Page 54 of Those Heartbreak Scars

“I just need a few more days. A week at most.” He follows me up the garden path to my front door. “He’ll sign. Especially if you encourage him.”

“This isn’t okay, Gray. It isn’t fair.” I can’t seem to find my keys. And I’m already running scripts in my head of the conversation I’ll need to have with Everett tomorrow. Already certain that I will not betray Gray no matter how mad I am at him.

“I need this job, Rica. And he’ll be over you in no time.”

Ouch. I swallow around the lump in my throat. “Really? You want to insult me right now?”

“I didn’t mean it like that.”

“He’s the one who wanted me to be his girlfriend.” I resume the hunt for my keys. Seriously, this bag isn't a Mary Poppins carpet bag. It’s tiny. I have ChapStick and loose change and my ID in here. Where are they? “Not you. Him.”

“America, please—”

“I need my meds upped to deal with you.” Ah, there they are. I yank the keys out of my clutch.

“Meds?” Gray sounds concerned as I unlock and open the door.

“Things haven’t been great since… that thing we don’t talk about,” I admit. “I don’t know why. I have nothing to complain about. But my doctor thinks I’m mildly depressed so I’m on an anti-depressant.”

He wraps an arm around my waist and holds my back to his chest. His chin rests in my hair. “Your best friend was dying. It was traumatic and painful and there was nothing you could do. You have every reason not to be okay.”

“Do I?” When she was the one that was dying. And he’s the one who had his heart shattered.

I’m so glad that she didn’t die. I’m so grateful every single time I get to pick up the phone and hear her voice. But that makes it feel like I should just be happy. Not guilty for being sad. Or feeling isolated and lonely. Or doing something that will hurt her. Like sleeping with Gray.

“Yes, Rica.” He drags in a big breath. His chest deflates against my back. The warmth of it surges over my scalp. “If you need someone to talk to, I’m here.”

I want to relax into his arms and never leave them. I want to let him carry the heaviness in my heart. He said he would learn to deal with hearing about her for me.

Apparently, all I have to do is lie to Everett. Hurt him. But I can’t do that anymore than I can let Gray down. I can’t be the reason people I care about aren’t happy. I would rather be the collateral damage than hurt either of them. Everett means something to me too.

What Gray is asking is too much. After what happened with Indy and Theo I can’t believe that he is. “You make me crazy, so it’s a good thing I’m on them, or I would probably kick your ass tonight.”

“Indy, I wouldn’t ask if—”

My heart sinks. Wishes and dreams don’t come true. Heartbreak doesn’t end until it’s ready to. Gray’s love for Indy was always so strong, I’ve been fooling myself thinking it could be any other way.

“Shit.” He looks shell-shocked. “I didn’t mean—”

“Don’t worry. I’ll handle Everett,” I say coolly. “He’ll have no reason not to sign with you. It’s what Everett wants anyway.”

“Thank you.” He pushes his hands into his pockets, his shoulders hunched around his ears.

“But this…” I point between us. “You and me… it’s over.”

“America.” He glances over his shoulder as a car trundles down the street. “Please.”

“No, Gray. I mean it.” I start to shut the door in his face.

He reaches out and grabs it, holding it ajar. “I’m sorry.”

“Me too.”

“We’ll still be friends, won’t we?”

“I don’t think so.” My heart is breaking. “A friend wouldn’t ask me to do what you just did. A friend wouldn’t let someone hurt me like you just did. You want me to make sure Everett signs, I will. I’ll be a good WAG and get my man to sign on the dotted line.”

“You’re not his—”

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