Page 164 of Naughty Nelle

CHAPTER 2

Ha! They’ll never prove me guilty, I tell myself as spectators clamber into the courtroom where I’m being tried for Snow White’s murder. I bet every fairy-tale freak in the world is here. Giants. Gnomes. Ogres. Trolls. You name it. It’s a circus. And I’m the star.

Chained to a wooden chair that’s bolted to the floor, I laugh silently as the freaks make a beeline for the best seats. Sitting here, at least, beats being holed up in that cold, mirrorless dungeon for a month. Reporters from the Fairytale Tattler are lined up, falling over each other to get a good look at me. I plaster a charming smile on my face. Trust me, I’m going to give them a great story. With a happy ending.

The judge, a big fat woman, with spiky hair the color of a blood orange and a small gold crown, strolls up to her bench like a queen to her throne. “Order in the Court!” she roars in a deep, husky voice. She pounds her gavel. The room shakes. Obviously, she’s got a big fat temper too.

She calls the first witness. The Huntsman. As he lumbers up to the stand, rage and regret consume me. I should have never trusted the spineless twit. I should have done him in when he brought me back some beast’s heart, pretending it was Snow White’s. I should have ripped out his heart. Yes, that’s what I should have done.

I cringe as he confesses everything…how I bribed him to take Snow White into the forest and kill her…threatened his life. So, he brought a boar’s heart back. The wuss!

His forest green eyes stay riveted on me as a tear trickles down his thick dark beard. “I just couldn’t bring myself to harm that sweet, beautiful girl.”

Beautiful?My blood curdles. I want to sink my teeth into him like a mad dog.

The Huntsman faces the judge. “Your honor, Jane needs help.” His voice wavers. “Before she does more evil.”

How dare he call me by my first name! And how the hell does he know it?

The judge turns her jowly face toward me. I count her chins. Three!

“So, what do you have to say for yourself?” she asks.

I quickly compose myself. Time for a little self-defense. Rising, I tell the court, in my calmest voice, that what The Huntsman said is all a bunch of lies. To get back at me for firing him. And with Snow White dead, he can’t prove a thing. “There’s not an evil bone in my body,” I add, almost with a laugh.

Okay. I lied. I’m going to destroy this insolent traitor and those damn dwarfs as soon as soon as I’m free.

The judge looks back at The Huntsman and presses her heart-shaped lips into a hard, grim line. My heart hammers.

“Dismissed!” she thunders with a bang of her gavel.

Inwardly, I breathe a sigh of relief.

The Huntsman plods out of the courtroom, not once taking his eyes off me.

I sit back down. Score one for me.

“Next witness,” hollers the judge.

The Seven Dwarfs march into the court with a vengeance. They’re in their grungy work clothes. Good. That’s not going to help with their credibility.

“Do you recognize this woman?” asks the judge.

Fourteen eyes lay rest on me.

My body doesn’t move a muscle. But inside my heart is racing. Stay calm. Just stay calm.

The dwarfs study my face, then shake their heads in unison.

“We’ve never seen her before,” says the one wearing spectacles.

Ha! I’m out of here. Not so fast. The dwarf at the end of the lineup bashfully comes forward. I hold my breath.

“The woman who poisoned our beloved Snow White was a witch, not a beauty.”

How sweet of him to say! I purse my lips and blow the runt a kiss. He blushes.

The tiniest one with the big ears opens his mouth, but the judge bangs her gavel before he can utter a word.

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