“Okay, okay.”
“And buy yourself a pack of condoms.”
Duffy ordered another round of beers. I guzzled mine. The cold beverage seeped through my veins while a beautiful girl named Willow danced in my head.
My downtown loft was not far from the pub. I walked home. The buzz I got from the beer mixed nicely with the crisp autumn air. I wrapped my cashmere scarf, a gift from Allee, around my neck to shield myself from the wind.
When I got home, it was always the same. I came home to the ghost of Allee. As soon as I stepped out from the elevator that took me to my loft, a former millinery factory, I saw her curled up on the leather couch she favored, reading one of her art books. Her dark hair gathered up in a high ponytail, her espresso bean eyes meeting mine, already undressing me in my mind’s eye. I always imagined her beautiful and radiant, not the faded beauty she had become when she got sick. There were photographs of her everywhere.
“Hi, baby.”
“Hi, Madewell. Where’ve you been?”
“Just down the street at a pub. Hanging with Duff.”
“That’s good. You need to get out more, Golden Boy.”
“It’s hard.”
“I betch’ya it can’t be that hard.”So Allee-like. “Did’ya meet someone?
I cringed as if she had caught me cheating.
“You look different.”
My perceptive Allee. Always the voice of reason. Never one to hold back.
My cock stiffened. My balls ached. Fuck. When was it going to stop? I could taste her, smell her, feel her. My shrink told me I needed to move. Get a new place. A new bed. A new life. I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. I wanted to stay connected to her anyway I could.
I blinked my eyes, and when I opened them, like magic, she was gone. Once again I felt so alone in my vast loft. Trudging to the kitchen, I checked my phone messages before winding up the spiral stairs to our bedroom. I shucked my clothes, putting on some pajama bottoms and a T-shirt. I did my normal bathroom routine and then hopped into bed. The beautiful antique four-poster bed that I shared with the love of my life. Usually, I did a little reading before I went to sleep, but tonight I wasn’t in the mood. Besides, I needed a good night’s rest. Tomorrow morning I had an interview on Good Morning America, so I had to be up bright and early.
No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t fall asleep. My cock was throbbing. I needed relief. My eyes shut, I slipped my hand under the duvet and began jerking myself off. Harder. Faster. I imagined her long, limber fingers around my shaft, her warm breath heating my cheeks. The ends of her long hair dancing on my flesh. My breathing grew ragged. I was heading fast and furiously toward an orgasm. With a shudder, I exploded, spurting hot cum all over my hand. Still breathing heavily, I opened my eyes halfway. In the shadows of the night was the image of a beautiful girl. She had flaming red hair and glittering green eyes. Willow!