Page 183 of Naughty Nelle

“The only problem I have is that I’m stuck in this nuthouse. I didn’t ask to come here!”

“You agreed to come here.”

“It was all a bunch of lies! I was tricked! I thought I was being sent to a spa! I want to go back that dungeon!”

“It’s too late. You can’t go back.”

What! I’m stuck here? Rage crescendos inside me.

“Here’s the deal,” she says to my face. “Everyday at this time for the next three weeks, you are going to talk to me about your life. I will listen with a third ear and find the underlying cause of your addiction. Then I will share this discovery with you, and we will work together toward a complete recovery.”

I’m about to explode. There’s no way I’m going to spend three weeks opening up to this flying bug of a woman who has some invisible third ear.

“You can’t keep me here!” I shout. “I’ll run away. Escape! In fact, I’m going to say good-bye to this dump right now.”

I bolt off the chaise and head straight for the door.

“Good luck,” says Shrink. “But may I remind you of the high stone wall, the locked gate, and the armed guardsman. And I almost forgot, there’s a moat.”

I stop dead in my tracks. Why did she have to remind me? Rage becomes despair. I’m stuck in this madhouse!

The chime sounds.

“Time’s up for today, Jane. I’ll see you here tomorrow.”

Leaving a blinding trail of fairy dust, she zips out the door.

I’ve got to get out of here. I’ve got to! Before that insidious bug of a woman who calls herself a therapist makes me completely insane. That also rhymes with Jane. I tremble as I put them together. Insane Jane.

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