Page 237 of Naughty Nelle

Can this day get any worse?

A few doors down, she shoves me into another store. Forever Princess. We’re the only shoppers over twenty; everyone else is no more than sixteen. The youthful fashions and gorgeous, young royals make me feel old. And jealous. I avoid looking at myself in a mirror.

Marcella, unfazed, holds one frock after another up to her curvaceous body. “Jane, how do I look in these?”

What I want to tell her is they don’t make her look a day over forty. What I end up saying is they make her look like she’s twenty-one.

“Perfection! I’ll take them!” She jerks me out of the store, loading me down with six more overstuffed shopping bags.

Next door is a lingerie and sleepwear store. Aurora’s Secret. Marcella snaps her fingers, signaling me to follow her inside. Aisles of the skimpiest undergarments I’ve ever seen line the store. Royals, regardless of shape or size, can’t seem to get enough of them. While I stand frozen in shock, Her Royal Skankiness snatches up a dozen frilly briefs with matching corsets in assorted colors. I have no idea how they’ll hold up her cannonballs. She also can’t resist a leopard-print negligee that’s trimmed with feathers “The Prince will love it!” she coos. It’s the cheesiest thing I’ve ever seen.

A pretty, young maiden bags her purchases. Marcella pouts. “I need coffee! All this shopping is wearing me out.”

That makes two of us. And actually, I haven’t had a cup of coffee since I’ve been back here. Marcella briskly leads the way to a nearby café, The Coffee Queen, and orders two black coffees. The cheap bitch makes me pay for mine. To add insult to injury, when I put the hot beverage to my lips, I don’t want to drink it. Everything—the smell, the taste, the color—repulses me. I’m outraged. Thanks to Faraway, I’ve completely lost my taste for coffee.

Marcella finishes her coffee and mine. I struggle to follow her as she charges out the door and races through the mall. She’s obviously gotten a coffee buzz. A major one. Bogged down with her purchases and exhausted, I can’t keep up with her. In no time, I lose her.

Mmm. Something smells delicious. Unbelievably delicious! Following my nose, I’m lured inside a charming bakery. Sparkles. Behind the counter are dozens of the most amazing cupcakes I’ve ever seen. Each one, a little work of art—piled high with frosting and topped off with sparkly sprinkles. I can’t resist, and fortunately, I have just enough money to buy one.

When I lick the rich chocolate frosting, I practically melt. It arouses memories of my chocolate-fest with Elz and Winnie. I’m instantly in a much better mood. Recharged to resume my shopping expedition with Marcella, who’s nowhere in sight.

I’m quickly detoured again. Still on my chocolate high, I stumble upon The Enchanted Spa.

“Spaaaaah!”Just saying the word makes me relaxed. I’ve got to check it out. Maybe this will be the real thing. A spa experience is exactly what I need after my depressing castle encounter. I deserve it! I’ll squeeze in a facial. A quickie. Before the shopaholic discovers I’m missing.

Inside, The Enchanted Spa is everything I wanted Faraway to be and more. Luxurious! Pampering! And magical! “Can I have a facial?” I ask the dewy-skinned nymph at the reception desk.

“Jane, what are you doing here?” The voice is familiar.

I whirl around. Marcella!

“I’m setting up your spa appointment—#6 on your To Do List,” I stammer. It’s a lucky thing I remembered.

“Good. When you’re done, meet me at The Ballgown Emporium.” She tears out the door.

I set up her spa day, then arrange for my facial. When I find out how much it costs, I slink away.

Right next door is a toy store. Mother Goose. I’m reminded that Marcella wants me to buy a toy that she can give to Calla. I eye a beautiful porcelain doll in the window. Calla will adore it. And Marcella will score points with The Prince. There’s nothing like buying love. I think about my mother and how she used to buy all kinds of presents for Snow White—whom she secretly despised—to impress The King. Using the money I earned. And, of course, she never got a thing for me. Not even a tiny toy.

Inside, the store is a child’s dream-come-true playroom. Amazing toys, games, and crafts are everywhere. Wow! There’s even a princess dress-up kit. I would have loved that as a child.

I gasp. Smack in the middle of the store, a menacing life-size green dragon soars to the ceiling. It’s just a toy, of course, but still, it reminds me of my life-and-death encounter with the real thing at Faraway. A little boy in velvet knickers (obviously some young prince) is trying to slay the beast with his pretend sword, much to the dismay of his worn out nanny.

A trim woman, holding a large staff and wearing an enormous bonnet that hides her face, marches up to the little boy. She slams down the staff.

“Excuse me, young man. You’re going to hurt the dragon. Mother Goose says to put down your sword,” she says in a threatening, put-on voice.

Startled, the youngster drops his sword and flies into the arms of his nanny. He sticks his tongue out at the big-bonnet woman. What a brat! Mother Goose doesn’t flinch; she simply steps down hard on the dragon’s foot. The dragon roars and, out from its fanged mouth, shoots a breath of fire. I jump away. It’s way too real! Yelping, the little brat and his nanny bolt out of the store.

Pleased with herself, Mother Goose walks away from the dragon. Her face is finally visible. It’s freckled, and she has long red pigtails. Oh my God. Can it be?

“Winnie!” I scream.

“Jane!” she screams right back at me.

I drop all of Marcella’s purchases and run over to hug her. Our arms tangled, we jump up and down like two little kids in a toy store.

“What are you doing here?” I ask.

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