Page 48 of It's Holy Matrimony, Baby

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

Romance is a sexy man, fixing furniture.

Without mentioning how incompetent you are.

Because you couldn’t follow directions.

#hottip. Have a bucket handy to catch the drool.

BECK

Nox doesn’t answer, but his face says a lot. The way his brows draw close together across his normally clear blue eyes that darken, and he scrapes his hair back from his face uneasily suggests it’s more than a dislike of citrus. My heart gives a funny little start. “You don’t have to tell me. Forget I asked.”

A few of the pickers move toward us toting bags and gardening gloves. They wave as they pass. A couple stop to say goodbye. Pretty quickly after that it’s him and me again. I almost want to go back to that spot under the tree with his hands on me and his filthy words in my ear. I’m not sure I want to know why he hates these trees.

He glances around at the bare fruit trees. A heavy breath shifts his chest and his shoulders slump. “Were you aware some people believe that orange trees are a symbol of a strong relationship?”

I’m the wrong person to ask that question. All I see is branches and leaves. “That’s a lot of importance to place on a tree.”

“Yeah, I thought so.” He shakes his head and shoves his hands deep in his pockets. “They weren’t my decision. But the woman I was with...she wanted them. She kept on about them and how they were a symbol of our relationship.”

“So you gave them to her?” I rub at my arm, goose bumps forming on my skin. Did he ever think about giving her the ring that was on my finger that night in Vegas before I lost it? Was she meant to have it and him, and I somehow ended up ruining his life?

“I gave her a lot of things,” he says. “Too many things. And she took everything I gave and then some. But she left me with this symbol. And the oranges that start to rot when I don’t have time to deal with them because I’m still trying to put my life back together.”

“You’re not over her?” I ask, and I don’t know why, because it shouldn’t matter. But it does. The idea pinches and claws at my gut. Jealous stabs of insecurity that shouldn’t be there at all because I don’t want him to be free to care for me. It would be better for both of us if he didn’t. Especially when I can’t stop these emotions that are developing inside me.

“We were together for a long time. We got engaged. I thought we were going to be together forever.” He exhales deeply, and it’s tinged with regret. “She wasn’t who I thought she was though. In the end. She caused a lot of damage.” He grasps my hand. “She cleared out my bank accounts. Left me in a bunch of debt. Destroyed what was left of Casey Records because her boss wanted the land it was on.” He lifts my hand to his chest and settles it there. “But I’m not bitter over her. And I’m not messed up because she left. She didn’t ruin everything. You can trust me on that, Angel.”

I peer at my hand on his chest, the one that should wear his ring, and up into his eyes. He’s focused only on me, like he’s trying to tell me more than what he’s saying. That he’s hoping I might catch his meaning through osmosis. Like he’s telling me he saved the best for me. Dropping my hand, I ask, “You didn’t give her Casey Records?”

“Couldn’t do it. Couldn’t give her my dad’s life work. He might have left it to me, but it belongs to my family. And after everything I’ve put them through... I’m going to rebuild it. I’m going to take what’s left of it and turn it into something my father would be proud of. Something my siblings can be proud of. I won’t let them down again. I just need time.”

“That’s why you work so much isn’t it?” Working himself to the bone to put his life back together. Because he believes it’s his fault that Casey Records is gone. Because he blames himself. Takes responsibility for everything.

“Mostly I’ve been playing catch up.” He smiles, his gaze lightening as he walks toward the cabin. “But things are starting to fall into place.”

“What things?” I fall into step with him.

“Hopefully in the next few months I’ll be able to start fixing up the property,” he says. “Restore the building. We still have the equipment. I still have contacts in the industry.”

“I’ll help,” I say. “If I can. If there’s anything I can do.” Even if I won’t be here. Even if I still have to find a way to make him let me go before we’re both in this too deep. “I can talk to my editor about some promotional articles. We could run a series about Casey Records. Get interviews with some of the musicians who worked with your dad. Start a fundraising page. I bet Sophie would help if you asked her to.”

He stops to stare at me. “You’re amazing. You know that?”

“What? What did I do?” I ask. I’m not suggesting anything amazing. Or offering him the money to do it. Although if I had it I might with the way he’s staring at me. Like I’m the only woman he could ever see.

“You’re smart. And you’re sweet.” He comes nearer. Picks up my hand and places a kiss to my palm. “And you’re beautiful. Marrying you might have been the best decision of my life.” He glances back at the orange grove. “Maybe the trees aren’t so bad after all either.”

“Still pretty sure the marriage shouldn’t have happened.” My heart skips all over the place. “And they’re still just trees.”

“Yeah.” His eyes crinkle, and he smirks. “But now when I look at them I’m going to think about my wife and how much she cares about me.”

“I do not.” I slap his chest, but I can’t quite bring myself to make the words sound convincing.

He cups the nape of my neck as he lowers his face to mine. The heat of his breath tickles my lips and they buzz with the need to be pressed to his. He graces my mouth with his in an easy kiss. The kind that should last for an eternity because every moment of it is tender. His tongue slides along mine while his hold on me tells me he could take whatever he wanted. That he always could. That the only choice I’ve ever had in this is when I will admit to myself that I could fall for him.

When he draws away, I run my fingers over my swollen, tender lips. I immediately miss his presence and the warmth of his kiss. How much more will I miss it when our time is up?

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