Page 65 of Those Heartbreak Scars

Chapter Twenty-Four

Gray

“You all right, babes?” Dove slurs, her heavy head resting against my shoulder. Her fake silver talons tickle over my bicep while she drags in a lungful of watermelon scented vapor. On the table in front of her is an almost empty cocktail glass with a cherry in it, and a second Rusty Nail is lined up and waiting. “You don’t have a very good poker face.”

It’s been a long week courting Everett, who seems to be dragging his feet on signing with All-Star. I can’t fathom why when I’ve jumped through every hoop to get him what he wants.

It’s been a long week for Dove as well. I don’t know exactly what happened with her, but from the small amount of information I’ve gleaned it’s no surprise that she’s staying off the dance floor and drinking instead. Or that she’s wearing a brunette wig over her usual platinum halo in an effort to not be recognized. There’s been a big shift in the girl I met in Positano so many months ago.

“You don’t either.” I lift my old fashioned to my lips and swallow a good mouthful while I watch America dance with Everett. She’s all smiles and he has his hands all over her. On her body. In her hair which is no longer in braids, but flat ironed past her shoulders.

Every now and then she looks in my direction like she’s checking to see whether I’m watching. Does she want me to see what I lost? Or is she wishing that it was my hands on her body? My lips against her neck. Does she long for me to do somethingabout this situation? Christ, I want to do something about this situation.

Watching them together is killing me. It’s been like this all week. Every day I’ve tried to get him to sign and ended up watching him touch her. Kiss her. Make her smile. Make her giggle and her cheeks grow pink. It’s fucking torture. She should be with me. She could be mine. If I hadn’t fucked it all up with her.

Instead we’re keeping the peace.

I supported her while she called time on her doctorate and while she reported the professor. I was right behind her when she stormed into his wife’s office and laid out what her husband was doing under her nose. The wife broke down. She had suspicions, but had chosen to bury her head in the sand.

I’m so done with burying my head in the sand. I can’t breathe while she’s dancing with him. I can’t sleep knowing she’s sleeping next to him. When I had her in my bed I was terrified to wake up missing Indy. Funny how I don’t care about that anymore.

But it’s too late. I made my choice, and America made hers. What can I do but let her be happy? She wants more than I can probably ever give her. She feels more than I’m willing to. Everett let it slip the day she chose him. He didn’t need to know it was me to know she has real feelings for someone who isn’t him.

So I need to let her go. Get his signature on the dotted line. And get the hell out of here. The sooner the better.

“I’m going to make a phone call,” Dove says, using my shoulder to help herself up. She disappears into the crowd.

I sit there alone until I can’t stand it anymore, then move to the bar where I can stand with my back to them. At some point a woman takes the seat beside me. She’s petite and blonde and reminds me of Indy. So much so I almost assume I’ve conjured her again.

But she doesn’t have anything smart to say that will irk me the wrong way. She doesn’t pay me any mind at all.

It’s not agony to sit here and think of Indy, like it is to watch America and Everett all over each other. I miss Indy though. And I still hate her for the way things unfolded. And I hate him. But it’s different now, I guess. It’s definitely not the same.

Another woman bellies up to the bar on my other side. When we accidentally make eye contact, I feel obliged to acknowledge it. “Hey.”

She smiles friendly. “Hi.”

I move away from the bar before it can go any further. I’m not interested in making small talk with her or anyone. The one girl I want to talk to doesn’t want me around.

Hopefully Dove will have found her way back, so I won’t be alone in my suffering. But she’s still MIA when I get back to our spot, and that doesn’t sit well. I’m ready to go looking for her except that Everett isn’t with America, and EJ would have my balls if I didn’t watch over her.

She hesitates for a moment when she catches me watching, then storms over. “You have to get him to sign. I need you out of my life, Gray. I can’t have you staring at me all the time. Looking at me like this.”

“Like what?” I play it off, knowing exactly how I’m staring at her.

“That,” she snaps at me, eyes full of anguish. “Like I’m hurting you.”

“You are hurting me.” I shouldn’t have let it slip. Shouldn’t have said a word. It hurts me to keep my distance. Makes me ache to see her with him.

“Don’t.” She shakes her head as she backs up a step. “Don’t do that. I’m with Everett. You can’t make me feel bad about that.”

I take that step. I can’t help it. Lean down so that she can process my voice out of all the other noises in here. “Don’t worry, I plan to be out of here as quickly as I can. Watching you with him is a train wreck for me too.”

“Then close the deal,” she snaps.

“I’m trying.” I tower over her, desperate to grab her and kiss her. My body is shaking from how hard it is to keep control of myself. “He’s testing me or something. Testing my loyalty. Making sure I’ll bend over backwards to get him what he wants.”

“So do that. Show him you can get him what he wants so I can have what I want. You…” She presses her lips into a thin line and shakes her head. “Gone.”

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