Page 59 of Catching Mr. Right

“But what if it does?” I groan in frustration. “And then you realize you’re so far from happy that there’s an empty space inside you that nothing can fill? What’s your plan for when your head fails you?”

“It won’t,” she argues. “He’s a sure bet.”

“Why?” I press her back against that blue door. The same one I’ve imagined her naked against time and time again. Only now it’s not her body I want to see as I graze my palm down her throat and press it to her chest. “Why is your head better than your heart?”

“Why do you care?” she asks.

“Because I do. Because we’re friends.” Because I want her to be certain of her choices. Because I want her to tell me she’s changed her mind and I’m the one instead. Gripping the back of her neck, I peer into her watery, bright eyes. Watery, because of me? Upsetting her deflates me faster than anything else could. I take her face between my hands, silken strands of her hair sticking to my fingers where they cradle her. “So tell me.”

“My head is logical enough to pick someone who won’t hurt me. My heart would stomp all over itself for love.” Blinking widely, she gulps down a mouthful of air. “That’s fine for those who have people to fall back on, people who will love them no matter what. But you and I don’t have that. Neither of us have enough left to risk, do we?”

“We have nothing.” The words come out raw, painful, because the only thing I have left that means anything to me is Soldier, and I’m risking him every day I stay here. For her. Because I need to help her find happiness. With her Mr. Right. Who isn’t me.

What would she say if she knew? One word from her could turn my whole world upside down again, and I’m not ready for that. I can’t let Juliette go. She was everything to me for so long. I can’t give up Soldier because maybe this girl in front of me fixes something inside me. Not letting her know how attached I’m becoming is easier than imagining what I’d do if she felt the same way.

“Exactly. So you understand why being with Sam is the right move for me?” She pushes at my chest.

No. No, I don’t understand it at all. Pulling her to me, I press my lips to her forehead and breathe in the sugary fragrance of her hair. Mandy Pearce deserves everything she wants. I just wish it was me. “I think you’re wrong.”

“You do?” She exhales, her breath stroking my Adam’s apple as the gap between us disappears.

Maybe it’s all me, moving closer, pushing her flat to the door, but I want to believe it’s not. I want to believe the reason her hands spread across my chest is because she can’t keep them off me, and not because she’s trying to keep me at bay.

“Yes, I fucking do.”

“And why is that? What do you think is right for me?”

Me. Fuck it. Me. I’m the guy.Not him. I almost tell her that. It’s on the tip of my tongue. But then a bunch of kids start yelling somewhere out in the field that stretches behind us.

Mandy pushes me away. “You don’t have an answer, because you don’t know. You think because you rode in here on your horse and started bossing me around that you know what’s right for me? I’ve known what I wanted for much longer than that. Even before I knew Sam. You have no idea how long I’ve held out for Mr. Right. How long I’ve waited for the perfect man to come along. This isn’t some crazy scheme I came up with when Sam came to town. Or even when I met him the first time, over a year ago. I’ve known what I wanted for years, studied men and analysed them and made decisions all based around the future I’ve chosen. And I am so close to getting what I want. He’s the one, and pretty soon he’s going to work that out too. So can we please stick to the plan?”

What else is there to say except, “Fine.”

“Good.”

Mandy Pearce is heartbreakingly, breathtakingly beautiful when she’s being stubborn like this. I can’t handle it anymore, but I don’t want to let her go. “But I have a condition.”

“What is that?”

“We make this seem even more real. We lead Sam to believe that if he wants you he’ll have to pull out all stops to steal you away from me. Starting with you staying at the ranch with me every night until we... until we’re done with this farce.”

“I don’t think that’s necessary,” she says. “When what we really need to do is break up.”

“Break up?”

“Right.”

Because this is a charade. One I have to get away from before it does me in. “Of course. We have to break up. The sooner we do that the better.”

“Exactly.” She gives a sharp nod of her chin. “You’ve already taken Soldier away from here. I can only imagine you’re restless and impatient to move on as well.”

Then I can work on forgetting her. “So how do you want to play this out?”

“I don’t know. I’m not sure.”

“What? You don’t have a plan for how this is supposed to go?”

“No.” She looks at me uncertainly, expectantly.

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