Page 61 of It's Holy Matrimony, Baby

“That there won’t be as many oranges to worry about next season.” Her brow crinkles. “That’s a positive, right?”

“Yeah, Angel.” I glance around at what’s left. Have to assess the damage and work out how many trees are still viable. Work out whether to chop them down or let them be. “That’s a good thing.”

“Okay, good.” She fidgets with a strand of her hair and tucks it behind her ear as though putting away her worries about this being a sign. Please let that be the case. “What did you want to say?”

“We should go inside. I bought coffee and cupcakes while I was in town. Thought you could do with a pick me up after last night.”

“I could use a good strong cup.” She nods.

“I have to get back to work soon,” I tell her as we walk through the grove to the path that leads up to the cabin. I don’t want to leave her here to stare at the destruction the storm caused. Don’t want her mind on it. “Do you want to come with me?”

“Okay.” She smiles. “I can bring my laptop and work in the truck.”

I call Liv when I get a chance. It’s mid-afternoon and Beck’s cross-legged in the cab, her laptop balanced on her lap. I have no idea what she’s working on. She refuses to show me. So naturally I’m fucking curious.

She glances in the side mirror and gives me a smile while I stand near the truck bed waiting for my call to connect. The guys from the hardware store are busy unloading their order.

I wave to her and scuff the dirt with my boot. The more time I have to think about how to tell her about the deal with Liv the more likely it becomes that Beck will think I’m only staying married to her for the money and the studio.

I might be able to convince her I didn’t know that I needed her signature to sell the studio and that marrying her kept it out of Lena’s grabby paws, especially since I could ask Dad’s estate lawyer to back me up. But coupled with the fact that I refused to sign the papers to start with because of the money? She’s going to hate me. Keeping it from her doesn’t sit well in my gut though. If there’s any chance of her forgiving me I have to come clean.

As soon as Liv picks up, I burst out with, “I have to tell her about the money.”

“You can’t,” she says.

“I have to. Can’t keep it from her. She’s going to find out at some point.” I walk away from the truck and Beck’s occasional glimpses through the mirror.

“That’s if she stays,” Liv says. “If you tell her she’s not going to stick around.”

“If I don’t she’ll leave anyway.” Fuck. It’s a catch 22. I’m screwed. Worse than when Lena was trying to take everything. “Either way I’m letting her down. If I tell her now though, it might not be so bad. Maybe she’ll understand why I had to take you up on your offer. Maybe I can make her see that how I feel about her isn’t related to the money.” I hope so. It feels like lies as the words come out of my mouth.

“I have no doubt she’ll understand,” Liv says. “She cares about you a lot. More than I thought she would.”

“Is that so?” I take my first full breath since Liv answered.

“Yes, but I’m not sure it’ll be enough to keep her from leaving. And if she does that your money goes with her.”

So much for breathing. Losing Beck... the idea crushes my lungs. Losing the money... I’m letting my family down again. It feels like the earth should open under me. No. I can survive without the money. “I was doing fine before you came along with your deal. I can do it again. But I can’t say the same about her. I don’t want to lose her.”

Liv takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. She sounds defeated. “So how do you want to handle telling her?”

“Don’t know,” I grumble as I rub the back of my neck. “You know her better than I do. You’re her best friend. Figured you might have some advice. Or at least that you should have a heads up since I’m not the only one in this situation, Liv. You set this ball in motion. And you haven’t told her either.”

“I haven’t exactly hidden it from her,” she says, but uncertainty leaks into her voice.

I turn on my heel and walk back toward the truck. “You haven’t been open with her. I don’t know that she’ll notice the distinction.”

“You’re right.” She sighs. “Of course you’re right. She’s been so shut off for so long. I had hope, you know, when she told me she married you. Hope that she could actually be happy and human again. That she could finally deal with what happened. I had to give her a push. Like she would have for me. But I’ve made everything worse, haven’t I?”

“Christ. I can’t answer that.” Without Liv I would have signed the papers and let Beck go. She wouldn’t have stuck around. I wouldn’t know the girl I married. Wouldn’t be aware of how caring and smart she is. Wouldn’t be feeling this loss that’s threatening to swallow me up. Can’t wish for that.

“Okay. We’ll tell her,” Liv says. “We’ll tell her together. Maybe it will help soften the blow.”

“Fuck, I hope so,” I say as I catch another smile from Beck. Maybe she’ll understand. Stick around. Let me prove how much she means to me. “When?”

“Give me a couple days. I’m actually in New York at the moment. My board called an emergency meeting. But I’ll be back in Reverence in forty-eight hours.”

“A couple days?” I can handle that. What’s two more days when I’ve kept this information from Beck for weeks? Have to work out how to get her to understand anyway.

“As soon as I get back,” Liv promises. “I’ll call you. We’ll work out how to tell her. Together.”

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