I became Raaj.
"Want to talk about it?" Alyssa's voice pulls me back again. She's looking at me with such concern, such trust. It makes me sick.
I shake my head. "Not much to say. War's hell, right?"
She nods, but I can see the questions burning in her eyes. Questions I can never answer.
"Let's just get on with the session," I mutter, desperate to focus on anything but the past.
As Alyssa begins the exercises, I can't help but wonder: What would she do if she knew the truth? That the man she thinks saved her life is the very one who was sent to destroy it?
CHAPTER 4
ALYSSA
"Awalk will do us good," I say, gesturing towards the arboretum's winding path. Raaj nods, his eyes darting around as if cataloging every detail. I can't help but wonder what's going through his mind.
We fall into step, the soft crunch of gravel beneath our feet filling the silence. The dome above us filters the harsh Martian sunlight, casting a warm glow over the carefully cultivated greenery.
"So, Raaj," I start, desperate to break the ice. "How are you finding Mars so far?"
He chuckles, a low rumble that sends an unexpected shiver down my spine. "It's... different. Less sand than I expected."
"You were hoping for a giant red beach?" I tease, nudging his arm gently.
"Maybe," he admits, his lips quirking into a half-smile. "Though I suppose the lack of an ocean would make that difficult."
We pause by a small fountain, its gentle trickle a soothing counterpoint to the hum of the life support systems. I watch as Raaj trails his fingers through the water, his brow furrowing slightly.
"You know," I say, leaning against the fountain's edge, "I never properly thanked you for what you did on Horus IV."
His hand stills, water droplets clinging to his fingertips. "Alyssa, I?—"
"No, please," I interrupt, my heart racing. "I need to say this. You saved my life, Raaj. I don't know if I can ever repay that."
He looks at me then, his eyes a storm of emotions I can't quite decipher. "You don't owe me anything," he says softly.
"Maybe not," I concede, "but I want to help you recover. It's the least I can do."
Raaj turns away, his gaze fixed on the distant curve of the dome. "You're kind, Alyssa. Too kind, maybe."
"Is there such a thing?" I ask, trying to lighten the mood.
He doesn't answer immediately, and I find myself studying his profile. The strong line of his jaw, the slight furrow between his brows. There's a weight to him, a gravity that goes beyond his physical presence.
"Sometimes," he finally says, "kindness can be... dangerous."
I frown, confused by his words. "How so?"
Raaj sighs, running a hand through his hair. "It can make you trust people you shouldn't. See things that aren't there."
"And is that what's happening here?" I ask, my voice barely above a whisper.
He turns to me then, his eyes searching mine. "I don't know," he admits. "I honestly don't know."
I watch Raaj's face, noticing the flicker of emotions he's trying to hide. There's something haunting him, lurking just beneath the surface. My heart aches, knowing he's carrying burdens I can't even begin to imagine.
"Hey," I say softly, reaching out to touch his arm. He flinches slightly, but doesn't pull away. "You don't have to pretend everything's okay, you know."