Page 74 of Those Heartbreak Scars

“Thank you.”

“But you need to forgive me too. I made stupid decisions as well. Tonight—”

I fuse our mouths together, using my tongue to edge her lips apart so that I can kiss her the way I’ve been dying to kiss her for weeks now. Claiming her sweet mouth back from him with gentleness and patience. Eradicating his kiss with my own.

She untucks my shirt and rests her palms on my abs. Seeking closeness even though she’s still shaken up.

I turn us around so that I’m standing while she’s sitting. Her thighs rest on my hips as we kiss and kiss and kiss. I curl my hands into fists to resist scraping them along the outside of her thigh to her naked ass. After what she went through earlier, there’s no way I’m pushing her.

Everett had no clue what he asked of her, or how the part of her that works so hard to hide her differences also makes her want to people please, to her own detriment. It took me too long to realize that was what was happening, but the fear when she locked eyes with me… I’ll spend a long time with that on my mind.

Trying to fit in all her life made her vulnerable in ways that a lot of people will never understand.

A few times over the years, we’ve talked about how she desperately wants to belong, but never gets to feel like she does. Between her culture, her upbringing, and her ASD creating rejection sensitivity dysphoria, it’s always right there in the back of her mind that she never can.

Like me, the closest she got to belonging was with Indy and EJ. But at the end of the day we’re still alone. We don’t belong.

But maybe we could find that belonging in each other. She certainly feels like she is meant to be in my arms. Her lips feel like they were made to fit mine. I want her hands smoothing over my skin and the little hum she makes as we kiss.

The dog is still barking, and someone flips a light on and sticks their head out a window to tell the mutt to shut up.

Another light illuminates a different part of the street as a man yells back, telling the first person to mind his own business.

A woman stumbles out of her house in her dressing gown and slippers. Yawning, she notices us. “Hey, you. What are you doing?”

America chuckles as we inch apart. “We should go.”

“Are you all right, miss?” the woman calls out.

“Better than,” America tells her while beaming at me.

“Great. Then can you and your boyfriend sod off and take it elsewhere? You’re aggravating my Randy.” She points at the rottweiler staring out over the windowsill.

“Yeah, bugger off,” the first man grumps as he comes out of his yard with the garden hose. “Camilla, turn the water on.”

“We’re going.” I lift my hands in surrender. “Just give us a min-ahhhh.”

America laughs as I jump away from the icy spray, then screams when she’s smacked with the freezing cold water.

“Turn it off,” I say between gritted teeth. “We were going. You didn’t need to do that.”

“Barry, you always go too far.” The woman who owns the rottweiler yells at her neighbor. “Camilla, can’t you get your husband under control?”

“Get in the car.” I laugh as we both run to escape the spray.

“Oh my God.” America pants as we slam our doors at the same time. “That was…”

“Extreme. Cranky old bastard.” I unbutton and strip out of my sodden shirt. Toss it on the backseat with the tie I discarded earlier, while she yanks off her pretty top and sits in front of me in her bra.

“So wild.” She grabs my face and plants her lips on mine.

“Hotel or home?” I ask as my eyes settle on her generous curves. “Fuck, I want you to say hotel. But I’ll understand if you want to go home.”

She yelps as the spray slaps the windscreen. Dives into my arms. “Hotel. Of course hotel. Nan ni-kkeoya.”

“You know that’s not fair. I don’t know what you said.” Still, my breath caught like it was something important. Because America has become much more than simply someone I care about as a friend.

“Just drive.” She laughs.

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