Page 70 of Snow Going Back

‘Absolutely not,’ Kate retorted indignantly. ‘I won fair and square.’

Sam laughed. ‘Fine. Take it. You win.’ He shook his head, and the pair of them set about collecting all the rogue food bullets now scattered around the room.

Kate watched him as they worked in natural sync, a small smile playing across her lips. She’d thought a lot about Sam, too, overnight. About the way he made her feel. Then she’d thought back to her father’s words about the bigger picture, about the fact there was really no such thing. That life’sbig picturewas really just a collection of moments all strung together. When she looked back over all her memories with Lance across the last few months, she’d been surprised to realise all she could see wasstress and unhappiness and restraint. And this was a pattern that went back much further than his surprise proposal. They’d had their good times, but they’d come at a cost Kate hadn’t realised she’d been paying.

She’d realised, as she analysed it all now from this distance, that over time she’d become less and less herself in a bid to become what he wanted her to be. It had been even more sobering to realise that she’d been doing this to herself for much longer than Lance had been around. She’d been trying to live up to everyone else’s expectations of her for far too long. And she had no idea when she’d started sacrificing parts of herself that way, but she knew it was time for her to stop. No matterhowterrifying that prospect was.

When her thoughts had then wandered back over her time with Sam – their initial mutual hatred aside – she realised she’d felt happier and more inspired in this time than she had in as long as she could remember. And while she knew it was easy to feel positively about someone new, she also knew that this was different. They hadn’t started off in the rose-tinted phase of most new relationships. They hadn’t even started off on the right foot. They’d suffered the worst of each other’s ugliest side and had been through more together than some people go through in a decade. And yet despite all odds, and their best efforts not to, they’d grown closer and had become a genuine source of happiness in each other’s lives. But this wasn’t something she could allow herself to think about just yet. She had a few more pressing things to deal with right now.

Sam looked sideways at her, and she caught his gaze with a look of question. ‘What’s up?’

‘Listen, about last night,’ he said, his tone a trifle awkward. ‘I don’t want to overstep the mark and ruin anything today, but I just want you to know that whatever I – that –ah…’ He turned to face her but looked away, struggling to find the right words.

Kate’s stomach did a small flip, and she carefully neutralised her expression as she waited, not quite sure if the feelings his words had stirred up inside her were of hope or panic. She couldn’t have this conversation with him, not yet. No matter how much part of her wanted to.

‘I think, er, I think it’s pretty clear that I think a lot of you, Kate,’ Sam continued. ‘I just want you to know that I wouldn’t ever – I wouldn’t – I just –look… I know you’re getting married in just a few days, and I want you to know that?—’

‘Sam.’ Kate couldn’t stop herself reaching out, and they both stared at her hand on his for a moment. ‘Listen.’ She bit her lip, torn as his eyes moved up to meet hers. ‘Things aren’t exactly the way they seem. Or the way theywere, perhaps. I don’t know. I, um…’ Kate shook her head. ‘Look, when I get back to London—’ she started carefully, but the rest of her sentence was cut short as a loud knock sounded at the door.

They shared a confused glance, and then Sam stepped back.

‘Are you expecting anyone?’ Kate asked, relieved at the interruption.

Sam shook his head. ‘No.’ He moved away from her reluctantly. ‘I’ll see who it is.’

‘OK.’ Kate turned back to the counter with a deep, calming breath.

Whoever it was, they couldn’t have come at a better time.

She walked to the fridge and pulled out the custard she’d made earlier and took it back to the island with a determinedly bright grin. It was Christmas Day, andthatwas what she would focus on. Hopefully their guest would stay a while and be the distraction she needed from the words that remained – just about – unspoken between her and Sam.

‘We have enough food for a small army, by the way,’ she called out as she heard Sam open the door. ‘So if whoever it iswants to stay for food, they’re more than welcome, though I’d possibly avoid the custard.’ She grimaced at it.

‘Well, that’s certainly good to hear,’ came a familiar voice. ‘Because afterthatjourney, I’m absolutely starving.’

Kate twirled around with a gasp and dropped the spoon to the floor with a clatter. The lumpy custard splattered up her favourite oversized beige jumper and onto her cheek. But she didn’t notice any of that, because Lance was standing in the doorway, all dressed up in his Armani suit. He smiled at her, and Kate’s heart plummeted. She glanced past him to Sam, trying to gauge his reaction, but it was unreadable. Then Lance walked forward, blocking him from view entirely. He held out a bottle of champagne with a big blue Tiffany’s box.

‘Merry Christmas, darling.’

THIRTY-NINE

‘Here you go,’ Kate said, handing Lance a glass of wine across the table. ‘Sorry for the wait. I just had to sort out some last-minute bits.’

She’d also run upstairs and silently cursed behind her closed door before walking back down with a serene smile. She felt awful for Sam. Aside from their near moment being totally quashed by Lance’s arrival, he was just trying to enjoy his last Christmas in his home while Cora’s memory was still fresh and around him. The man was grieving and trying to understand their earlier half-managed conversation, and then, of all people,Lanceshows up. Possibly the last person in the world Sam wanted to be forced to entertain right now.

Lance, she knew from the set of his cool smile and the way he’d been studying the other man with his courtroom tactics, had already taken against Sam. And it was natural, she supposed, to some degree. His future wife had been living here for months with this other man he didn’t know anything about. Of course he’d feel guarded.

‘So, Sam,’ Lance said, with a cool, lofty smile, ‘tell me, what is it you do?’ He helped himself to some potatoes, thenexaggeratedly stared at Sam’s checked flannel shirt. ‘Are you intrade?’

Sam held his gaze levelly for a moment, but Kate saw him tense at Lance’s subtle condescending tone. ‘Yes,’ he answered. ‘I am.’ He reached for the parsnips.

‘Oh, fantastic,’ Lance replied with a slight laugh. ‘That’s great. Katherine, could you pass the salt?’

Kate hid a frown at the use of her full name. Why was he being so weirdly formal? He didn’t even call her Katherine in front of her mother. She passed him the salt with a tight smile.

‘Thank you. Is there a lot of work for you around here, Sam?’ Lance continued with exaggerated politeness. ‘Is it domestic work you do or commercial? Skilled or…?’ He let the question hang.

Sam’s face twitched as he forced a smile back, and Kate frowned, annoyed at them both. Lance was acting like a facetious snob, and Sam was playing the game he’d played whenshe’dfirst arrived, giving nothing away and letting Lance mislead himself. Well, it might be a gameheenjoyed, butshecertainly didn’t. She butted in ahead of him before he could answer, taking on Lance’s challenge herself as she served them both slices of turkey.

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