Page 238 of Naughty Nelle

“I’m on a late lunch break. I’m actually doing my post-rehab apprenticeship next door at Sparkles.”

A bakery? And no ordinary bakery. Why would Shrink and Grimm put a woman with an overeating problem to work at a place filled with zillions of tempting sweets? There must be a reason to their madness because Winnie looks fabulous. She’s half the size of when I saw her last.

“I come over here during lunch because I enjoy helping out with the children. Plus, I get a big discount whenever I buy something for Hansel or Gretel. What are you up to?”

Quickly, I tell her about my PIW position. How awful it is.

“Marcella makes Sasperilla look like a sugarplum fairy. At least, the skinny bitch didn’t boss people around like she owned the world.” I tell her the only good thing about my job is Calla. “I want to buy her a doll. That one in the window.”

“A great choice!” Smiling, Winnie heads over to the window and scoops out the doll. When she returns, she gently places it in my arms.

I examine the beautiful doll, noticing that it bears an uncanny resemblance to me, once you get past her long, silky hair and richly detailed royal attire. Sewn into the backside is a label that puts a big smile on my face. “Hand Made by Pinocchio” Pinocchio! He must be out of Faraway, doing his post-rehab apprenticeship nearby. With luck, I’ll run into him.

Winnie carefully wraps up the doll, then hands it to me in a shopping bag bearing the store’s insignia, a golden goose. She glances down at her watch. “My lunch break’s almost over. I’d better get out of this costume and back to Sparkles.”

And I’d better catch up with Marcella before she sends a pack of big bad wolves after me. After hugging Winnie, I hastily gather up Marcella’s purchases and dash out of Mother Goose. I can hardly wait to give the doll to Calla; she’ll love it. Shopping’s put me in a much better mood. And, at least, I know where to find Winnie. I can’t wait to see her again.

Wandering through the mall, I bump into Her Royal Skankiness as she breezes out of a palatial store called Lordstrom. Yet another shopping bag.

“Where on earth have you been?” she snaps. “And what do you have in that silly goose bag?” She cranes her neck to peer at Calla’s present.

“It’s a d—”

“Whatever! I’ve wasted valuable shopping time looking for you. Let’s go!”

She points a finger at The Ballgown Emporium and shoves me along. “Move it before some princess wannabe gets the dress I want!”

The Ballgown Emporium is dazzling. As big and grand as a palace ballroom, it’s built on three levels, with a sweeping spiral staircase connecting each one. An enormous crystal chandelier hangs in the center.

All around it, spectacular gem-colored ball gowns dangle from the soaring ceiling, ready for their first dance. Weird! The gowns are multiplying. My eyes dart around the store from corner to corner. I see myself everywhere. What’s going on? Then it hits me. The walls of The Ballgown Emporium are mirrored from floor to ceiling. Wall-to-wall mirrors! Everywhere! My heart quakes; my body shakes. All the bags I’m carrying fall to the floor.

Get a grip, Jane!I inhale deeply and attempt to meditate. But it’s too late.

“Mirror, mirror on the wall,

Who’s the fairest one of all?”

The mirrors respond:

“You, My Queen, are the fairest at the mall,

But a golden-haired child is fairer than us all.”

“Who are you talking about?” I cry out.

Silence.

“Tell me!” I yell louder. “TELL ME!”

“Dahling, are you okay?”

I snap my eyes open and find myself sprawled on a purple velvet fainting couch. A burly man, in a sequined chinoiserie robe, looms above me, fanning me with a peacock feather. I must have passed out. Collecting myself, I sit up. I tell him I’m fine. That the mirrors made me feel a little dizzy. No big deal. No big deal? They’ve turned me into a delusional basket case. Wait! Can these mirrors be magic too?

“I love your style,” the flamboyant man says effusively.

I glance down at my plain black dress. He’s got to be kidding.

“Black is the new pink, but no one believes me. I’m Emperor Armando. Let me know if I can show you something for the ball.”