Page 192 of Naughty Nelle

I sip a tablespoon of the warm, hearty soup. And guess what, it does make me feel better. I scoff down the entire bowl.

By the time group rolls around, I’m back to myself. And contemplating an escape plan.

In group, Elz heeds Winnie’s play-hard-to-get advice and sits as far away from Hook as she can. I end up sitting next to him. Regrettably.

“So, babe, how ’bout it tonight?” he whispers in my ear.

Pressing his thigh against mine, he gives me his smarmy you-don’t-know-what-you’re-missing-out-on smile.

I edge away from him before I punch him where it hurts and focus my attention on Grimm.

“Today, we’re going on a group hike in The Enchanted Forest.”

Fine with me. At least, I won’t be stuck sitting next to swineface for an hour.

“We’re going to engage in a non-visual intimate encounter with trees,” Grimm continues.

Great. This morning I had to pretend I was a piece of furniture, and now I have to hump a tree. Rehab is just all fun and games.

“I have randomly paired you up. Winifred will be with What’s-His-Name; Elzmerelda will be with…”

Elz looks longingly at Hook, hoping he’ll be her partner.

“…her sister, Sasperilla.”

“No way!” shrieks Sasperilla. “I’m not partnering with her!”

Poor Elz cannot hide her disappointment.

“…and finally, Jane will be with…”

I hear his name before Grimm says it. My luck! I’m stuck with Hook!

The rogue won’t leave me alone. As Grimm explains our tree game, his hook toys with the buttons on my dress. I inch away from him, only to have him move closer. Maybe some rabid squirrel will bite his nuts.

“The way this exercise works is that one person is blindfolded while his or her partner directs them to a tree that fits their personality. Blah, blah, blah, blah.” I’m so distracted by Hook that I hardly hear a word Grimm’s saying. The next thing I know, we’re flipping a coin to determine which partner will be blindfolded first. It’s going to be What’s-His-Name, Sasperilla, and me.

“What this exercise does is build responsibility and trust in a fun way,” says Grimm.

Sasperilla plants her hands on her jutting hipbones and fumes. “Elzmerelda’s out to get me! I can’t trust her!”

“You can trust me, babe.” Hook slaps my ass.

Cripes! How am I going trust him when he’s out to get me?

Grimm is such a liar. This is not going to be fun.

Grimm has assigned us different paths so we don’t bump into one and other. Just as I thought, being alone—and blindfolded—with Hook in the middle of the forest is no walk in the park. I can hardly wait for this stupid tree-hugging game to end.

“So, Jane, what kind of trees are you into?” asks Hook. “I bet you like them big and hard.”

I’m not answering that question.

“Have you ever felt the flow of life energy in a tree?”

“No,” I reply dryly.

“You’ve been missing out on a life-changing experience.”

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