Page 26 of My (Not So) Perfect Plan

“You ready for this?”

She’s brought my wheel chair so I don’t have to wear myself out using the crutches all over the stadium. Convincing my mother that this wasn’t a bad idea took some doing and the promise to bring ice pack changes in an insulated bag. I have enough pain killers in me to take the edge off, so when Claire asks me if I’m ready, I grin and open my door.

She climbs out of the cab and then climbs into the bed of the truck to drag my wheel chair over to the tail gate.

“Just leave it there Claire, I’ll get it down.” I can just imagine it collapsing on her while she’s trying to pull it off the tailgate. She comes around to my side.

“Okay, what can I do?” she asks.

I lower myself down and she doesn’t realize how close she’s standing. I take a moment to enjoy the proximity, leaning over her, almost close enough for me to lower my head and smell her hair.

“Here, let me hold onto your shoulder,” I say. I left my crutches at home since I wouldn’t be using them and while I can hop and hold onto the truck, I’m much more inclined to use her. She turns and I put one hand on her shoulder and one on the top of the side of my truck. As we work our way around to the back, her arm comes up to hold me around the back. I know she’s just concerned about my falling, but that doesn’t stop me from enjoying it. I hope by the faint pink blush on her cheeks that she’s enjoying it too.

I pull the wheel chair down and she opens it and sets it up for me. By the time we’re moving up the ramp into the field house, the crowd is starting to grow and the parking lot to fill. Everyone is full of school spirit and that produces a restlessness and tightness in my chest. We wait for the automatic disabled door to open after she pushes the button. I’m trying to fightoff negative thoughts and just think about supporting my team mates, but it’s hard when I want to be down there with them, and I know I never will be again. Like she knows exactly how I’m feeling, Claire silently squeezes my shoulder with one hand. It helps.

I have her take me back to Coach’s office since the locker rooms are obviously out. Coach Jenkins is happy to see me, slapping me on the back and thanking Claire for bringing me out and helping care for me. Word spreads fast that I’m there and the guys start coming in various states of dress. Claire goes and sits down on a bench while the guys hassle me and I hassle them back, but I keep an eye on her, amused at the flush on her skin, no doubt because of all the bare chests that keep coming out of the locker room.

I’m smiling before I know it, mostly at the antics of my friends and team mates. I’ve missed their stupid comments. My eyes flit over to Claire and I see that she’s watching me. She smiles back.

Coach tells me I can come to all the games with Claire and sit on the sidelines with the team. It’s a nice gesture and I figure I’ll take him up on it.

When we get out to the sidelines, the cheerleaders come over and start cooing over me. It helps to right my negativity, knowing that I’m still worth being of cooed over, but when they leave and the announcer comes on to begin the opening ceremonies, I start feeling nauseous.

Claire crouches next to me on a knee. “You all right?”

The football players break through the spirit banner at the end of the field. My mind goes back to what that’s like, like being on top of the world, with all the fans cheering. It’s only high school football, but the feeling of being a part of a team, ofbeing hailed for one’s prowess and ability, it’s like a drug and I’ve suddenly had to go clean.

Claire rises to her feet and starts whooping and cheering. I don’t think I can recall seeing her so enthusiastic at a game before, not that I noticed considering my head was usually on the game. Still, maybe the cheerleaders got to her? Her energy is infectious and I join her in cheering on my team mates.

We just barely win the game, but I’m happy to see that Lane, the second string QB, knows what he’s doing. He’s got a few weaknesses, but nothing that a season won’t fix. Since he’s a sophomore this year, barring any career ending tragedies like mine, I think sourly, he’ll be really good by the time he graduates.

Afterward, the guys meet me out by my truck. Claire quietly stands next to me while we analyze and recount a few of the plays. They invite us to hit up the diner with them and some of the fan girls and cheerleaders. I look over at Claire, which has everyone else looking at her too. She takes a step back at all the eyes on her and I grab her hand to reassure her.

“You up for going?” I ask her. My leg is starting to hurt a bit, but I wouldn’t mind showing up for a few minutes to support my friends. And getting out of the house is probably good for me.

“Only if you are,” she says. I nod and we all split up.

“Here,” she says before we leave. I’m sitting in the truck waiting for her to climb in when she hands me another ice pack and waits for me to give her the one I abandoned a half hour before. “You need more pain medicine?”

“I still have another two hours to go before I can,” I grimace.

“All right, well, when you want to go, say the word.” She touches my knee slightly and shuts my door. I watch her as sherounds the front of the truck. All sorts of feelings explode in my chest at the care and concern she displays. Then again, I remind myself and downplay her concern, she’s a therapist, it’s kind of her job. She might be attracted to me, but since neither of us want to become anything, I really need to focus on getting my mind off her.

The restaurant is loud and crowded. Parents are coming up to the football players and congratulating them, which makes navigating to the table in my wheelchair more difficult. Several parents come up to me as well, offering their sympathies over my injury. I appreciate the sentiments, but I don’t want to be reminded of it right now, or be strong about it. I’d rather just have some fun, maybe a half hour, no strings attached. It certainly seems like some of the cheerleaders are willing to make me happy considering how quickly they discover a mile wide Florence Nightingale streak. Anything I could possibly need is taken care of, along with plenty of touching.

Claire pulls up a chair next to me. I send her an apologetic look for the way she’s being ignored by everyone, but her amused smile and the shake of the head as her eyes dart up to the girl behind me massaging my shoulders has me laughing as well.

The guys and I talk football while the girls plan some party for Saturday night. I’m thinking I’m about ready to leave when Tina Griffith leans her boobs on my arms and puts her face near me.

“You are coming to my party, aren’t you? We’re going to blow it up. My parents are out of town and everything. It’s gonna be craaaazzy. Youhaveto come.”

Boobs. On my arm. My brain kind of shut down. “Yeah. Sure.” Tina inadvertently bumps into my knee and I wince, breaking my daze. Right. Party. Ouch. My knee. My eyes flit to Claire. “I’ll have to bring Claire with me, but you’re cool with that right?”

“Why do you have to bringher?” Tina asks, shooting a look that could kill in Claire’s direction. The cattiness pisses me off, considering Claire has been there for me a hell of lot more than Tina, Emily, or any of them ever have. Claire has been nothing but kind, generous, and caring. She’s done nothing to deserve Tina treating her like crap. I’m angry to the point of seeing red and speak without thinking. It’s stupid, and impulsive, and terrifying, but in the moment, I don’t care.

SIX

CLAIRE

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