Page 249 of Naughty Nelle

Dinner is just Calla and me. Gallant’s gone to his meeting with his father, and Marcella still hasn’t left her room. All Calla wants to talk about is her birthday. A mixture of guilt and anxiety eats away at me. I still haven’t had a chance to get going on her surprise party. The truth is, I don’t know where to begin. The only surprise birthday party I ever had was at Faraway. And that doesn’t really count.

“I want a puppy for my birthday,” says Calla. “Did you ever have one?”

I tell her about my little pup Bambi, leaving out all the painful, sordid details. Tears sting my eyes.

“Jane, why are you crying?” asks Calla.

“Because I still miss him,” I sniffle, thinking about his cruel fate.

Calla gives me a hug. It makes me feel better.

After dinner, I put her to bed. I make up a cute story about Bambi, bid her sweet dreams, and kiss her good night.

Perfect! I couldn’t have planned it better. With Gallant gone, Marcella locked in her room, and the cooks back to take care of Calla in case she wakes up, I can escape for a few hours and have my GNO with Elz and Winnie.

I sneak out of the castle a little before nine o’clock, and before I can even inhale the crisp night air, a coach pulls up, almost running me over. The vehicle oddly resembles a giant gilded pumpkin. “The Glass Slipper” is scrolled across it in big flowery letters.

I’m shocked to see Elz in the driver’s seat. Winnie, seated next to her, looks relieved to see me. I climb aboard.

“Whee-Ha!” shouts Elz, slapping the horses on the rear. The coach takes off like a bolt of lightning. I’m not sure about this.

Elz is a total speed demon. Who would have thought that this shy, timid girl would ever be driving a coach? And like a maniac! Then again, she’s the one who wanted to go on a high seas adventure with Hook. As we race through the dark, bumpy countryside, the wind rips through me, threatening to blow me away. I exchange a this-is-it look with Winnie and cling to her for dear life.

I have no clue where Elz is taking us. Or if we’ll make it there alive. Finally, we come to a small tavern somewhere in the middle of nowhere. It’s called Puss ’n Boots. Elz brings the coach to a screeching halt, causing my stomach to lurch forward. Grateful to still be alive, I heave a sigh of relief. So does Winnie.

Inside, the tavern is dark and smoky and reeks of piss, puke, and vinegar. Loud, swarthy men line the bar along with an assortment of your usual fairy-tale freaks. Their eyes swivel our way as we head toward the counter. We’re the only women here.

The nauseating stench is getting to me. It reminds me of the men my mother used to bring home. The boar head on the wall is not helping. I bet my damn Huntsman donated it.

“How did you find this place?” I ask Elz, wishing we could leave.

“Hook. We come here all the time.”

My eyes widen. Is Elz seeing Hook? Before I can find out, she orders each of us a mug of beer. The beverage is cold and refreshing. I chug mine and get an instant buzz. I order another.

“I’m convinced Shrink placed us in our post-rehab positions for a reason,” says Winnie, nursing her beer.

“What makes you say that?” I ask, silently cursing the thinks-she-knows-it-all therapist for placing me with Marcella.

“Since I’ve been working at Sparkles, I’ve lost my craving for sweets. I haven’t had any for weeks.”

“Wow!” chirps Elz. “I can’t believe you can resist those yummy cupcakes, especially the ones with the creamy surprise inside.”

I know exactly what she’s talking about, and it’s making me ravenous. Damn! There aren’t even any munchies around this joint. Time to change the subject.

“How’s it going with John?” I ask.

“Now that I’m working, he’s pitching in a lot more.” Winnie smiles. “And he’s paying a lot more attention to me.”

“He should be. You look amazing!” Her weight loss really is astonishing.

“Thanks.”

“She’s had to buy a whole new wardrobe,” chimes in Elz.

I hope she’s burned her fat-girl frocks, destroyed them for good. “How are your kids doing?”

“Hansel and Gretel are doing great. I really want you to meet them.”

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