Page 276 of Naughty Nelle

Suddenly, The Prince pulls away. I feel like I’ve been catapulted out of a dream. My head is spinning, my body throbbing.

Gallant lowers his eyes and steps back. “I could not help myself. Please forgive me, Jane, if I have offended your honor or dignity.”

Offended me?I’ve just kissed the husband of the woman I tried to murder! My stepdaughter. Gallant’s wife. SNOW WHITE!

I spend the rest of the morning pacing the castle in a state of total panic. My lungs are burning; my stomach’s churning, and my head is whirling. I should be working on last minute ball preparations, but I’m too distraught from my shocking discovery. It’s all I can think about.

Why didn’t I figure it out? I should have known that The Prince’s late wife was Snow White. I mean, the clues were in my face. Right there in front of me!

Clue #1:Calla’s snow white skin; A dead give away; no pun intended.

Clue #2:Calla’s red velvet bow. They’re probably a dime a dozen, but still.

Clue #3:That despicable Huntsman showing up all the time. A coincidence? Not!

Clue #4:Those damn dwarfs. No wonder, they worked for The King.

Clue #5:That unforgettable night when The Prince, drunk out of his mind, called me Branch. Now, I know what he was trying to say—Blanche, French for white. Damn it! I wish my French didn’t suck.

Clue #6:The cottage-y feel of the Prince’s castle. Okay, it wasn’t giveaway, but still a clue.

Clue #7:The unfinished portrait. I should have recognized the outline of Snow White’s signature cloak and bow.

Clue #8:Marcella’s obsessive collection of old fairy-tale tabloids; they must be filled with Snow White gossip. Of course, she’d want to know everything about The Prince’s #1 wife. What #2 wife wouldn’t?

Clue #9:One of the most obvious clues of all. No RSVP to the ball from Snow White. Dead people don’t do balls.

Clue #10:My stupid-ass looking glass. No wonder, my “magic” mirror didn’t mention Snow White’s name in the dumpster. Duh! She was history!

And, of course, only her gorgeous little daughter Calla Rose could take her place. How could I be so stupid? So clueless? So totally clueless? If only in the dumpster, for that one time only, my mirror had been magic. It could have said something, and I wouldn’t be in this horrible, horrible mess.

Questions pummel me like rocks, each one coming harder at me than the one before. What am I going to do? How can I stay possibly stay here? What am I going to tell The Prince? And Calla? Oh, by the way, sweet girl, I forgot to tell you that I despised your mother and tried to kill her. Not once. But three times. Actually, four times if you count The Huntsman. Oh and do you want to hear something else? I kissed your Papa today! And guess what! I liked it!

Who am I kidding? I more than liked it! It wasn’t me who pulled away! Oh God, why did I have to run into The Prince this morning? Why did Shrink make me work at this castle? Why did I have to do rehab at Faraway? The Huntsman should have let me rot in that dungeon or done me in when he had the chance. None of this would have ever happened. None of it! This wasn’t meant to be!

I’m an emotional wreck. I desperately need to talk to someone. Someone who can help me navigate my way through this miserable maze of confusion, guilt, and shame. “Oh, Gallant, I’ve got a little confession to make…” No, NOT The Prince! I need someone like Shrink who could listen with her “third ear” and offer me advice.

What’s the point of dreaming? It’s futile. There’s no one I can talk to. No one. I’ve got to get my mind off what’s happened. “Hard work makes strong minds,” the Badass Fairies preached at Faraway. I compulsively start straightening and polishing everything in sight. When I glance down at the polished surfaces, I see my reflection. My evil self! Aagh! I try a couple of bars of “lalalala.” That’ll cheer me up. Forget it. I know. I’ll try meditating. Perhaps, if I can silence my mind, I can…

“JAAAANE!” My meditation is shattered by Marcella’s shrill scream. Still sitting cross-legged on the floor, I pop open my eyes and find her looming above me.

“Where’s my ball gown?” she snaps. “And what are you doing in that ridiculous position?”

Oh no! I’ve totally forgotten about Marcella’s gown. I’ve got to get to The Trove before it closes and pick it up from Emperor Armando.

The Trove! A glimmer of hope flashes before me. Yes! I’ll talk to Winnie and Elz. They’ll know what to do.

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