Page 87 of Those Heartbreak Scars

“I won’t,” she promises.

“I’m going to make sure you don’t.” Using my fingers to hold her open, I bury my tongue in her pussy. Taste every inch that I can get to. Explore all the folds and creases until she’s squirming for me. I coat my tongue and lips with her. I tease her clit withmy teeth. “Such a beautiful pussy deserves to be worshipped. Often.”

Her breathing turns hard and fast, each exhale accompanied by a needy whimper.

She curls her fingers in my hair and watches me with a hooded, molten gaze while I devour her slowly and with purpose.

She’s going to go home, but she’s going to come back. I need her. I’m addicted to her. I’m falling for her. I don’t know that I can survive having my heart broken again. Not when I finally know what it’s like to be truly happy.

I spell out my feelings with my tongue on her pussy and push two fingers inside her, stroking those areas that make her fall apart for me. It doesn’t take long until she’s pulsing around me. Crying my name as she comes.

“You keep doing that, and I’ll be your woman forever,” she says while she comes down from the high.

I leave a trail of kisses down her thigh. “That a promise?”

She slips onto my lap. Her post orgasmic happiness is replaced with seriousness. She starts to tap her fingers, counting up and down the tips. “I’m going to tell her.”

I knew this was coming.

“I’m going to tell Indy that you and I are… well, whatever this is.”

“Whatever this is?” I want to tell her she’s my girlfriend, but we haven’t talked about it. I didn’t want to push her into something she isn’t ready for. I didn’t want her to say yes because she struggles to say no. I wanted her to want it so much that she asked me to label us. But she hasn’t. “Seeing each other.”

“Yes.” Her brow draws tight. “That’s what it is, isn’t it?”

No. It’s so much more. But the words clog my throat. “Sure.”

“Great.” Her stare becomes frozen and glassy. “I’m going to tell her that we’re seeing each other. She’s my best friend and she deserves to know. I can’t keep this secret from her… I just hope that she’ll forgive me for sneaking around with you behind her back.”

“And if she doesn’t? If she hates the idea of you and me together?”

“I don’t know.” She blows out a labored breath. “I don’t want to think about it. I don’t want to consider that being with you might mean I lose part of my family. It hurts too much. Especially when at some point I’ll want to move home. I can’t imagine getting married or having kids and Indy and Theo not being a part of that.”

I grow hot around the collar. “But you can imagine doing it without me?”

“I don’t want to,” she says. “That’s not what I’m saying.”

“You can imagine it? Yes, or no?”

“I can imagine it.” Her voice breaks. “But—"

“I won’t settle, Rica.” I lift her to her feet so I can get to mine. I need to move while I think. “And I don’t want you to. The last thing I want is for us to make each other miserable.”

“Gray, stop. I shouldn’t have said that. I don’t want anyone else. I only want you.”

“And Indy. And that prick she broke my heart for.” I can’t watch my Rica leave me and then decide that she isn’t coming back because her relationship with her best friend is more important. I can’t be with someone who can see her futurewithout me when she is the only thing that I see. I can’t go through that pain again. I won’t. “I will never move back to Chicago.”

“I get that’s how you feel right now, but maybe—”

“I think we should quit while we’re ahead.” I stumble backward out of her reach.

America’s face crumples. “Are you serious?”

“It’ll never work.” There’s a pang growing in my chest, but the words coming out of my mouth are unrelenting. “Not long term. You belong with your family, America. Not with me. You should go home. You should pack up all your things and move back to Chicago.”

“Gray, that’s not what I want.” She trails after me as I throw clothes in a bag and pick up my briefcase. “Nan ni-kkeoya.I… love you.”

“I’m sorry.” It doesn’t matter whether she means it. If she’s saying it because she thinks I need to hear it or because she thinks she should feel it. We’ll only end up hurting each other if we try to make this work. “I don’t want this.”

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