Page 18 of Those Heartbreak Scars

“What?” My head spins and the floor drops. I release him so I can clutch at the edge of the counter.

He pulls out and tucks his dick back into his pants. I feel empty in more than one way. I’m hollowed out. “After what we—”

“It shouldn’t have happened.” He shakes his head, stumbling back. He looks ill.

“Like Positano shouldn’t have happened.” I grow chilled from the inside out. How dare he chase me in here and… now he’s…asshole. “Because you could never be with me twice, right? That might suggest you could date me, and we both know that would never happen.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” he splutters. “When did we ever discuss dating?”

“We didn’t,” I say icily. “You told EJ that you could never date me.”

His jaw hardens and his eyes turn cold. “Is this why you couldn’t answer a damn text? Because you overheard a conversation that had nothing to do with you?”

“Nothing to do with me?” I scoff as I hop off the counter. “You said it was a mistake. You said you could never be with me after we slept together. Like I’m the last person you could imagine being with. I know I’m not Indy, but—”

“No.” He rubs his hand over his mouth. “You’re not Indy. That’s exactly why I said what I said. I’m still not okay with what happened with Indy. I’m not over it… I’m not over her. You need to understand—”

“No. You need to understand.” My eyes burn, but I blink away the wetness that wants to spring free as I hurry to straighten myself up. He doesn’t want me and I need to be okay with that. I’ve had years to get used to that. But this… for one crazy minute I let myself have hope. “You need to leave me alone.”

“Rica.” He sounds exasperated.

“Don’t talk to me. Don’t you dare.” I fix my makeup in the mirror and check my hair. The color in my cheeks is heightened. Will Everett be able to tell what happened between me and Gray by looking at me?

“You’re right. Everett and I will be good together.” I pick up my clutch. There are a million things I want to say. Like, we used to be friends, or this will never happen again, or I hate you. I definitely want to hate him. “Everett is waiting for me.”

“America, I’m sorry.”

“Great.” I walk away from him. I don’t care if he’s sorry. I don’t care if he means it. God knows how I am supposed to pretend everything is okay when Gray’s cum is leaking down my thigh. When all I want to do is cry.

The bathroom door swings shut between us, and I start my walk of shame. My thighs slip against one another with every step. I cradle my clutch in front of my stomach. Bile rises up my throat.

“Better?” Everett asks when I take my seat. His hand finds my knee while he studies my face with concern.

“Yes,” I say woodenly, praying he won’t move his hand higher, and that he doesn’t see anything in my face that makes him suspicious. I can’t see him again, not after what I’ve done. But working with Gray could do a lot for his career. I won’t be the reason he chooses not to sign with him. “Just needed a minute. But I’m good now.”

“Certain?” He’s so worried about me it makes my heart ache. Why can’t I turn off these feelings for a man who doesn’t want me? Who will never want me.

“Yes.”

He leans forward and brushes his lips against mine as Gray comes back to the table. When he slips his tongue into my mouth and kisses me like he’s checking every crevice for hidden secrets, I let him. I lean into it. I kiss him back with the same passion. How can I not without making it obvious something is wrong?

Everett smiles when he pulls back, checking out my swollen lips by rolling his thumb over the bottom one. “That’s better.”

“Shall we get back to business?” Gray says, cutting into his steak with sharp, jagged movements that scrape the plate.

“I like what you’re offering so far. How long will it take you to get me transferred to a team in the States?”

“Where are you hoping to go?” Gray asks him while glowering at me.

What right does he have to be upset with me right now? I can’t stand to lock eyes with him, so I turn all my attention to Everett.

“Chicago.” Everett’s hand slides from my knee to mid-thigh.

I scramble to cover his hand and halt his progress.

He frowns. “Everything okay?”

“Yes.” I glare at Gray while I turn Everett’s hand palm up and slip my fingers between his.

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