Page 26 of It's Holy Matrimony, Baby

“W-well, you didn’t have to go along with it.” She follows me out of the booth. “Wasn’t it obvious that I’d drunk too much?”

“You and me both, babe,” I agree.

“So you’re telling me that we got smashed and I asked you to marry me?” She wobbles, her face ashen. “And now we’re here, and you’re refusing to get it over with because marriage means something to you?”

“That’s about the gist of it.” It does mean something to me, just not what she thinks it does. At least not in this situation. I never thought I’d marry someone without loving them first. Never planned to stumble and bumble my way down the aisle, because yeah, marriage means forever. It means loving someone no matter how hard shit gets, and I figured the woman I ended up with would feel that way too. But Beck doesn’t want any of that. Not with me. Not at all. So right now, marriage means saving my father’s legacy and sorting out my life. And that’s enough. It has to be.

“Unbelievable.” She shakes her head and hugs her bag close, passing me and walking through the store. A couple of Mayhem regulars come in and she ducks around them and out the door.

“Trust me, she’s going to need a breather,” Lou says, gripping my shoulder and massaging one of the many knots.

I clench my teeth against the pain, try to relax into my sister’s rough handling. Doesn’t help. Grasping her hand, I take it off my shoulder. “Yeah. Yep. You’re probably right.”

“And you look like you could use a beer.”

“Hmmm.”

“Come on, your bride will keep. Have one on me.” She hooks her arm through mine and drags me toward the back part of the store.

“I’ll fall asleep at your bar,” I warn her.

“If you do I’ll wake you up.” She nudges me. “You’ll be home with your wife soon. No need to fret.”

“You’re getting far too much enjoyment out of this,” I grumble as she pushes me onto a stool.

Moving behind the counter, she angles a pint glass while she fills it from the beer tap. “It’s my God given right as your sister to take full advantage of your discomfort.”

I take it from her hand before she can place it in front of me. “You know why I’m doing this?”

“Of course.” She pats my wrist with a sympathetic smile. “Jack told me. You’re a good brother, Nox. I know you haven’t had much reason to think so recently, but you are.”

“Thanks.” I sip my beer. Don’t know how she can say that. I’ve let them down. Cost them too much. Have to do whatever I can to fix it.

Lou pours herself half a beer. Any minute one of my brothers will walk in for their shift, and she’ll be off the clock. “She seems nice.”

I jerk my chin. “Couldn’t tell you.”

She leans on the bar, folds her arms in front of her. “You must have thought something when you married her. After all, that happened long before you cut this deal.”

“Trust me, you don’t want to know what I was thinking.” I smirk as I touch my glass to hers. Best not to let her come to the conclusion that there’s something more here than money. Although even the next morning, sober but hungover as shit, I’d wanted to get to know Beck Casey better. A lot better.

“You boys and your testosterone.” Lou rolls her eyes.

My attraction to Beck got the better of me. That’s why I kissed her and then spilled my guts. Should have used my head. Been tactful. Kept my confession until we were back at the hotel. Now she’s going to be impossible. If she hasn’t packed her things and taken my one shot of getting my life back on track with her. Sliding the beer to Lou, I stand up. I’m a little unsteady. Didn’t eat today. Not since yesterday morning, but that’s the least of my problems right now. “I better go.”

“Come on, Beck. Open up.” I slam my palm into her door again. She’s still here. She didn’t check out. That’s something. Don’t know what I would have done if she’d left before I got here. But the room is still in her name, and a key card was waiting for me at the front desk. Don’t want to use it. Not until I have no choice. Don’t want to scare her.

I rap on the wood one last time. “We should talk.”

A couple walk past me, they glance my way as they move as close to the far wall as possible. Don’t care what they think. My head is a little giddy, and I rest my forehead on the door while I wait for the sensation to pass. No idea how I’ll convince her to stay if she’s in there packing. “Angel, open up. Talk to me.”

Nothing. Complete silence, except for the murmur of voices as the couple moves further away. I inhale deeply, push the breath out through my nose. I’m too tired for this shit. I want to go home and heat up what’s left of the leftovers Lou put in my freezer and fall asleep. But I’d take Beck’s couch without complaint if she would just answer me. I can’t let that money slip through my fingers. My family needs it, deserves it too much.

“I have a key card,” I warn her. Need to hear her voice just to be certain she’s still here. No idea what I’ll do if she isn’t. I can’t afford to chase her, but I need this deal with Liv too much to let it go. If she would tell me to go away, I could let her be for a while. Give her time to calm down.

She was so upset about what happened. Don’t understand why, and that doesn’t sit well with me either, but I’ll give her as much space as I can if she just stays. I’ll go home and feed Hollander. Take a shower. Eat. “Just let me know you’re okay. Or I’m going to let myself in.”

---