Page 73 of Those Heartbreak Scars

“I hadn’t finished.”

“I’m going to fly over there and kick this asshole in the balls.”

“He didn’t want to be the reason, Indy.” I raise my voice as a car rumbles up the street. A few houses down a dog starts to bark. “It’s such a mess. He quit his job. And I…”

The car slows as it reaches me, pulls to the side behind me. My pulse quickens as I turn around.

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Gray

Leaving the car idling, I jump out and stride toward America. It’s been the longest hour. It’s been a long night in general, but the last hour, driving the streets searching for her had me on the worst kind of edge.

She should be safe out here on her own, but that’s not always the case. And after Mann’s assholery the idea that anyone else might try something had my adrenaline pumping while I combed the streets. I’m not worried about him though. After America left, I made it clear that from now on, he’ll have to go through me to get to her.

That delusional prick really planned all that because he thinks America is the reason he wins games. All-Star can have him if they can get him to sign. I want nothing to do with him.

I only wish I’d made the decision to quit weeks ago.

“I’ll call you back,” America hangs up on whoever she was talking to.

Probably, almost definitely, Indy. For the first time in a long time it’s not anger or agony, but relief that fills me. America wasn’t alone while she was reeling. She had her best friend in her corner.

“Rica. Thank God. I’ve been worried.” I wrap my arm around her shoulder and usher her to the car. Somewhere close by a dog is barking loud enough to wake the neighborhood.

“I’m fine.” She balks in the brightness of the headlights. Angling away from me she takes her time putting her phone away.

“Bullshit.” How could she be fine after what happened with Everett? How could I let it get so far tonight? There’s a sour taste in my mouth over my behavior. My throat grows thick. I can barely stand to look her in the eyes, but she deserves so much more from me. “I should have jumped in quicker. I should have flattened that asshole before it ever got to that point. I never should have given you the idea that you needed to compromise yourself so I could keep a job. I should have quit weeks ago. I’m sorry.”

She shifts her weight from foot to foot. “Your job is everything to you. Signing Everett was a huge deal. And you quit. Why?”

“Because it’s just a job. I can find another way to do the job that I love. But I couldn’t let you do that.”

“But I chose him,” she says. “I almost had sex with him in front of you. I saw the look on your face. How hurt and disgusted you were.”

“I was disgusted at myself.” I sit on the hood of the car. Curling my hands around her hips I bring her between my thighs. After everything with her creep professor… I know how hard it is for her to say no, especially to people she cares about. For a moment I really did believe she was choosing him. Until I saw in her eyes the same riot of emotions taking place in my chest. “Because you probably felt like I didn’t give you a choice. I made my job more important than you. I made you believe there was nothing here for you except sex. And honestly, I believed that was the truth.”

“It isn’t?” The tension melts from her.

“You were ready to give him what he wanted so that I could get what you thought I wanted, weren’t you? I read that correctly, didn’t I? It wasn’t what you wanted?” It felt so obvious to me, but perhaps I read into the situation what I wanted to see.

She nods.

The sudden pang in my chest fades, though it’s replaced with regret. I still hate that it came to this for me to finally realize there was just one solution. “That was not what I wanted. What I want is you. And I should have been clear weeks ago. I should never have let you doubt that. Or put you in the position I did.”

“I was the one that decided to keep dating him,” she says, lifting my hand so she can inspect my knuckles. She rubs her thumb along the ridges. They’re sore and they’ll bruise, but I don’t care. The pain is good.

“Because I pushed you away.” I draw her closer. I’ve learned my lesson. “Even though I wanted you. I want you.”

“You want me?” The corners of her mouth turn up.

“Look, I don’t want to tell you that I feel as strongly for you as you feel for me, because you feel things more strongly than anyone I know. When you’re mad, you’re, like, set the world on fire mad.”

She rolls her eyes.

“And when you’re sad you break hearts with it. When you’re happy, though, I need that in my life so fucking much.” I twist her in my arms and sit her on the hood between my legs. I brush my lips along her jaw as I splay my hands over her belly. “When you’re sexy. When you care. Your feelings are making me feel things that aren’t just bitterness, Rica. I want that. I want you. I want to see where this goes. Please forgive me.”

“I forgive you.” She takes my face in her hands and nibbles on my bottom lip. “Of course I’ll forgive you.”

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