Page 42 of Snow Going Back

Sam looked away down the hallway, then shook his head. ‘I haven’t seen any will.’

‘OK. Well, if you come across…’ Kate trailed off as the door was swiftly shut again and Sam’s angry stomps returned to his own room. His door slammed, and she turned to the picture of Cora on the wall. ‘Where did you hide it, Cora? And why have you made it so hard to find?’

TWENTY-FOUR

9 January 1955

W took me to the movies last night, to seeWhite Christmas. Christmas was obviously over weeks ago now, but when I told W I hadn’t seen it, he insisted we go. And I’m glad he did. It was a simply wonderful film. Vera-Ellen danced around the screen with the most glorious skill. And in one scene with Danny Kaye, it was as though she barely even touched the ground.

W made me laugh by twirling me around on the pavement outside. But he said the characters played by Bing Crosby and Rosemary Clooney reminded him of us, which was the moment I was pulled right back to earth, because I am far from the quiet and cautious older sister. And that he thinks that made me wonder if he knows me at all. Vera-Ellen’s character was the one who called to my soul. She had such spirit and bravery.

Upon returning home, I said as much to my mother, who told me that the film was just fantasy and that true braveness is much less obvious. She also said that adventures are created wherever you decide to have them. She told me that some are quieter, that any movement forward in life is a new adventure. And I suppose she is right.

W has openly declared his love for me now. My parents couldn’t be happier about it. I told my mother that I don’t see W that way. That I love him as a friend. She tells me that this is the most important type of love one can have in a marriage, that after a while, romantic love fades, and if friendship is what’s left, then life will be good.

Mother also told me that now I am a woman, I cannot think of my current happiness, I must think of my future happiness and what is necessary for a comfortable life. With W, I would have a very good life. I would never have to worry about the prospect of poverty or resentment after the shine of romance has faded.

I suppose I should heed her words. But the thought of entering a marriage with someone who lights no fire in my soul fills me with desolation. Not that W has proposed marriage yet, but I think he eventually will.

Sometimes, for just a second, a part of me wishes I had never met M. For then I’d never know what I was missing; no flame would have been set alight. But that thought flickers away quickly, because I know, even if that fire were to be put out by the cold rains of life’s storms, I would never live to regret it. Because I’d know, even if I never found it again, that for one brief shining moment, my heart truly lived.

TWENTY-FIVE

Kate looked up from the photo album she was poring over cross-legged on the basement floor and tilted her head to the side. Had that been the doorbell or was she imagining things? After a second, it sounded again, and she tutted, dragging herself up with reluctance. Sam wasn’t in, so she’d have to answer it.

She checked her watch as she climbed the stairs, surprised to see it was almost five. She’d been wading through the basement boxes all day and had decided to stop and reward herself with a little break and a look through more of Cora and William’s old photo albums. They’d been on so many adventures together. Safaris and sailing trips, with snaps from the tops of snowy mountains to the bowls of desert valleys. But the one thing Kate noticed in all of them was that, whether they were on an adventure, or simply sitting in the garden, the happiness and love shining from their faces never altered.

The doorbell chimed a third time as she reached the top of the stairs.

‘Just a sec!’ she called, quickly patting the basement dust off her trousers.

Kate opened the door with a polite smile, then froze as she came face to face with Aubrey Rowlings.

The gleaming smile, militantly straight blonde hair and eerily wide blue eyes hit Kate like a glitch in the Matrix, being such a perfect match to her posed photo. But unlike the photo, this Aubrey couldn’t be ignored.

‘Oh mygosh!’ Aubrey gushed, ascending into a high muted scream and throwing her arms outwards. ‘It isso goodtosee you! Comehere– let’shug!’ She grabbed Kate and squeezed her against her ample bosom.

‘Oh, er,oop! OK…’ Kate muttered awkwardly, feeling alarmed.

‘Ah, Kate, howareyou?’ Aubrey released her and twisted her around in one swift move, linking her arm through Kate’s and walking her forward into the house. ‘How’re you holding up? Are youOK? You doingOK?’ She was nodding at Kate encouragingly now, her forehead puckered in concern as though worried about her.

Kate blinked, thoroughly confused. ‘Er, yes, thank you. I’m – I’m fine.’ She stared back at Aubrey, who was now nodding faster and making crooning sounds of sympathetic agreement. ‘But it’smewho should be askingyouthat,’ she said slowly, trying very hard to keep the instant distrust she felt towards Aubrey out of her expression. ‘You’re the one who just lost your great-aunt.’ She gently but firmly removed her arm from the other woman’s grip, softening the move with a smile and a gesture to walk through to the kitchen. ‘Tea?’

‘Oh my gosh, you’re soBritish!’ Aubrey exclaimed with a laugh of delight as she moved to walk ahead of Kate.

‘Er,yes,’ Kate responded awkwardly, shooting a wary frown at the back of the woman’s perfectly styled head. ‘So I’ve been told.’

‘Tea,’ Aubrey repeated, amused. ‘I thought that was just ajoke, that offering tea is the first thing you British people do. Likesomething that went viral from a stand-up or something. I didn’t realise it wastrue.’

She let out another sharp burst of laughter, and Kate’s frown deepened, but she swiftly smiled as Aubrey reached the kitchen and turned around.

‘Er,yes. I guess itistrue,’ she agreed. ‘So…’ She walked over to the kettle. ‘Would you like one?’

Aubrey grinned and sat down on one of the bar stools, running her fingers through the ends of her perfectly straight hair. ‘You areadorable,Kate,honestly.’

The little devil on her shoulder popped up with a look of question and an array of choices, and even the angel pointedly studied her nails between hopeful glances. But Kate simply took a deep breath and smiled, leaving them to share a disappointed look.

‘Well, I’m having one,’ she said firmly. ‘Let me know what you decide.’

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