Page 18 of Sexy Bad Escort

That’smy best friend. A woman witha plan. Just like the woman her mother-in-law now believesI’m dating.

Me.Dating. Even better: Ronniedating. Me.

“I heardsomething interesting from my mother-in-law a little whileago.”

Speakingof… “Oh yeah? I swear, I’m not the one who taught Abby how tosayfuck.”

Hermouth falls open. “Abby saidfuck?She’s four, Danny. How could you?”

“I justsaid it wasn’t me.”

“There is noone else in her life who would teach her that.”

“Besidesher dad, youmean.”

“He’sgotten way better.Plus,we’ve been gone for two weeks. So, how did it happen?”

Irub my finger through thecondensation on the bottle’s label and then come clean. “I took herto this exotic pet store. The guy had just taken in this parrotfrom a rescue league. He didn’t know the bird’s favorite wordisfuck. At least,not until we were there.”

Sheleans back in her chairand chuckles. “This would only happen to you. Speaking of…you andRonnie?”

I don’tsay anything. Justworkon sucking down the beer she brought me.

“MamaFrost seems to be under the impression there is something going onbetween you two,” she adds. “Claims she saw you kissing. I thinkshe’s already begun crocheting baby blankets.”

“Christ.”

Erin hasbeen my best friend since high school, since the day I hit on herand she said, “You’re only acting this way to try to get under yourdad’s skin, and I’m notthat kind of girl anyway.” Yes, she literally said that. And we’vebeen friends and confidants ever since.

And yetI’m sitting here contemplating lying to her. Okay, maybe not lying,perse, because intruth, I don’t know what’s going on. Yes, I deliberately ledCynthia to believe Ronnie and I are dating, but it was onlysupposed to be a ploy to get her off Ronnie’s back, to convince herto quit trying to set her daughter up with every available jock onher meddling mother radar. I figured we’d let the charade go on fora few weeks, until one or the other of her sons announced anotherpregnancy—it’s bound to happen—and then we’d stage an amicablebreakup and go about our merry lives.

But thenI kissed her.That damnkiss.

Itwasn’t supposed tohappen. Wasn’t even really a kiss, not a full one anyway. It wasbarely there, a little brush of skin and the tiniest nip,practically nothing.

And myballs have been blue ever since. No matter how many times Ispank the monkey, no matter howmany cold showers, how much alcohol I try to drown in, doesn’tmatter.

I wantmore. I want to deepen the kiss, to lift my hands and twine them inher hair. I want to runmy fingers along her cheek, onto her chest, trace them downthe plunging neckline of that shirt that made me almost swallow mytongue when she first walked out of her bedroom. What if she’ddressed conservatively—would this have happened? Or would Ben havepanicked and made an excuse to end their afternoon date early? ThenI’d still be chasing her for the thrill of the chase, she’d stillbe keeping me at arm’s length, and life would be justpeachy.

“I’m a hotmess, Erin.”

“This isnews?”

“I’mserious.”

“Okay,thatisnews. BecauseDanny Harrison is never serious. Not ever.”

“Forgetit then. I won’t talk toyou.” I start to stand, and she grabs my arm, holds me inplace.

“Okay,okay, I’m sorry. Tell mewhat’s really going on.”

I moveawayanyhow, to thesmall beer fridge I purchased with my first Rent-A-Danny paycheck,and extract two more brewskies. As I hand one to her, I drop backinto my lounger, stare out at the yard that slopes down to a small,secluded lake. I can see Erin’s pet duck down there, lazilyswimming near the shoreline. Paynter and Chloe’s goat is next doorin its pen, bleating occasionally. Undoubtedly, James and Myra’scat is somewhere nearby, too, possibly sitting on the beach,watching the duck, contemplating dinner.

Or maybenot, since for some strange reason, all three animals getalong like siblings.Like Ronnie and her brothers. They may bicker on occasion, but thereality is, they love each other with this bond I may be slightlyjealous of. God knows I don’t have that relationship with mybrother. But then again, he’s just like my dad, and the old man andI don’t have a relationship at all.

“Ronniequit her job, moved back to Chicagowhile you were off honeymooning,” I tellErin.

“That’s great.I mean, that is great, right?”

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