Page 40 of My (Not So) Perfect Plan

“It wasn’t for lack of trying to learn, though,” my mother interjects with a laugh.

“I finally had to give up,” my father smiles.

I have no idea which one of my friends drives stick, but I know one of them can teach me.

“Okay. Well, I guess I’ll learn how to drive stick then.” I clap my hands with excitement. “Can I go check it out?”

“Yeah, sure.” Mom and dad watch as I run down the steps and out to the driveway. It’s pretty basic, to the point of having windows that have a hand crank instead of an electronic button, but it’s a car. A real car that can get me all over town. I rest my head on her top and decide I’m going to come up with a fantastic name for her, but I’m not going to rush it.

I head inside a few minutes later to eat with the family. It’s a noisy crowded affair with some fighting, some laughs, and a lot of reminders as to everything I am working toward. I want my siblings to make it.

After I finish my chores, I run upstairs to work on the rest of my homework, but I am too keyed up not to call Rachel and tell her what happened this afternoon.

“I think Jaxon drives stick. You want him to give you lessons on Friday afternoon?” she asks. “We could use the parking lot at school if you are okay with me leaving my car and Jaxon driving us to school in your car.”

“He wouldn’t mind?”

“Not at all,” she says.

She doesn’t have much to say about Evan, but I know she doesn’t care for the way I handled it, or the fact that there is no room in my plan for him.

We hang up and then I finish my homework, falling asleep on my trig textbook.

The week passes in a weird way – super fast when I want it to be slow and then super slow when I want it to be fast. And everything revolves around proximity to Evan. Nothing has gotten better, but I’ve slowly started to feel worse. I don’t know why but it seems like everything feels more and more out of sync even though when I look through my planner, everything is on track. My relationships with my friends is somewhat strained over our disagreement regarding Evan, but my relationship with my family is going strong and Joanna is really pleased with my work at the clinic. Even the gala seems to be going well as ticket sales grow.

Before I know it, Friday is here. In the morning, Rachel and Jaxon leave her car at my house and drive us to school in my car. Jaxon, being a guy who wants to test out the engine, pushes the limits and does all sorts of engine revving things that have me ready to say I didn’t care if wasn’t up to the standard of his car, it was good enough for me just because it ran.

Instead, when we pull into the school parking lot and get out, he nods his head at me. “Not bad. It’s a nice little car. It’s not a V8, but a decent V6 has more than enough power to get you where you need to go.”

I grin at him and let him pocket my keys, seeing as how he’s going to give me lessons after tutoring. For the rest of theday, my excitement is hard to contain, until Trig, which is still my most depressing class of the day.

After school, I wait in the library like I usually do. Evan and I have fallen into a strictly school work routine where we don’t even make small talk or ask anything personal. It’s hard for me not to comment on how great his progress has been, but I hold my tongue. Soon, he’ll be off the crutches, even if he won’t be able to do anything strenuous for the next five months.

We dive into it, and, like usual, by the end of the session my fingers are trembling from the strain of being in such close proximity to him and my heart is racing a million beats per minute. He’s leaning over the table working on some last minute stuff when my pencil flips somehow and hits him in the face, somewhere near his eye. I don’t know exactly where because I didn’t see when it came down, but Evan jumps with a cry and bends over holding his eye.

“Oh, my gosh! Evan!” I run around the table and crouch down in front of him, imagining all sorts of nasty, bloody, popped eyeball scenarios. I cover his hands with mine, not thinking about anything other than the injury he just sustained. “Are you all right? I am sooo sorry. I don’t even know what happened.”

He sits up, holding his injured eye with one hand, the other blazing at me, and then his good eye waters up and he drops his head back into his hand again like he can’t bear for me to see whatever it is he’s feeling. The fact that I’ve destroyed that trust between us kills me.

“Evan?” I ask, afraid that if I say more, I’ll make that dam break somehow and it’s obvious he doesn’t want me to see his emotion. But I can’t take knowing that I’ve caused him even more pain.

“I’ll be fine. Just go, Claire,” he says gruffly. I don’t want to leave, but he doesn’t say anything else and shifts his body away from me. I can take a hint so I pack up my books.

“I’m really sorry,” I say, and then turn and leave.

On the way out, my phone dings with a text. Rachel needs me to stop by her locker and pick up a notebook she left behind. I remember that Jaxon is waiting for me at my car and I start walking faster. I wasn’t able to fix my situation with Evan, but I could learn how to drive my own car.

I grab Rachel’s notebook and run out to the car. At first I think no one is out there, but then I see his silhouette in the front passenger seat.

My phone rings and I answer it as I swing the car door open and get in.

“Hey, Claire, sorry I had to bail on you,” Jaxon’s voice comes through the phone. Confused, I look across to the person sitting in the driver’s seat.

“You’re not Jaxon,” I breathe.

“No. No, I’m not,” he says.

NINE

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