Page 73 of Snow Going Back

‘Excuse me?’ Lance asked, annoyance flashing across his face. ‘What a thing to say to me!’

Kate shook her head. ‘No. This is where I’d usually justtake it. The chains were undermycontrol so therefore the fault must be that, notyou, right? That’s what I usually do. But itwasyou.’

‘Kate,nothingyou’re saying is making any sense to me right now,’ Lance told her.

He was suddenly calling her Kate again, now that Sam was gone, she noted. She shook her head. ‘What are you even doinghere?’ she asked. ‘Why aren’t you at home with your mum? It’s ChristmasDay.’

‘Because I wastryingto spend it withyou. My future wife.’ Lance held her gaze accusingly, and she shook her head.

‘No, that’s not it. I was set to fly home the day after tomorrow. You wanted to come out here and stamp your territory,’ she accused.

Lance exhaled and pushed up his glasses. ‘Well, what if Idid?’ he asked. ‘Is that really so awful? You’ve been gone nearly twomonths, shacked up with some guy I don’t know – who’s apparently the Hulk’s younger cousin.Can you reallyblame mefor wanting to check up on you and puff my chest out a little? Especially as it seems maybe Ididhave something to worry about. Because instead of focusing onme, the fiancé who just travelled for eighteen hours to surprise you on Christmas Day, there you are running off to chase the latestMagic Mikerecruit. I mean, seriously, Kate, thesheer sizeof the guy!’ Lance blew air out through his cheeks and shook his head. ‘Tell meyou’dfeel happy about me all cosied up with thefemaleversion of that.’

Kate exhaled and sighed unhappily. ‘Lance, if you were stuck on a job living with the all-time hottestPage Three girlfor two months, I would still trust you without doubt,’ she told him sadly.

She walked past him to the lounge and sat down in one of the armchairs, rubbing one cold hand over the other slowly and looking down at her engagement ring as a heaviness settled over her like a blanket. Lance took the seat opposite her. He opened his mouth to speak, but she stopped him.

‘No, I’m going to talk. Lance, you came here because you didn’t trust me. And I’ve had chances to cheat on you, you know, if I wanted to,’ she said truthfully. ‘But I never have and never would, because I’m not that kind of person, andthat’ssomething I thought you knew.’

Lance had the grace to look ashamed, and he nodded. ‘I do,’ he said, his voice heavy. ‘I do know that. And I do trust you.’

Kate shook her head. ‘What was worse though was the way you came in here and treatedSam.This is hishome.And he lost his aunt, the woman who raised him as her own son, just a few weeks ago,’ she told him. ‘She was the only family he had, so today was his first Christmasalone. His first Christmas without afamily.’ She shook her head. ‘You were callous and rude and unkind, and it’s just not OK. I get that me being here hasn’t been easy for you, but Sam’s been through a lot worse, and I honestly can’t believe how badly you just treated him.’

Lance shrugged. ‘OK, fine. I’msorry. You’re right, it was rude, but I saw how the guy was looking at you, and it got my back up.’

‘Yes, well, it really doesn’t matter now.’ She sighed tiredly.

‘What’sthatsupposed to mean?’ Lance asked with a frown.

Kate studied him for a moment. ‘Lance, why did you ask me to marry you?’ she asked.

He frowned. ‘What sort of question is that?’

‘A simple one,’ she replied. ‘We don’t even live together – what prompted the sudden proposal?’

Lance sighed, looking stressed. ‘Alright. It was at Rick and Amy’s wedding, when your mother started making all those comments. Thing is, Kate’ – he spread his hands outwards – ‘she madesense. I want a family. I want the nice house and the children. And you’rethirty-five. You know, you act all startled about these things, but you’re awoman. You have a time limit. I’m sorry, but it’strue. So I thought about it and, yes, it needs to benow. And we’ll look back and thank ourselves, down the line, that we did.’

‘I have a time limit?’ Kate let out an incredulous laugh. ‘Lance, do you realise you’ve not once actually asked me whatIwant?’

‘OfcourseI have,’ he said dismissively.

‘When?’ Kate waited as the cogs behind Lance’s eyes began to whirr.

After a while his eyebrows flicked up in brief surprise. ‘I guess I didn’t, did I?’ Kate shook her head. ‘Well, whatdoyou want?’ he asked. ‘We can make a plan to make it work for both of us. Ilove you,Kate. Obviously, I want to make you happy.’

Kate sighed, and she looked away sadly. ‘Youhavemade me happy,’ she told him. ‘For a while I think we made each other happy. And I don’t doubt that you do love me, Lance, but we need to start being honest with ourselves. We aren’t right for each other. Not really. You and I want completely different things.’

‘No.’ Lance shook his head. His eyes darted around her face, and fear coloured his frown as he saw what was there. ‘Come on, Kate – don’t do this to me. To us.’

‘Lance, to make a marriage work, you both have towantit, but Idon’t.’ She winced. ‘Idon’twant to marry you, and I’m sorry that hurts you, but I can’t change how I feel. Believe me, I’ve tried. The thought of a big family home and kidsterrifiesme.’ She shrugged. ‘And maybe some therapist will figure out why one day,’ she said with a weak grimace. ‘But either way, that’s just not what I want.’

‘You’ll look back on this with regret, Kate. Throwing away what we have,’ he argued. ‘Come on – this isn’t you. This is just cold feet, a blip, but we can work through it. Iknowyou can see how foolish it would be to walk away from what we have here. Just take a second and look at this practically. Wegeteach other. We’re on the same path, the same level and we get on wonderfully when we’re actually on the same continent. We are theperfect match. Come on – snap out of this.’

When she didn’t answer, he moved off the chair onto his knees and grasped one of her hands between both of his in herlap. ‘Kate, these last couple of months have been hard, I know. It’s all moved fast, and you’ve been out here, away from me, away from your home and family and friends. And that must have been so hard for you. It’s certainly been hard onus. But just think back to how you felt when we first got engaged. Remember therealus, before this distance and the stress muddled things up. That’sall this is. Just come home and marry me. I promise you, in a couple of months, you’ll look back on this and be glad that sense took over.’

Kate looked down into his bright hazel eyes with a sad smile. For a moment, she wondered if she really was being a fool. But then the words from Cora’s diary stirred in her memory, and her resolve strengthened.

She squeezed his hand. ‘Lance, if we settle for each other now, we’ll both miss out on finding the greatest adventure of our lives.’

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