Page 14 of Those Heartbreak Scars

As much as he’s hinted at wanting me to watch him practice and then meet the team, he hasn’t actually asked me to show up. Which I’m grateful for since I’m not ready. I like this intimate bubble we’ve been enjoying. “A little privacy please, babe.”

“I need to go to the studio anyway.” Dove makes a face like she’d prefer to do anything else, probably because she’s been putting in insane hours on this new album. “Nathan thinks track three needs a redo.”

“Oh.” I pout. “That’s the happy, sunshine one, isn’t it? I love this version.”

“Yeah, I love it too.” Her expression is pinched.

She hasn’t been okay since we came back from our trip three months ago. There seems to be this dark cloud over her all the time.

On the other hand, there haven’t been any more bruises since we came home from Positano. No fingerprints on her flesh. None that I’ve seen at least. Just exhaustion.

She’s so tired the bags under her eyes have dark purple bags of their own. Her voice is getting more strained by the day. Nathan is literally draining the fun out of her like some kind of energy sucking vampire.

Every time I bring up how bone-weary and unhappy she seems, she tells me she’s fine. That when the album is done, she’ll be her usual self. She’s passionate about music, but the things that we’re passionate about shouldn’t be taking this kind of toll.

When I asked why she keeps letting Nathan boss her around like he does, she told me he knows what he’s doing and that he’s pushing her to make the best album she can. It’s what she wants, so I should leave it alone.

I don’t know that much about music production beyond what I’ve learned living with her. But it seems like there’s something more to it given the way she stares off into space sometimes. Like that trip to Positano caused more trouble than it was worth.

That weekend left an indelible mark on my soul too. I don’t know if it was more painful to love Gray without hope, or to still have these emotions and a whole lotta regret too. I swallow the bitterness back.

“You are so beautiful.” Everett kisses my cheek. His lips caress the spot where my neck and shoulder meet while his hands smooth over my ass and bring me closer. “Sexy.”

“And on that note, I am so out.” Dove turns tail and leaves us to it.

“Kinda wishing I could cancel this dinner. Order some takeout and spend all evening in your bed,” Everett says, chasing away any thoughts besides how nice that would be.

“That sounds like heaven.” I take his jaw between my hands and bring his focus to my face. “But you made this meeting sound important.”

He groans and his grip on my ass slackens. “It could be. It could unlock a lot of opportunities that I haven’t had access to. There’s the possibility of a move stateside. I know you’re considering going home at some point.”

“Perhaps.” I smooth my hands over his shirt, his chest hard under the material. I’m not comfortable with him taking me into consideration when making such a monumental choice. “It’s too soon to be planning your future around us, isn’t it? We’re just having fun.”

“We’re good together, aren’t we? You like me, right?”

“I do, but—”

“I adore you, Lucky Charm.” He hugs me to his chest.

“But what if it doesn’t work out? I’m not a relationship type of girl.” I gave away my heart too young. To a man who could never want it. And every relationship since has been a disaster.

I’m even more wary since the mess with my professor. I told Everett that when he first asked me out. I don’t know if I will—if I can—ever fall in love again, but with Everett it at least feels like a possibility. “Please don’t plan a move because you think it’ll make me happy. What we have is far too new for that.”

“All right. I won’t plan my eventual move to the States around you.” He stares into my eyes. “How about I make it based on the fact that every year the UK brings in more foreign players and discards UK players, while America is recruiting UK talent andpaying us well to play? Or that it would be cool to live in the US for a while.”

“That makes sense.”

“And because the girl I’m casually having fun with right now will eventually fall for me. And I know that she’s homesick. At some point you’re going to move home. I might as well be prepared.” He grins boyishly. It’s charming and a little cocky, like to him we’re a done deal.

“Everett.” I scowl. Even though it’s somewhat true. I do miss my family. But this is exactly what I don’t want him to do.

Taking my face between both hands, he turns solemn. “Trust me. I get it. I promise, I’ve been thinking about a move for some time now.”

“Okay.” I’m not there yet with ‘us.’ I don’t know what my future looks like. I don’t know what I’m going to do career wise. I haven’t been able to bring myself to tell my parents that I’m no longer attending classes. They’ll probably disown me. But I do know I need to stop thinking about a man who wouldn’t date me if I was the last girl in the world, when I have one who is already imagining me as part of his future. “Help me pick out what to wear?”

He takes my hand and draws me back into the closet. “Show me my options.”

“This gold one.” I hold up the lush ruffles and then the purple jumpsuit. “Or this one.”

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