “Do you want to see him again?”

My lips twisting, I squirmed again in my chair. “Yes. But I don’t think he’ll want to. I’m too fucked up. I’m not what he needs.”

“Willow, why do you say those things? You’re a beautiful, bright, young woman with the whole world at your fingertips.”

Swallowing hard, I processed his words. I obviously still had major self-esteem issues, or at least, I’d regressed.

“I honestly don’t think he’ll ask me out again.”

A wry smile flashed on Dr. Goodman’s face. “I think he will.”

My brows lifted. “How do you know that?”

His smile widening, he pointed a knowing finger at me. “Because, my dear, I’m going to make him. He’s going to invite you to his place for dinner.”

And with that and my hopeful heart in my throat, our session ended.

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