Page 84 of Those Heartbreak Scars

“Rub your clit for me, Rica. I don’t know how long I’m going to last with you squeezing me so tight.” He starts to move in slow, long thrusts while I use a finger on my clit. Building the dirty pleasure until it overwhelms us both.

The blinding orgasm recedes as we collapse on the bed. Gray wraps his arms around me while we both work to catch our breath.

He makes me feel treasured. Like I’m important. He’s given me a sense of belonging that I haven’t felt in a while. This past year I have been so adrift. When he eases out of me, I twist in his arms. Clasp his face and kiss him. “You haven’t done that before?”

“What do you think?” He smiles.

I think that my best friend did not understand the man she had at her side. She didn’t appreciate his loyalty, or his protective drive, or his prowess in the bedroom. She’s not a bad person for not knowing whose heart she was breaking. Some of us don’t make it easy to get to know the real us.

We hide in the cracks between what other people need from us to feel loved their way. We try our best to be their idea of what will make us lovable. Or even likable. Or on their level when it comes to intelligence, socializing, and fitting in.

“I think…” I love him more and more each day that we’re together. I think that I’m a little bit possessive too because I like that I got this moment with him.“Nan ni-kkeoya.”

He turns serious. “You always do that. But you never tell me what it means.”

I’m not ready to. I’ve loved him for so long, yet the idea of telling him that I’m his out loud in a language he understands is terrifying. “That I could use a shower. You got me all sweaty.”

“Oh, yeah. Me too.” Gray lifts me off my feet and carries me into the bathroom. He puts me down before he turns on the shower. “We make a great team, don’t we? In business. And the bedroom.”

“We do.” I clasp my hands around his neck when he comes in for another kiss. “And I think I know what I want to do with myself once we’re finished here.”

“Oh, you do?” He kisses my cheek, my ear, and starts a trail down my neck. “Do I get to be in on this important information?”

“Mmhmm.” I suddenly feel shy and awkward. Maybe I’m getting carried away. It’s only been a couple of weeks. That’s not a lot of time to be certain. But it makes sense. “I want to be a translator. That’s what I’ve been doing these last couple of weeks for you, and I love it.”

I love working with Gray. Watching him do what he’s good at, what he’s passionate about. But it’s also given me a chance to put my own passions into practice. I feel like I belong by his side.That I’m accomplishing things I can be proud of. And the idea of helping people who struggle to communicate across language barriers… it feels like exactly what I should be doing.

“You want to keep working for me?” His brow lowers. His fingers flex on my hips.

“No.” I steam ahead. “Yes, maybe. That’s not the point. I’m enjoying working with you, but that’s not why I want to be a translator. I want to work with people who feel isolated because of language barriers. I’ve spent my entire life dealing with a social barrier that makes it hard for people to understand or even like me.”

“People like you,” he says. “I wish you could see how much they like you. How much I do.”

My cheeks heat as I duck my head. “If I can help someone with language, then that’s what I should be doing. Though if you asked me to stay on, I wouldn’t say no. You know that.”

“You’re serious about this, aren’t you?”

“I am.” I was already in the right field with linguistics, but this is a use of my skills that feels right.

A knowing smile turns up the corners of his mouth. There is a gleam in his eye that makes me warm all over. “You would be incredible at it, Rica.”

“Do you really think so?” I bask in his confidence.

He tips my chin up. Kisses me. “I know it. Watching you work these last couple of weeks has been amazing.”

He takes his time kissing me, and I revel in the attention.

“So what’s your first step?” he asks when we break apart.

“I’m not sure. I’ll have to find out if I’ll need to go back to school.”

“Is that a possibility?” His shoulders stiffen.

“I’ll have to look into it. But…” I take a deep breath. This is the part he won’t like… the part I’ve been thinking about a lot lately. Ever since Indy told me about the trip to the Dells. The one I have yet to bring up with Gray though I mean to every day. It’s only a couple of weeks away now. “If I do, I think I want to finish school at home. In Chicago.”

He turns away to check the water temperature, but with the way he angles so that I can’t see his face I have no doubt he’s trying to hide his response from me.

Of course the idea of going back to Chicago doesn’t have the same effect on him that it has on me. I miss my family. I miss my bestie. I miss deep dish pizza. And Italian beef sandwiches. I miss watching the Cubs play at Wrigley Field.

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